Warnings: Rated R for sexual content, language and mild violence.

“Life in the Fast Lane”
by: AikoShrek

1. Gay guys are like that.

When you experience, first hand, that reckless driving can kill you… Things tend to change.

A stop sign suddenly has a new purpose. No longer does it mean glide through at a slightly reduced speed. It now means slow until a complete stop, scan the area for any approaching cars, and slowly inch out until it’s safe to go.

Yellow lights mean slow down.

You tend to use your directional frequently. You find it’s helpful to let others know which direction you’re planning on going. You like other people being ready for your turn. You like that other drivers are aware of your next move.

When you miss a turn, you simply go to the next u-turn and turn around, taking the turn again. You don’t cut across lanes of traffic in order to make it.

This is how I view things now. Life comes slower to me. I was once in full gear, acting like the assholes I curse at now. Once I had everything going for me and I loved it. Now I count my blessings that I’m alive.

“Yo, Andy!” I heard my name and cringed. I almost got away with it.

“What?” I sighed, turning to face my best friend. She slowed as she neared me and panted, obviously furious with me. I glanced behind her at the dormitories and the back to her face tiredly.

“You just left me back there alone!” she shouted, placing her hands on her hips and eyeing me unbelievably. “What the hell was that all about?”

“I got bored?” I shrugged. I really just wasn’t in the mood to deal with her.

“Andy…” she scolded me slowly, shaking her head of long, soft brown curls as if I would understand her with this motion.

I shook my head. “He’s annoying.”

Sara moaned a little, rolling her eyes. “God, there’s no guy is good enough for you, is there?”

I shrugged. “Stop trying to set me up. I meet plenty of guys.” It was true. I met guys all the time. It’s not like I needed her setting me up with people.

“I know,” she replied through gritted teeth. “I’d just like to see you with a boyfriend for once.”

“Guys don’t really like having boyfriends…” I paused before correcting myself. “At least I don’t.”

Sara shook her head and glanced back behind her and up the narrow building to approximately where her room was located. Somewhere near the same floor, at least. “He’s really nice.”

I watched her vacantly, already having no interest whatsoever in this guy she had me meet. “His name’s Henry,” I pointed out. “I’m not dating anyone named Henry.”

“I could tell him your real name’s Sandy,” she smirked.

I shrugged. “Wouldn’t change my opinion.” I hoped she wouldn’t breath a word of that to anyone.

“God, you’re so judgemental,” she whined.

I shrugged. “Gay guys are like that.” I smirked, continuing just to get a rise out of her. “Oh, and did you see his shoes? He was like… wearing penny loafers.”

Sara turned back to me and shoved me, unable to help but laugh as well.

She pulled me back through the school building and down the hallway towards the eighth floor common room. She had invited a bunch of people over to inconspicuously get the two of us together. She was never good at sneaking around. At least people were having fun.

“Here he is,” Sara announced happily, producing me at her side and beaming at Henry. “This is Andy.”

Henry smiled shyly. This would never work. I’m the shy one. He’s supposed to be the overbearing, muscular one.

“Hi,” I forced an optimistic tone for Sara. She’d never let me live this down otherwise.

He started talking about classes or something, I’m not sure. I really wasn’t paying attention. I continued to glance around the room absently, nodding briefly and inserting short laughs and agreeing tones whenever a space was left for some sort of reaction.

I was just about to give up on this fashion disaster and ditch the party, when I caught sight of someone heading in from the lobby.

True, I was a returning sophmore and this was the third month of college, but I had tried to make it a point of meeting every new male student around, and I had never laid eyes on this one before. He had unmistakable beach blonde hair.

“Oh, you know my roommate?” Henry finally said something I was interested in. I turned back to him and pointed excitedly. “He’s you’re roommate?”

Henry nodded a little. “Victor,” he added.

I shook my head, running a hand through my loose dark-red tinted hair. “Not yet. Come on,” I grabbed his lanky arm and sooner wished I’d died. My soft hand was met by oily skin. Must wash as soon as possible…

I immediately released him and calmly wiped my hand on his shoulder, playing this sign off as a friendly gesture. I shoved him slightly with my hip for him to introduce me to his roommate who stood only a few feet in front of us with his back turned.

“Victor?” Henry cleared his throat.

