Raven of Passage

By: ChocolateEclar

A/N: Commander Regis is back again in this chapter. I changed how he speaks a bit. “Ah=I” because that’s kind of how his accent causes him to make the ‘I’ sound. ^_^

Chapter 7: A Single Touch

My stomach clenched and the corners of my eyes prickled as I fought the urge to burst into tears. Estrella told me how it happened between Vir and Dilly and I can’t even bear to ask her any more questions. I was sure if I were to speak the tears would fall and I wouldn’t be able to stop till my eyes were inflamed and my nose runny. As it was, I was biting my lip and trying to think of a way to get Estrella to leave the room without talking. Which is virtually impossible so I lay down and buried my face in my pillow.

The bed creaked as Estrella sat on the edge and rubbed my back soothingly. I can’t help but let out a shuddering sob. I hadn’t even realized my feelings for Vir were this strong! But who was I to resist feeling affection towards a handsome kind-hearted guy? ‘I just couldn’t resist,’ I told myself firmly. But the realization that Dilly of all people had earned his affections sent me into a place in my mind I had thought I’d gotten rid of when I had arrived at Camp Greenhorn.

My mother was hitting me again with those fists backed up by mountains of flesh. I was so much smaller than her even though I was about sixteen. She weighed far more than even I did at the time and she was about as wide as she was tall giving her a square appearance. I recalled that time more clearly than any of the others because it was when I had finally gathered my limited self-esteem and had told her that her new boyfriend was as abusive a dolt as she was.

Naturally, I regretted that instantly in the form of a bleeding lip and an eye so swollen it was stuck shut. I was screaming that I was sorry and she was roaring back that she wasn’t taking my damn lies!

Okay, so I was only sorry physically. Inside I knew I had meant it. If only I had been quicker and had evaded her when she yanked me towards her by one of the faded shirts she had once wore and was still far too large for me.

I normally didn’t contradict my mother because of the thrashings she had given me as an infant every time I had cried. But that day I had made a mistake and had paid for it.

Shortly afterwards, I packed my few possessions in the middle of the night and had snuck out the back door.

Three years later I was back to a familiar depressed state, but this time I was at Camp Greenhorn and was depressed for a new reason.

************************************************************************

November arrived, cold and dismal. The fact that Durus was making me run laps in the bitter cold and early snowfall wasn’t improving my mood any, that much was for sure. Vir, Dilly, the others senior trainees, and all the people who had passed the required amount of classes in the trimester were graduating the first weekend of the month. It was held in that huge room in Facility Four with the platform. Everyone sat and watched as Tribuo and Regis, who had arrived that morning, stepped forward. The seniors were looking exceptionally pleased, especially Dilly, as they stood behind them and before the sitting lieutenants. The appearance of Commander Regis only darkened my mood further.

Tribuo had a little silver case in his hands as he smiled cheerfully at the seniors and the audience. He opened the case when everyone had settled and said, “It is an honor to present this trimesters graduates. They have all passed with flying colors and are now presented with a new pendent to add to their necklaces. One by one I’d like to give each of our senior trainees their silver and gold pendants to hang next to their gold ones. Afterwards the rest of the trimesters’ alumnus may step up to the stage for their silver and gold pendants. Unlike the seniors’ pendant though, theirs’ will not have tiny blue topaz eyes.”

One by one the seniors stepped forward. Vir was first, beaming happily as he threaded his new pendant onto his necklace so that it rested against the gold one. His grandfather, Captain Harold Avee, was there, grinning at his grandson proudly from where he stood leaning against the wall to the left of the dais. When it was Dilly’s turn, she took her pendant haughtily and then went over to Vir and threaded her arm through his. It stung and I looked away, trying to erase the memory from my mind.

When all five seniors were done receiving their pendants, the members of the audience that were graduating as well stepped forward. I turned towards Regis, wondering, for what felt like the umpteenth time, if I should ask him if he was who I suspected he was. But I didn’t and when the ceremony was over, I couldn’t help but forget about him and turn my thoughts to Vir. Tomorrow he would be leaving and someone would take his place as senior of our team. I was guessing it would probably be Aduro. He was good leadership material after all, but I was wrong.

