Come join Adolf, Benito, Joseph and the whole gang in a warped, whacked out adventure that includes various strange things. More episodes soon to be posted!!!
Episode One: 'The Anti-socials' == Adolf is a teenager who just wants a little fun in life, with his two companions, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin they can accomplish... just about nothing. Proving once and for all that not all freaks are geeks.

DICTATOR INC.

"This is so gay!" Adolf Hitler hollered from the back of Mr. Shnargenhargen's class.
"Adolf, would you please be quiet?!" Mr. Shnargenhargen asked putting down the marker he was writing with.
"No, I refuse to be quiet!" Adolf said standing on a chair "I propose that we rebel against the teachers! Our days of oppression are over my friends!"
"Everyone please remain calm!" Mr. Shnargenhargen cried as the students started to murmur, "Everyone please sit down!"
"RACIST PIG!!!" Adolf shouted, "ATTACK!!"
The students stood up and ran screaming out the door, knocking over desks and tables as they ran.
"Why do you have to do this EVERY FUCKING MORNING?!" Mr. Shnargenhargen asked frantically as Adolf Hitler began to walk out of the door.
"What do you expect, a barmitzfa?" Adolf smirked," I'm Adolf Hitler, give me a break." Adolf walked out the door and met his buddies Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin who had been released from their classrooms.
"A little later today," Benito said casually, "Vat took you so long?"
"I fell asleep," Adolf said "sorry."
"Sorry don't cut the cheese, man." Joseph said "I got an assignment in World Dominations."
"I vasn't zere, vat vas ze assignment?" Benito asked curiously.
"Conquer the globe." Joseph said dully "I'll just copy what I tried last semester, the teachers won't know the difference."
"Good plan." Benito said casually "At least you didn't get an assignment in Economics... ve have to find out a vay to conquer ze globe vizout disturbing ze economy... vat a load of bullshit."
"Yeah, we're dictators, what are they thinking?" Adolf asked, knocking over little Napolean as he walked past. Napolean fell in and Benito slammed the door behind them. Immediantly, Napolean began to shout and curse in French followed by and instinctive call of "BASTARDS!!" and "CHICKEN SHITS!!"
"Shut up you crazy French bastard..." Adolf laughed.
"Hey, lets catch some lunch before ve go." Benito said "Maybe zeres somezing edible today."
"Fine, fine, lets go." Adolf said, readjusting his Nazi armband on his shoulder.

*9 MINUTES LATER IN THE LUNCHROOM*

"Are zey actually expecting us to eat zis shit?!" Benito asked, ringing at the lunch menu: BBQ on bun, bun, dinner roll, pears, and a half an orange.
"I know I'm not gonna." Adolf said.
"Well, I'm starving." Joseph said "I guess I'm eating." Joseph loaded down his plate with everything and went to go to his table along with Adolf and Benito who both refused to eat.
"Um... excuse me, you have to pay for that." the lunchlady called. Adolf looked back.
"You're lucky we're eating it!! This food is fucking terrible!!!"
"LANGUAGE!" shouted the lunchlady "You still need to pay for your food though."
"Fellow students!!... I mean Joseph and Benito..." Adolf started "I propose we declare war on the lunchladies!!! ARE YOU WITH ME?!"
"'TIL DEATH!!" Joseph shouted, dropping his tray.
"'TIL DEATH!!" Benito shouted.
"FORWARD!!!" Adolf shouted, advancing on the lunchlady.
The lunchlady shouted and ran back into the kitchen. Adolf, Benito, and Joseph all ran after her, cursing and shouting. They caught up with her easily and tied her up.
"Free lunch today too..." Adolf said "Today wasn't too bad."