Victor turned slowly and smiled just slightly at his roommate and I. “Oh, hey, Henry, what’s up?”

Henry shrugged a little and motioned to me, smiling. “This is Andy.”

I put on my sexy-cute-grin and nodded a little. “Hey.”

He simply laughed shortly. “This the guy you were talking about?” He looked me over, although seemingly speaking to Henry.

What the hell is he laughing at?! I watched him uncertainly, drawing back slightly to get a good look at him. Then I glanced over at Henry who had turned a million shades of red. “Excuse me?” I asked.

Henry shook his head a little, trying to rid himself of embarrassment. “Yeah…”

Oh, shit, Sara told Henry she was going to introduce him to me and he must’ve told Victor we were dating or something.

I had to think quickly to find a way to tell this guy I was available without hurting Henry’s feelings. “I haven’t seen you around,” I noted, avoiding the obvious topic of his previous laugh.

Victor shrugged a little, smirking. “I’ve been… around.”

Thank god… he’s gay. “Yeah, me too. Maybe I’ll see you..?”

“Around…” he added, eyeing me as I grinned and turned away.

Henry followed me closely, looking slightly worried. “What was that?” He looked like a puppy dog about to be shot.

“Just being friendly,” I grumbled.

A few hours later and after successfully ditching Henry where the drinks were located, I headed down towards the elevators, sighing at the recent lift from my shoulders. Henry was no longer at my side nagging me. Now it was just Sara. “Come on,” she pleaded, gasping my shirt in her hand.

I eyed her expectantly, glancing down to where she held my shirt.

She abruptly let go, grasping my arm instead. “Andy, I don’t get it!”

I shrugged. “Oh, calm down, tonight wasn’t a total loss.”

Sara lit up immediately, clasping her hands together in front of her. “Really?! You two get along?”

I laughed in her face. I really did. “No, sweetie, I met his roommate.”

“His roommate?” she scowled. “Couldn’t you just like him?” Her once hazel eyes were burning with a dark glare that threatened my health.

I sighed. “Look at him,” I offered, gesturing towards Victor who stood near a few chairs in the corner.

Sara sighed and turned to where I was motioning, glancing back at me incredulously. “The blonde?”

I smirked. “The blonde.”

Sara grinned slightly. “You always did have rich taste,” she pointed out.

I turned towards her. “What?”

She shrugged and reached around me to hit the elevator button for me. “He’s rich.”

I shook my head. “No. He’s Victor.”

She smirked, shoving me slightly into the elevator behind me. “Victor Connors,” she watched me sympathetically. “The new dean’s son.”

My expression fell as the elevators slowly closed on me, allowing me to realize the full extent of what she had just said to me alone.

“Rise and shine,” my roommate cooed in my ear softly.

I groaned and rolled over in bed, pulling my covers up over my head. “Get away.”

Luke sighed with a smile and proceeded to sit on me. He was convinced that this woke me up. He usually did this every morning and I got up to avoid what came next.

“I’ll lay one on you,” he threatened, pressing down on the bulge that was undoubtedly my head.

“If only you were gay,” I mumbled into my pillow, wriggling beneath him to get up.

“I’ll fart!” he shouted, beginning to bounce atop of me lightly. “I really will!”

You have to know Luke. He appears to be a handsome man in his early twenties, but in actuality he has the mind of a child. A young child who threatens to pass gas on me when I don’t wake up on time.

Although it’s not all my fault. He turns off the alarm as soon as he wakes up. That would be before it goes off. That way, I’m forced to be woken up by the terrible morning habit he has required.

“I feel one,” he laughed, squirming slightly atop of me.

I immediately slipped out of the covers and rolled onto the floor, pulling my pillow down with me. “Go away,” I replied groggily.

“Never!” he shouted, hopping down to the floor with me and straddling my back. “You’re getting one!”

That’s when I was just rescued by my favorite person, as of now. Whomever just knocked will have my gratitude for quite a while.

“I’ll be back for you later,” Luke hissed in my ear, abruptly climbing off of me and heading over to the door. He pulled it open and ran a hand through his short dirty blonde hair, studying the person in front of him. He released the door and let it close almost all the way before heading over to his desk. “Must be for you, Andy, I don’t know the flamer.”

