Act 2, Scene 7: James’s Monologue

[Curtain closes on Mr. Rainmaker, leaving JAMES TYLER alone on stage, a spotlight now on him, the red curtain only opened.]

JAMES: By now you either think I’m a complete smart-ass or funny as hell. Either way, I could care less. (pause) Well, I suppose I should tell you that this is the end. Yep, there’s no more! And I just have one thing to say: I’m glad that it’s over! This was a complete waste of my time and your time. It was just a badly fabricated excuse for all of us to be complete dirt bags to the rest of humanity. Completely ridiculous, if you ask me. And, yeah, I’m an asshole, but I figure we’re all going to hell anyway, right? So why not start early! It’s easy enough to suffer in this joke of a world, even easier to cause suffering! Ask Veronica and Pete; they would know. People suck, life sucks, the whole damn society is doomed to rot. Who cares! I’ve given up on caring a long time ago. It’s never done me any good. You’re all pathetic, you know that? I wouldn’t have sat through all this bull crap. I would have walked out a long time ago. Hell, I wouldn’t have even showed up! All this talk about our situation - it sickens me. We’re jerks because we’re jerks! Enough said. But do you see what I have to put up with everyday: my friends - the scum of the earth! And you wonder why I think society sucks? I look at my friends and I think - this is who society follows blindly. And the whole idea is nauseating. There’s no way around it, though. They’re the ones with the money and power. And hell if I’ll do anything to fix it. Remember? I’m a jerk, just like my friends, just like all of you - just like the whole damn world! So why should I care? I’m just going to live out my life and go to hell; it’s easier that way.

VERONICA: (offstage L) Well, aren’t you the pessimist, James? Do you expect them to feel sorry for you?

JAMES: No, I expect they’ll hate us all.

VERONICA: (still offstage) What about Lori and Mike? I’m sure everyone just loves them.

JAMES: Yeah. (to audience) I’m sure you all sympathize with them, but I don’t.

VERONICA: (offstage) You don’t?

JAMES: Mike thinks we’re good and Lori follows you and Pete around like a pathetic lamb.

VERONICA: (offstage) And you’re perfect? You’re just as cruel.

JAMES: (turning back to audience) I don’t deny it. I’m just as bad and then some. I pick on Joe, I taunt Mr. Rainmaker, and I disobey my father. Whatever. It makes me happy but keeps me miserable at the same time - and that’s life; a big mess of nothing. But you know what makes me different from Veronica and Pete? I don’t think I’m above anyone else. In my mind, we’re all equally stupid and selfish in our own part. I mean, did you see anyone decent tonight? I sure didn’t. And I was being honest when I said I’d rather be an orphan - what are parents good for, anyway? To boss you around and to raise you, so you can become just like them. It’ll happen to Pete. It’ll happen to Mike. It’ll happen to Ronnie. Maybe even to Lori, who knows? But I won’t become like my father. I won’t pretend to be righteous. I know right from wrong, just like everybody else. Just like my father - just like Pete, Veronica, Mike, and Lori. Call me a bastard! Call me a hypocrite! It’s all true! My whole problem is the whole damn world! And the world probably hates me, too! But you know what? The world doesn’t make me. I’ll still be a jackass whether the world changes or not - which it won’t. I am who I am. There’s no excuse in that. Goodnight. (Blackout. Exits R..)