*3:20p.m. AFTER "SCHOOL"*

Benito and Joseph crawled into Adolf's tank which had duel 20 mm machine guns on either side. Adolf climbed inside and Benito and Joseph manned the machine guns. The trio blazed down the school parking lot, shooting anything and everything that moved.
"AHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Adolf screamed "PIIIIIGS!!" Adolf swerved hard and ran straight into a fence, releasing a farmers swine from their pen.
"HEY!" Benito shouted "Cool it down zere!"
"I'm driving, don't break my concentration!" Adolf shouted from within the tank, running over and elderly woman with a tiny french poodle.
"Damn French bastards..." Adolf whispered to himself, shaking his head.
"Remind me where we're going!" Joseph yelled.
"To my stronghold!" Adolf shouted back.
"I sought zat ve vere going to your house!" Benito shouted back to Adolf.
"My stronghold IS my house." Adolf hollared back, running over a little girl riding on a moped as he turned a corner.

*AT ADOLF'S HOUSE*

When they all arrived at Adolf's house the trio headed downstairs into Adolf's cellar/headquarters to plan their next attack on their classmates.
"So vat's ze attack stradegy?" Bentio asked peering at a map of the city.
"We're going to egg these houses here, and here" Adolf explained, pointing to random houses on the map "These houses we soap... now the trees in the park are short, but they'll hold about 12 rolls of toilet paper easy... plus it'll piss of the city plenty."
"Uh..." Joseph interrupted "How are we going to pay for all the ammunition?"
"Yeah, I haff no money." Benito said "I'm broke."
"We could sell our bodies to science again." Joseph suggested.
"OOOO NO, I have 1 lung, 1/2 a kidney, and 8 fingers left. I can't afford to lose any more boy parts." Adolf argued, slamming his fist on the table.
"Vait! I zink.... yeah.... I just got an idea." Benito said, standing up suddenly "Alexander."
"Alexander the Great or Alexander the guy from the drycleaners?" Joseph asked.
"Guess dumbass..." Benito said.
"Uhh..."
"ALEXANDER THE GREAT YOU MORON!!!" Benito shouted "We borrow the money from Alexander the Great."
"I say we go for it, it's worth a try." Adolf said.
"Ok." Joseph said "Can we please take the car this time, my ass is killing me..."
"Um, no, and that's final." Adolf said "We're taking the tank whether you like it or not."
"Fine..." Joseph said and then walked off, cursing rapidly in Russian. After Joseph had left, Benito walked over to Adolf.
"How much do you think it'll cost for all the things we need?" Bennito asked "Because you know Alexander... charges everyone 400% interest..."
"What the-WHAT?!" Adolf shouted " 400% INTEREST?!"
"Don't worry, we can raise the money."
"Benito, we couldn't even scavange $15.00 for supplies, what makes you think that we'll be able to pay that ass-clown back after we've spent it all?"
"You know what, you worry too much." Benito said. "You need to simmer, everything's gonna work out, trust me."