I rolled my eyes and sat up, yawning before pulling myself up to my feet. I headed over to the door, rubbing my eyes along the way. I peeked around the door and blinked a few times. “Yeah?”

“Hi,” Henry said quietly.

My face fell and I simply stared at him through the slit left between the door and the wall.

“You left really quickly last night. I wanted to make sure you were feeling alright.”

I continued to stare at him as I remembered I had ditched him at the drink table. “Hangover,” I replied, yawning again.

“Oh, alright,” he nodded, picking at his fingers slightly. “Maybe I’ll see you in class later?”

I shrugged a little. “Maybe.”

Was I even in this kid’s classes? I couldn’t remember ever seeing him before last night. Maybe he mentioned something last night. I wasn’t paying attention.

I closed the door before he said anything else and turned to see Luke shirtless and smirking at me. “What?” I whined.

“You certainly did get in late last night… were you with that guy?” he almost laughed as he said it. Luke knew I had high standards. There was no way in hell I went near that guy.

I cringed. “Well, I did touch his arm.”

Luke gasped playfully, grabbing a blue towel from over his chair as he headed out the door for a shower.

“Don’t forget those,” I mumbled through another yawn, motioning over towards his disarray of shower products atop his desk.

He nodded and grabbed his shampoo, glancing over at my neat alignment of soaps, shampoos, conditioners, shaving gel, razors, and such. “Freak,” he muttered before heading out.

Excuse me for enjoying being clean and fresh smelling. I took pride in that. I yawned and snuggled back into bed.

“Hey, Andy, party over in Ant’s dorm later.”

“Sup, Andy? You wanna meet up after Professor Morris’ class?”

“Lookin’ good, Andy.”

Ahh, yes, the refreshing sound of being popular. Not to brag, but I barely ever stay in alone at night. Almost everything I can think of to occupy myself with is better passed with company. Movies, clubs, bars, restaurants, sex.

Alright, so I haven’t actually experienced that last one yet, but I came pretty damn close. Problem was… it was with a she.

So, there you have it. I wasn’t always gay. It’s not like the doctor pulled me out from between my mom’s legs nineteen years ago and shouted. “It’s a boy… and he’s gay, Congratulations!”

If only that were how the world worked… Then I wouldn’t have had to go through adolescence as a scared little boy who was afraid of how I felt about members of the same sex. If I’d have known who I’d be attracted to from the beginning, I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes along the way. I wouldn’t have wasted my time chasing girls. And most of all, I could have spared my family from the shock of hearing it from me four years ago.

I suppose this means I’m going to have to explain how my parents took the unsuspecting blow. Alright, well, my mother was in the kitchen. She was one of those typical housewives’ who did every damn thing for the working father.

My dad was reading the TV guide at the kitchen table. He was hunched over his reading glasses and straining his eyes so hard I thought he’d gone blind.

“Mom, dad, I need to tell you something.”

“Hand me a pot, dear,” my mother directed as she stirred the spaghetti.

Dad grumbled something but continued to struggle with the small print.

“This is really important,” I insisted, reluctantly handing my mother a pot from beside the sink.

“Sure honey,” she nodded, multitasking as she so often did.

“No, seriously,” I began to get frustrated. What would you have done in a situation like this? I’m in the midst of my teenage years and I come home from basketball practice after just helping someone undress in the locker room.

“I’m gay!” I shouted abruptly and quickly, stomping my foot as if the news weren’t enough to grasp their attention.

My father slowly looked up, taking his time as he did so. He glared at me from over his glasses, carefully wording his reply. “You… think you’re gay?”

Alright, so he wasn’t screaming, this was the first good sign. He must just be in shock. I shook my head slightly. “I am.”

“No, you’re not,” he replied quickly. “There’s no such thing as being gay.”

My mother continued to stir the pasta, yet at a noticeably reduced speed. She blinked back the tears that began to form as she listened to my father.

“Yes, dad, I’m gay,” I nodded continually, talking a step towards him. I needed so desperately for them to know and accept this. It was such a large part of me that I couldn’t go on hiding it from them.

“Y’are not!” he shouted, banging on the table and ignoring his coffee as it’s contents jumped from the side of the glass to the table and began devouring the TV guide.

“Oh, Harold,” my mother quickly gasped, looking over to my father.