It was me. I hadn’t even been in the camp for as long as Aduro, Atra, and Estrella and Tribuo and the lieutenants picked me?! ‘What the heck are they thinking?!’ was my first thought on the matter and the second was simply, ‘I can’t believe it!’ Apparently I had been working so hard the lieutenants had actually noticed! They had voted for me! Even Durus had according to cocky young Lieutenant Praeter. He had taken a liking to me and was the one to tell me the news. I couldn’t believe it! But, as proof, he handed me a crisp sheet of white paper with the wolf emblem on top and a letter explaining what my new duties would be as senior of a team. I would be sworn in on November tenth and would receive my new uniforms (blue ones with a gold band on my right shoulder like Vir’s old ones) and a little plaque with my name on it.

Estrella didn’t seem surprised when I told her, neither did anyone else, except Dilly and her soon-to-be ex-team, for that matter. Vir, wearing a uniform like the one I, of all people, would be adorned in soon, came up to me right after lunch that day. It was his last day and I felt my chest heave in agony. ‘Gods,’ I thought. ‘He really is leaving.’

We walked out of the cafeteria together and outside in silence. Did he know how much pain I was in? Each gulp of air I took brought me closer to wanting to weep. His eyes where storming as we sat on a bench out in the cold November air next to each other. I have no idea what my eyes looked like but they probably were glassy with unshed tears and unnaturally dim.

Finally he said, “Congrats on becoming a senior trainee.” Was that all he wanted to say? ‘If so,’ I told myself. ‘He could’ve done it in the warm cafeteria.’ I didn’t mean it though. I wanted-no-I needed to be alone with him one more time before he left. “I know you’ll do a great job at it,” he added after a few moments.

“Thanks,” I managed to mutter, my insides constricting. “I-I hope you do well as a member of the Wolf Force,” I stammered. “I’m sure you can.”

I made the mistake of meeting his gaze then and I quickly turned away so he wouldn’t see the rebelling tear trickle out of my eye and down my cheek. But of course he did. I mean, it wasn’t a very subtle turn of my heard. It was more like my head whipped around.

Then, he did something that surprised me so much I gasped. He turned slightly so that he could see half of my face and wiped the tear away with his thumb. In the wintry atmosphere his touch was warmer than ever and I felt like my insides were melting. With one single tap, I knew that there was something similar in the way he was feeling to the way I was feeling and turned fully towards him. He looked away, finding the dirt covered in snow by his feet unusually interesting. I like snow, not the cold, myself but the dirty brown and white mixture wasn’t exactly appealing looking. I could tell he was hiding something.

“Are you really going to marry Dilly?” I whispered, my voice wavering slightly at the tender topic.

He winced vaguely and I scooted closer to him on the bench. Finally he sighed and looked at me with bright blue eyes shining with vulnerability. I thought I had read them wrong somehow but inside I knew I hadn’t. He was afraid to say what was in his heart.

I gave him a little nod to reassure him of all doubts and he smiled slightly. I was rejoicing inside because for once I had given him a confidence booster. “How can I marry Dilly when I care about someone else far more?” he said cryptically. “That is, if that person will have me even though I made a block-headed mistake.” It was rather like he had mixed a question in with his statement and I blamed the cold for taking me so long to decipher his meaning.

Had he really asked me what I thought he had? ‘Perhaps I gave him too much confidence,’ I thought jokingly.

I couldn’t help it. I flung my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder as I wept away my tears. He was rather shocked at first, his whole body tense. But after awhile he relaxed and placed one hand on my back. It was awfully cold and the sudden contact caused us both to warm up quickly.

I muttered something into his shirt and he laughed and asked, “What was that?”

“I said,” I reiterated, sitting up, “that I should be the one apologizing.”

“You already did, remember?” he replied. “Back on the volleyball court.”

‘So I did,’ I realized. “Still, “I said, “I shouldn’t have acted like that. Its just I’m so used to taking care of my problems alone that when you wanted to help I couldn’t bring myself to accept.” I looked up at him and queried, my lip extended in an imitation pout, “’Forgive me?”

He laughed, loud and real, and teased, “Now how could I resist such a face?”

I playfully pushed him off the bench, but unfortunately I went with him because his arm was still behind my back. We landed in the snow in a leap. “Atleast this time you didn’t land on me,” I said, climbing off of him and brushing the snow off of me. My clothes were wet with melting snow, but I didn’t mind too much.

He laughed, slowly picking himself off the ground before putting one cold, snow-covered hand on my arm. “Eek!” I shrieked, shoving him back into the snow. We both were laughing now.

“Ready to go inside?” he asked, standing back up beside me.

