Just me.

________________________________________________________________________

Chapter1

________________________________________________________________________

Ok. I've already started a Bio that talks about the dillusional, more happy and funny side to me. Now, I'm going to show the angst. I'm going to be completely truthful and tell you everything. Even the things I try to cover up to myself....

First of all, my name is Emily. Not Nieni. I have my weird, funny moments, but I'm actually a depressed girl who spends her life on the computer 24/7.

I only have two real friends, Alex and Amber. I've known Alex since fourth grade and amber since seventh.... Sure, I've had plenty of friends, but most forget about me as soon as summer break comes up.... the sad thing is, I don't care. Nothing matters to me anymore and that's fine.

I have my two friends, even though it's a rare occurrence that I see them, they keep me alive and I trust them completely and care for them deeply.

.... It almost breaks my heart that even they don't know me. They know the character, Nieni that I've built around myself.... Though, they have caught glimpses of me every once in a while. Mainly Amber.

My parents got divorced when I was in third grade. I didn't care. The only thing that pissed me off was the fact that my aunt Katie got the house and cut down the trees around it.... That was just wrong.... Never touch the trees.

My Pop lives with us again though. He lost his apartment and had nowhere else to go.

Damn, I make my family out to be so screwed up.... But then, I'm mostly just writing the angst, so it would seem that way wouldn't it?

I haven't been outside for two years. Sure, I go out to wait for the bus, but that's it. Even without my Irish inheritance, I'd probably be extremely pale....

I haven't had a boyfriend since elementary school, and that doesn't even count. I was always 'shy.' Though, in my opinion, 'detached' would be a better word. Not that it matters. I hardly even look at the real world. When I'm not reading or writing, I'm inside my head. I guess I don't get upset over things because I'm not paying attention to what's going on around me in the first place.

In my mind, I've made up a dream world, I have a boyfriend named Nite, and I'm happy. Screw everything else. I don't care. Unless it has to do with my friends. I'm willing to come out of my 'happy place' for them.

My mom is going through pre-medapause. She's also depressed and is rarely sober. I hate the sound of her voice, always slurred and sounding like a child. I love my mother, but I would love nothing more than to slap her....

I try to have a decent conversation with her and she somehow twists it into a sad story about her childhood. I just wanted to know if she could take me to get a bathing suit... .

.... That's enough for now. I'll continue later. Reviews would be appreciated, they're one of the few things I still enjoy, though e-mails are much better....