“Shut up, Lily,” he quickly snapped. “You knew didn’t you?”

My mother dropped the wooden spoon into the pot and immediately began to shake her head.

“No, she didn’t know!” I quickly interjected. The last thing I wanted was for him to take it out on my mother.

“I… assumed,” she spoke up quietly, averting her eyes and knotting her hands in front of her.

“Wench,” he mumbled.

My father was an old fashioned man. When he married my mother, he managed to get her to quit her position as a well respected lawyer to stay home and cook and clean for him. I never found out if she did it because she loved him or because she was afraid of him. I assumed now it was the latter.

I turned to my mother and twisted my features slightly. “You knew?” She had let me go through this entire ordeal alone. I was scared and alone and thought there was no one I could turn to, when my own mother already knew.

“I wasn’t sure,” she tried to assure me. “I didn’t want to be right.”

“What’s wrong with being gay?!” I shouted, tears already compiling themselves behind my icy glare.

“It’s disgusting,” my father grumbled, slowly standing from his chair.

“Being attracted to men is disgusting?” I turned to face him.

“You’re disgusting,” he replied.

“Saw you checking out Victor last night at Sara’s,” I heard someone smirk behind me.

I whirled around to face Ian. “Oh, hey,” I shrugged a little, separating myself from my memories. “I don’t remember ever seeing him before.”

Ian nodded slightly, running his hand through his dark brown hair in the heat outside the English department. I noticed this week there were some purple streaks. “Mr. Conner’s just brought him in.”

I shifted my messenger bag against my side and shrugged, squinting slightly from the sun. “What for?”

Ian ignored the nagging weight of his textbooks cradled in his arm. “Seems Victor was getting into some trouble in school, and dad wanted to keep an eye on him,” he smirked.

I grinned slightly. “Well, what’s the word?” I focused on Ian’s constant fidgeting and began to grow impatient.

“You mean is he gay or not?” Ian asked.

I sighed. “Well, yeah.” Ian’s not that sharp.

Ian nodded, grinning as well. “Oh, yeah.”

I could barely contain my excitement and I began bouncing slightly on my feet, yearning to know more about him. “He with anyone?”

Ian shrugged a little, causing both our excitement to subside. “Haven’t found out yet.”

Ian was gay, too. He was one of my closest friends. Just friends. There was never anything between us. We just didn’t feel anything towards each other in that sense. No chemistry. Then again, he was a biology major…

“That about wraps it up. Just finish up the assignment and have it on my desk by Monday,” Mr. Morris instructed, signaling the end of class for the day.

“That was real interesting,” Lucy commented, rolling her eyes as she tucked her notebook away.

I shrugged, positioning my messenger bag against my side perfectly. I actually enjoy Literature class. “Maxine’s short story was pretty good,” I pointed out.

“That fantasy freak?” she sighed, running a hand through her long strawberry hair and eyeing me uncertainly.

“She’s got good ideas,” I sighed, becoming slightly defensive. Why did she have to offend everyone? Just because Lucy had no talent whatsoever, she felt she had to insult everyone else’s? Not logical. “Maybe you just don’t like English class,” I offered with a slight shake of my head as I began heading towards the door.

“What’s with you?” she raised a brow, heading after me with a hand on her hip and a confidant sway to follow.

I sighed and slowed to a stop just outside the classroom, turning to face her. “You don’t have to diss everyone like that. They’re really trying in there and I think they’re doing great. You’ve never even completed one assignment. You have no idea how difficult it is.”

She allowed the door to shut on a student behind her, eyeing me incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding,” she smirked.

I eyed her tiredly, crossing my arms loosely in front of me. “Why don’t you do the assignment that’s due Monday? Just try it.”

Lucy rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Forget you,” she mumbled, pushing past me and heading down the hall alone.

“Bitch,” I heard someone mumble behind me.

I slowly turned around with a sigh, “My thoughts exactly.”

“You really friend’s with her?” Victor asked.

I turned to see him leaning against the water fountain with a bag slung across his back. I guess you could say I was surprised. Shocked, was more like it. I grinned a little at the sight of him, unaware he had asked me a question.

“…your girlfriend?” he asked after my silence. I probably shouldn’t have grinned.

“Oh, no, I’m gay,” I laughed shortly. It was blatantly obvious to everyone and almost funny when someone assumed differently.