I nodded, but stopped him by tugging on his hand as I remembered something I wanted to tell him. He turned his head back to me quizzically. “I’ll miss you,” I whispered my voice cracking.

He smiled softly and turned fully around towards me. “’Me too, Raven.” He leaned forward and kissed me lightly on my forehead. Then he turned around again and walked back to Facility Three.

I didn’t move for a few moments. I was stiff with shock. He had kissed me! Me, the midget! Me, the geek! Me, the-well, I think you get the gist of my thoughts that what was going on in my fogging head. I followed him inside and if someone had seen me right then they would have thought I had gone insane for there was this funny, dazed grin on my face.

The grin disappeared as soon as I realized why Vir had stopped so suddenly in the huge lobby of Facility Three. Dilly was dead ahead and looking like hell had frozen over. Trying to look casual, I said, in as calm a voice I could muster when looking at the girl puffing in rage, “Hi, Dilly. What’s up?”

“WHAT’S UP?!?!” she screeched. Both Vir and I were backing away from Dilly worriedly. Had she seen him kissing my forehead? I mean we had been right in front of the door and all so she-“You little-” here she dubbed me several rude names, “you know perfectly well what’s up!!!” Obviously, she had seen us. So not good.

She was certainly making a scene. I could see half of Camp Greenhorn staring at us and I felt like sinking into the shiny marble floor. Vir was hovering between us, looking like he was afraid Dilly would try to attack me, which of course she did before anyone could react.

She sprang at me, dodging Vir and tackling me to the ground. My head made contact with the hard floor causing me to bite my lip hard and my vision to swim. I cried out, trying to kick her off of me since she had my arms pinned down. Vir removed her then, pretty much dragging her by her waist. I sat up shakily, my head and neck throbbing.

“Miss Primoris!!!” hollered someone in a deep, firm voice. I turned slightly and realized it was Commander Regis who had spoken. “That’s enough!” he continued sharply. Dilly silenced her curses at Vir and I and straightened.

“Commander,” she squeaked. “If there is anyone who needs to be yelled at its her!” she added, pointing to me. I was clutching my head in pain for it was aching so unfavorably. Regis eyed me before shouting at Miriam, who was looking smugly at me, to call the camp nurse. She complied reluctantly. No one defies the commander that was for sure.

The commander talked to Dilly then Vir and by the time he turned to me, still sitting on the floor painfully, the nurse had arrived and had me follow her to her office in Facility One. Vir followed us without even asking Regis.

************************************************************************

“You definitely have a mild concussion,” said the nurse, Mrs. Rememdium.

‘No, really,’ I thought sarcastically, my head making me irritable, well, more irritable than usual anyway.

Vir was looking anxiously at me like I was glass and he’s afraid I was going to break. And I was ready to tell him to shud off when Commander Regis steps in and my words died on my tongue. I had an ice pack to my head and Mrs. Rememdium had crushed a Tylenol and put it in applesauce for me because I just can’t swallow pills and chewable Tylenol is nauseating.

Regis appears resolute about something everywhere but his hazel eyes, which, I might add, up close there is no doubt they’re identical to mine. It’s the same mixture of muddy brown and moss green.

Vir looked from the commander to me and back to Regis. He knew my suspicions about Regis and he saw the resemblance. His features were hard and lined with age but he still had the same nose and eyes as me. His hair was totally gray, but his wing-like eyebrows were black and he was adorned in his raven-black uniform with the silver wolf emblem on it.

“So, Commander, now long have you suspected? Since you saw me during that first inspection?” I snapped. He had been looking at my like he’d seen a ghost that day and now I knew why.

He returned the same glower I was giving him right back and retorted, “Perceptive little brat, aren’t you? A lot more so than your naggin’ mum.” He growled at me and continued, “Ah paid a visit to good ol’ Dove Fugam jus’ a few days ago. Oh she was surprised to see me again,” he added with a snarl at my surprised look.  “Ah asked her about ya and she told me ya had run away three years ago. ‘Told me good riddance to ya too ‘cause you were nothing but trouble to ‘er.”

“Of course she would think so,” I muttered, still glaring.

“She threw a bottle at me when ah told her you was in the Wolf Force too. ‘Said she hoped ya died in some stupid battle,” he said. “Dear thing was so agitated she had actually thrown one of her precious bottles of hair dye at me. ‘Hair’s still bleached blonde, she’s probably as gray as Ah am underneath.” He was talking so differently from when he was barking at the trainees. He talked so simply, cutting off unneeded words pr parts here and there. He had a funny accent that had been hidden by his roars too. It sounded a bit Southern and British so that I didn’t know what to make of it. It puzzled me for no reason I could think of. Maybe it was because he was so different from my mother.