*LATER... AT ALEXANDERS HOUSE*

"I c-c-can't t-t-t-t-t-t-take any m-m-m-m-more of th-this!!" Joseph shouted as the crew thundered down Alexanders rocky, 47 mile driveway.
"OH VOULD YOU SHUT UP!! YOUR MAKING IT VORSE FOR OZERS..." Benito shouted, irritably from behind him. Adolf's tank halted outside Alexanders mansion, which was four stories and had countless windows and balconys.
"Now everyone shut up and let me do ze talking." Benito said, walking up to the door and knocking. Adolf and Joseph exchanged nervous glances as they heard a shuffling noise inside followed by a booming voice.
"WHO THE HELL IS IT!?" the voice demanded from behind the doors.
"Potential customers." Benito said in a strong, curt voice. The mahogony doors opened slightly, and a giant
head poked out.
"Me Khan." the man said bluntly "Me let in. You come in. NOW!!!"
The trio recognized the face and voice of Genghis Khan, one of Alexander's muscles. He opened the door fully and let everyone in and shut the door with a ~snap~ behind Joseph who was bringing up the rear. He then continued to guide the crew down a series of hallways, corridors, and passageways, all of which had thousands of burning candles instead of lights.
"Dude, vat's viz ze candles?" Benito asked.
"Khan like fire." Genghis Khan said, smiling as though reliving his favorite memory. Adolf tried to be polite and tried to engage Khan in conversation.
"So, when did Alexander buy this mansion?" he asked, looking around.
"Last week." Genghis Khan replied "Person finally paid. Khan had to use force." he grinned stupidly again, chuckling a little. Joseph almost wet himself with fear. Finally what seemed like ages they arrived in front of a pair of oaken doors. Genghis Khan approached them as though the doorknob might attack him and knocked.
"THIS HAD BETTER BE IMPORTANT, 'CAUSE I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME!!!" came Alexander's voice from behind the door, he had a very commanding and business- like voice that made Joseph jump. Genghis Khan opened the doors and everyone filed into Alexander's office. Alexander was sitting in a plush velvet chair behind a desk which contained bills and other random payments.
"Sit, sit, sit..." Alexander said, flourishing his hand in the air, pointing at three chairs in front of his desk "Now, who are you and how much do you wish to withdraw?"
"Uh, who do I look like?" Adolf asked.
"Oh, I don't know, I'm not very good at this... you look more like Danny Devito than anyth-"
"DANNY DEVITO?!" Adolf shouted, standing up "I'm ADOLF HITLER!!!" Genghis Khan stepped forward and slammed Adolf back into his seat.
"rrriiiggghhhttt... anyway." Alexander said, pulling out a clipboard and a pen "Now how much do you want to borrow?"
"15.00 dollars." Benito said, sweeping his eyes from Adolf to Alexander, not daring to get up "We need it really bad." Alexander stood there a moment, making sure he heard right.
"So all you need is 15.00 dollars is that right?" Alexander said, staring very intently at them.
"Well yeah..." Joseph said. Suddenly, Alexander gave a large whoop of laughter, followed by Genghis Khan with a short grunting laugh.
"So you'll lend us the money?" Adolf asked.
"No." Alexander said, looking suddenly serious.
"Vhy not?" Benito asked.
"Because there's a 500.00 dollar minimum withdrawl." Alexander said, looking at his check book.
"DUDE, you charge 400% interest!! That's like 2 grand by tomorrow!!!" Adolf exclaimed "Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS!!!" Alexander stared at Adolf for a second, snapped his fingers, and Genghis Khan immediantly picked them up by the scruff of their shirts and threw them out.
"What a dick..." Joseph said "Great... now what do we do?"
"Well... there's always the 'five fingers' discount store." Adolf said, wriggling his fingers.
"You mean... steal the stuff?" Benito asked.
"Well, yeah."
"I ask how, repeat, HOW are you going to get 72 rolls of toilet paper out the door vizout no one noticing?..." Benito asked.
"It'll be easy..." Adolf said "What could go wrong?"

*OUTSIDE THE GROCERY STORE*

Adolf parked the tank on top of two cars and hopped out. That's when they noticed the new additions they had made to the store. Sharpshooters and snipers sat on top of the archway that went into the store, the doors were guarded by men with machine guns, and the new metal detectors made sure no one would be allowed, in or out of the store without being checked.
"Vat could go wrong, eh?..." Benito mocked "How in ze hell are ve going to get past zem?"
"I'll... um... see we could uh... pass." Adolf said, looking downfallen.
"Wait a minute!!! I got an idea! follow me!" Joseph said.
"Sure, lets follow ze crazy vone..." Benito said sarcastically.
"We might as well see what he's doing..." Adolf shrugged. They all followed Joseph to the back door which was flung wide open and was unprotected.
"How did you know it was open?" Adolf asked. Joseph sighed "Everyone knows that grocery stores never close their back doors... duh!"
"rrrrrrriiiiiigggggghhhht..." Benito said "Vell, lets go inside shall we?"
"Yeah, lets go." Adolf said, pushing past Joseph and through the doorway.