He nodded slightly, grinning a little as my features lit up.

“I didn’t know the dean’s son had to study,” I gestured towards his bag with a nod.

He sighed. “Looks like there’s no such thing as a secret around here,” his dark blue eyes softened as a small smile crept up on his face.

I smiled, shaking my head in response.

“Let’s go,” a voice called from behind Victor.

He turned and I glanced around to see who the voice belonged to. It was a junior named Paul who was well known around campus. Unfortunately straight.

“What year are you?” I brought Victor’s attention back to me as I casually fixed my hair.

“Junior,” he replied, turning and pointing over his shoulder at Paul. “Gotta run.”

I smiled a little and nodded, waving as he backed away.

Not only was he gorgeous, perfect, amazing, and rich… he was older.

I quickly threw the door to my dorm room open and tossed my bag on my bed, almost leaping over to Luke as he sat at his computer. “Whatcha’ doing?” I asked innocently, leaning my elbows on his shoulders and peering over at the screen.

“Lookin’ at porn,” he shouted over his headphones, correcting himself seconds later, “Straight porn!”

I made a slightly disgusted and uninterested face as a site popped onto the monitor. “Wonderful,” I muttered, slipping away and lying on my stomach on his bed, watching him closely.

“What do you want?” he sighed before pulling his headphone’s off his ears and glaring over at me.

“Information,” I smiled sweetly, propping my chin up on my interlaced hands pressed against his distasteful plaid comforter.

He eyed me expectantly. “About what?”

“It’s a who,” I corrected him, shifting to sit up on his bed Indian style.

“Who?” he asked impatiently, rolling his eyes and leaning back against his wicker computer chair.

I sighed a little dreamily, hunching slightly towards him. “Victor Connors.”

Luke laughed shortly, shaking his head slightly. “The dean’s son.”

I sighed. “I know that part, gimme something else.”

“Why me?” he asked, knowing I rarely even talk to him about anything having to do with my personal life.

“You’re a junior…” I pointed out. “He’s a junior…”

Luke shook his head, returning to the screen for a moment. “Just because we’re both junior’s doesn’t mean we have some sort of info link for gay fan clubs.”

I gave him an unamused glare. “Not funny, Luke.”

He shrugged, smirking lightly as another web site appeared.

“Going out again?” Luke smirked, peering over at me from a magazine he held long-ways.

“Reading porn again?” I rolled my eyes. This had to be his favorite hobby.

He shrugged in response. “Is the sky blue?”

I grunted slightly, smoothing over my appearance in the mirror. “Is the grass green?”

“Not when it’s dead,” he replied.

I turned towards him slightly, raising a brow and sighing. “You’re so odd.”

“And you’re so queer,” he stuck out his tongue, folding up his magazine.

I laughed shortly, running a hand through my hair as I grabbed my wallet from my desk. “You gonna be in tonight?” I asked.

He yawned a little. “Most likely.”

I nodded, giving myself another look over in the mirror.

“Would you go already?!” He laughed. “You’re worse than a girl!”

I smiled and nodded. I really was. My dark blue denim jacket was perfect over a navy blue tight baby-t-shirt along with my black pants. Glancing over at Luke I smiled, taking note of the time. It was still early. Just about eleven.

I knocked a few times on Sara’s door and sighed, glancing down the hall as a few girls headed towards the bathroom.

There’s something you don’t see everyday. That would be sarcasm. Why the hell do girls travel in pairs. I’m gay, people tell me I’m supposed to act like a girl or something. Surprisingly, I’m not offended by that. I admire girls. They can change their look so dramatically every time they feel like it. Change of hair, change of makeup, change of clothes. Guys have it rough. If we want a change. It’s gonna be clothing. I’d probably get sent to therapy if I tried using makeup. I experimented at a truth or dare party in high school, but nothing further. It just wasn’t for me. I have naturally delicate skin. No makeup needed.

So, back to the bathroom thing. I don’t see the point in going to the bathroom with people of the same sex. A bunch of gay guys going together is called an orgy. A bunch of straight guys… that’s just weird. And girls? Girls never go alone. They’re always with someone.

“What do you think?” Sara asked, leaning in the doorway to reveal her latest outfit. It was very… school-girlish. Her dark brown hair was held back gently by a yellow ribbon and her curls rested gently on a small yellow tank top. Beneath that was a red plaid skirt.