Perhaps he had left because he had realized he couldn’t stand her? I honestly didn’t know at the time.

“You really are my father,” I whispered.

“Blood don’t make a father,” he snapped. “Ah wasn’t there for ya. ‘Didn’t take ya away from that hag, so Ah wouldn’t go callin’ me something like that.” He had been so formal to the others and here he was telling me not to think of him as my dad because he hadn’t been there for me. He had a good point, but still I felt rather like I was far more like him than my mother. Its not very hard not to be like a sadistic jerk though. No, I’m not saying my mother was a jerk. Really, I’m not.

************************************************************************

I watched Vir prepare to leave outside, my heart sinking. He was loading his baggage in the trunk of his car before slamming down the lid. Dilly wasn’t there with the departing graduates because she was in major trouble with Regis-er-I suppose I could call him “Rex” since he doesn’t want me to think of him as “Father,” no?

Estrella punched Vir playfully on his arm just for old times’ sake while Atra and Aduro crowded around him and I hovered in the background. If I had known what Vir would go through in the months to come, I might have atleast tried to stop him even if it wouldn’t have worked.

Finally, he turned to me, a strange emotion, I couldn’t name at the time, in his cerulean eyes. The other three walked away to give us privacy and I felt my eyes sting with suppressed tears. Why did I have to keep crying lately? I hadn’t cried in years and I had a feeling all the concealed weeping sessions were all appearing at once because I was now in a totally new environment then that of my childhood and in my old apartment.

“I know I said this before, but I’ll really miss you,” I whispered.

He smiled softly and said, “Just think, if you keep up the great work we’ll meet again out on the field.”

“I don’t know-” I began.

“Don’t you dare put yourself down, Miss Inferiority Complex,” he muttered, tilting towards me and leaning his forehead against mine so that his eyes bore into my hazel ones.

I laughed. “Yes, sir,” I said, trying to sound certain.

The obstreperous roar of Rex Regis signaled it was time for the graduates to get on the buses or in their cars to go to whichever new Wolf Force base they were assigned to. Several hurried while others said some more good-byes.

Vir closed his eyes momentarily and, while he seemed to savor our last period together for the time remaining, I took in every last of his features. The fifteen tiny freckles that spread from one eye, across the bridge of his nose, and to the other eye. The way the roots of his hair where a darker golden color while the feathery bangs brushing my forehead and the rest of his shaggy locks were a light yellow. I already knew the depths of his ocean-blue eyes as well as I knew the back of my hand so there was no need to memorize them, still, when he reopened them I took in their splendor one more time.

He grinned genuinely and made me smile right back at him. I was about to remove my forehead from its place against his, but before I could he had done something that made my eyes widen in dumbfounded incredulity.

He kissed me.

Not on the forehead like he had before, but square on the mouth.

I leaned into it, a little confused as to what I was to do with my nose. I had seen enough romance movies to know that I was supposed to wrap my arms around his neck, which I did at the same time he draped his arms around my waist.

My head was fuzzy when we separated for air and then he smirked sheepishly and said, “Gotta go, Raven!”

“Wha?! Wait, you ass! What was-oh well,” he was gone before I could get the question fully out. I just stood there a moment longer, completely befuddled before the goofy grin made its way to my face and my brain registered fully what had just occurred.

Vir kissed me!!! Wahoo!

That also left me with the realization that I wouldn’t see him for atleast several months. Darn. But nothing, not even that, could dampen that day for me.

Vir kissed me!!!

************************************************************************

A/N: ^_^ I like this chapter, its one big Raven/Vir fest.

To Danielle: See, I did use your concussion/Regis idea! *laughs* ^__^

A/N 2: I’m going to work on a one-shot/songfic that starts with this chapter and goes through most of Vir’s time out in the field in short before Raven becomes a full-fledged Wolf Force member as well. It’ll be a bit darker than this for most of it considering some pretty bad stuff happens to Vir. Look out for it, it’ll be entitled “Here Without You” and feature a song by 3 Doors Down with the same name.

A/N 3: Don’t forget to review! All reviews are welcomed, but any flames just get hit with a fire extinguisher. ^__-