*INSIDE...*

"oooOOOOOoooohhh... the colors..." Joseph said dumbly as he stared at the bottle tops to the milk cartons.
"Joseph, vat ze hell is wrong viz you?" Benito asked.
"Found them." Adolf said "Isle 420... let's see... eggs... eggs... Isle 69, ok, we're off."
"SWEET, CANDY!!!" Joseph shouted, sprinting the opposite direction.
"Damnit Joseph, NO. SIT. STAAAAAAY." Adolf said, trying to calm his friend.
"Vat is wrong wiz him?" Benito asked.
"I dunno..." Adolf replied "He never acted like this before..." Joseph sprinted down the isles and grabbed everything they needed and began to run out the front door.
"VAT ZE HELL IS HE DOING?!" Benito shouted "HE'S GONE NUTTY!!!" But, to their suprise, no one even got a shot off at him, they all just stood there and watched him run off.
"What the fuck?..." Adolf said, stepping outside and looking up. The snipers were still in their positions, ready to fire... except... now that they were closer Adolf could see that they weren't even blinking! A strong wind came up and... one of them blew over! They were cardboard cut- outs!
"DUDE, NO WAY!" Adolf shouted.
"VE VERE FOOLED BY CARDBOARD?!" Benito hollared "VAT A CROCK!"
"I SAY WE REBEL!!!" Adolf said marching back into the store.
"ON TO BATTLE!!!" Joseph shouted, turning around and sprinting back into the store, the random objects he had picked out still in his hands.
"ONWARD!!!" Benito shouted and all of them stormed into the store.
They all ran to the nearest podeum and grabbed microphones that were rigged to the intercom.
"My fellow Germans!! Four score and seven years ago our forefathers built this establishment... except they were full of shit! I bring you the promise of free food, new appliances, and everything-"
"ABSOLUTELY FREE!" Benito shouted "Ve vill not be denied our canned goods and toilet paper any longer. If ve band togezer anyzing is possible!!!"
"...uh, yeah." Joseph added.
The customers began to nod and knock things over, causing several bag boys to run and scream like little girls.
"I say we fight for ourselves!" Adolf said, his fist shaking "ARE YOU WITH ME?!?!?!"
"ADOLF, ADOLF, ADOLF..." the crowd cheered, continuing to demolish the store.
"Vell, zat vos easy...." Benito said.
"Let's just grab what we need and go." Adolf said, walking to isle 420.
"Right." Joseph said, apparently returning to normal.

*10 MINUTES LATER IN THE PARKING LOT*

Adolf, Benito, and Joseph rolled carts upon carts of toilet paper, cartons of eggs, and packages of soap out of the flame-engulfed store.
"Wow..." Adolf said surveying the load "Thats... a lot of toilet paper..."
"No kidding." Joseph said "How are we going to get al this stuff home?"
"Let's get some rope to tie the carts to the tank quickly before the store burns down."
"I'll do it." Joseph said, walking casually into the burning store.
"What a dumbass..." Adolf said, as the firefighters of Dictoria began to arrive.
Suddenly, the roof collapsed, crushing Joseph.
"Dude, bummer..." Adolf said "...Oh well, lets go."
"Yeah, now zat Joseph is gone, zere's enough room in ze tank." Benito said. Adolf bent over and whispered in Benito's ear "There was in the first place..."
"Oh well, lets go home." Benito said, emptying the shopping cart full of 'supplies' into the tank.

*AFTER THAT...*

Later that night Benito and Adolf egged, TPed, and soaped Alexander the Great's house which cost him about almost all of the money he had lent out in order to fix all of the property.

Also, Joseph came back. A little burn and charred, but ok.

*UP NEXT ON DICTATOR INC...*

Adolf finds new love, but will it break up the group, or is it just full of shit? ...plus the gang tries some new 'stuff' to try. FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON...

-=DICTATOR INC.=-