“Cute,” I smiled. She always looked cute. Behind her I caught a glimpse of Ian who had probably just shown up. He was wearing those khaki ‘guy-shorts’ that are down to the calf. And above that was a green t-shirt. I don’t understand how he expects people to know he’s gay. He really has no sense of style.

“Yo,” he called to me, placing one of Sara’s body splashes back down on her dresser. He walked over and smiled, unfortunately proving that he had tested a few of her perfumes.

“What’d you do, dump them all out on you?” Sara rolled her eyes, grabbing my arm and pulling me out into the hall. “Let’s go!”

I quickly followed, allowing her to release me. “Hey,” I called over my shoulder to Ian who followed shortly with a small skip in his step.

“Where exactly are we going?” I asked, tucking my hands into my pockets and carefully studying any male students we passed with a smirk.

I believe Ian was trying to copy me, because he continually bumped into me and made odd noises as he grinned at passing guys.

“A party,” Sara easily dismissed the question as she rounded the corner to the stairs and pulled the door open.

“Where?” I asked, raising a brow and holding the door open slightly behind me for Ian to catch. He probably would have walked right into it if I hadn’t done that. “And why’re we taking the stairs.”

Sara began descending the stairs and shrugged a little. “It’s in one of the foreigners.”

Ah, yes, the foreign rooms. These obtained their names for being so far from the elevators. They went from being ‘the far rooms’ to ‘the foreigners’.

“Who the hell’s having a party in one of those?” This was odd. The rooms were usually a little larger in size, holding four students instead of two, but they were normally given to honors students. Those are the really smart kids who go to college to study. What losers.

“Which one?” Ian asked.

Wonderful, Ian was with us. He was partaking in the conversation. He must have finally come back to earth. “No clue,” I mumbled.

“I think it’s this floor,” Sara gestured towards the sign above the door reading the number three. She pulled the door open and was greeted by waves of sound and a thumping bass flowing from an open door, crowded by a couple guys.

This should be fun. I smirked, turning to Sara. “Whos party did you say this was?”

We stepped out of the stairwell into the hall and Sara grinned at me. “Victor’s.”

Ian stepped forward, grasping Sara’s upper arm. “Victor Connors?!” he squealed. “That’s the dean’s son!”

No shit, Sherlock. “Really?” I tried to suppress my grin as I glanced over to the door. Anthony and Paul were standing guard. “Uhh, Sara?”

Sara turned away from Ian and raised her brows. “Yeah?”

“How the fuck are we supposed to get in there?” I mumbled, using my thumb to indicate very well known friends of Victors.

Sara bit her bottom lip and shrugged a little. “I didn’t really think about that…”

Ian slowly released her arm and went back to his quiet self, staring longingly at the door.

I was so close. I couldn’t let this opportunity get by. I was going in.

“Let’s go,” I sighed, heading over to the door.

“What?!” Ian and Sara gawked in unison, reluctantly following behind me. We stopped at the door, behind the two juniors.

“Excuse me,” I tried to sound normal. Like a guy. Like a tough guy who just wanted them to casually move aside and let me by. Nothing big. Nothing to draw attention. Something that might suggest I was previously inside, but left to retrieve something before returning. That’s what I put into those two words.

Paul and Anthony turned together and raised their brows down at the three of us. “Yeah?” Paul grunted.

“Just here for the party,” I shrugged, trying to steal a glance in behind them.

The two bouncers exchanged glances. There was no way in hell they were gonna let us in. We weren’t popular. We weren’t known. Wasn’t college supposed to be different from high school?

“Password,” Anthony smirked, crossing his arms over his well built chest.

“Pass-?” Paul grinned, stopping himself and glancing down at us. “Yeah, password.”

Well, that was blatantly obvious. There was no fucking password. We just weren’t allowed in the damn party.

“Victor’s party?” Ian shrugged a little, smiling faintly at his attempts.

Someone take him out back and shoot him. I just dropped my head to my chest and sighed, shaking my head slightly. “Let’s go,” I mumbled aside to Sara.

Sara continued to stare hopelessly past the two guys and into the room. She had brought me here and caused me false hope. This forgiveness would take time.