“Merk, what’s going on?” Asked Jeff as a sakura pink Jeep parked up outside the house, squashing several geeks in the process.

“It’s Great Aunt Akana.” Merk shuddered at the name. “Three rules. One, don’t speak unless you are spoken to. Two, Don’t breathe too loudly, and three, never, ever talk about anime or Manga”

“Why?”

“Shut up! She’s coming!” Merk started to back slowly up the stairs. Katsuhito dragged himself out from under the stairs and tidied his hair. Jeff just stared at the grey haired, pink kimono-wearing woman that was striding towards the door.

“He.... Hello Akana...Sama?” Jeff stuttered. Merk began mouthing rule one! Rule one! To him, and he promptly stopped talking.

“KATSUHITO!”

“Yes, Aunt Akana?” Katsuhito replied, trembling.

“Who is this?” Akana asked, pointing to Jeff, who stepped back a few feet. “Is this Takeshi? No. It isn’t. Just when he started to be interesting, you went and traded him for a Gaijin!”

“Aunt Akana, this is Jeff Hawk. He’s a transfer student from England, and it was Takeshi’s idea to transfer, not mine...”

“What was that?” Aunt Akana leaned closer to Katsuhito, her face getting redder.

“He’s a useless Gaijin. That’s all. I thought it would be good for Takeshi to visit another country for a few months.” He mumbled, trying to get on Akana’s good side; if she had one.

“Stop trying to suck up.”

Meanwhile, Yamada pushed through the remaining crowd of geeks in his newly acquired Hard Suit and walked to the open door.

“Excuse me, madam, but this is my protest. If you would leave before the two minutes it takes for my laser to charge ends, I would appreciate it. It would also save you from being blown to smithereens along with the house and everyone inside.” Yamada said, very politely.

Akana turned slowly to face Yamada. She frowned. “Hibiki Yamada! I might have known.”

Yamada was startled to see his old teacher glaring at him from the Kyota house. “Miss Sakura! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were here.... Please don’t hurt me...”

“I won’t do anything to you, as long as you leave and give me that essay that was due in 12 years ago.”

“I’ll have a look for it, I think it got thrown out.... But I’ll have a look. Will you tell Mer....Mikoto that I’ll come over next week instead?”

“Yes”

“Thank you.” Yamada slowly walked back to his remaining army and muttered something about destruction before walking away.

At that moment, Jeff realised something. “Hey, Merk” He whispered. “ I thought your dad was at work.”

“Me too. I wonder how he got home before us noticing... Maybe he just didn’t leave this morning....”

* * * *

“Would you like another drink, Miss Akana?” Jeff asked while carrying empty glasses to the kitchen.

“No, Gaijin.”

Jeff mumbled something about prunes in kimonos and began to help Merk with the food. Merk was attempting to slice a very small fish into even smaller pieces, and, well, she wasn’t doing a good job of it. There were fish slices stuck to the walls and somehow, the ceiling.

“This is hopeless, big brother! Aunt prune-face will kill me!”

“Mikoto! I heard that!”

“I see your point, Merk. There must be an easier way to do this.... Like a solar powered sushi slicer? ” Jeff started to look through cupboards and draws, searching for this made up invention.

At that moment, Katsuhito decided he would help with the food. He dragged a large box from under the stairs and plonked it on the kitchen table.

“If you’re having trouble, you can use this. It’s an automatic solar powered sushi slicer that can also be plugged in. Be careful, though, it’s just a prototype.”

“Mr Kyota” Jeff asked, “I thought you went to work this morning. How...Why are you here?”

“Good question.” He answered. “I did go to work this morning, but I got lost and came back. Then I lost the key and had to climb in through a window, but before that, I cleverly disabled the security system using a paper clip and a Biro.”

Merk edged closer to Jeff and said “if this were an anime, I’d face-fault and fall over right now....”

“Anime! Who said anime!?” Aunt Akana was on the warpath.

“And I’d sweatdrop right now.” Merk added.

“ No one said anime, Aunt Akana,” Katsuhito yelled to the living room; “we were talking about Mikoto’s friend from school, Anna-May.”

“I don’t believe that for a second!”

Katsuhito returned to the living room to calm Akana down, leaving Merk and Jeff to work out how to use the automatic solar powered sushi slicer that can also be plugged in. Merk inspected the box, and noticed that the automatic solar powered sushi slicer that can also be plugged in was inside it.

“Help me lift it out, Big brother!”

Jeff lifted the box off the table, and the ‘A-S-P-S-S-T-C-A-B-P-I’ fell out the bottom. Luckily, it didn’t break.

“Do ya think its ok, big brother?” Asked Merk.

“I hope so... Let’s try it anyway.” Jeff lifted the slightly scratched sushi slicer back onto the table. “Bring the stuff over here.”

“Ok, now what?”

“I think you have to put the food in somehow....”

Merk searched the Sushi Slicer and found a slot marked ‘RICE’, another marked ‘FISH’ and another marked ‘EVERYTHING ELSE’.

“I think you have to put the stuff in the right place or something.” She said, pouring random ingredients into the machine. “And then you press this button.”

Jeff looked where Merk was pointing. There was a large red button labelled ‘PRESS ME’ He reached down and pressed it. The machine made a buzzing sound and Soy Sauce squirted out of the top.

“That can’t be good....”

He was right. It wasn’t. The automatic solar powered sushi slicer that can also be plugged in exploded in a way only sushi could. Rice was sent shooting through the door, followed by fish splattering on the ceiling and ‘everything else’ making a sticky mess on the floor.

* * * *

“Mikoto! Gaijin! Look at this mess! I am covered in half prepared sushi! This is the worst visit by far! Even worse than the time your mother ran off with the bleach salesman!” Aunt Akana was turning purple.

Jeff could feel Merk digging her nails into his arm. It was probably his fault for dropping the ‘automatic solar powered sushi slicer that can also be plugged in’ in the first place. Things like this always happened to him. First he was left at the airport, then he had to hitchhike to Merk’s house, then he got food poisoning off something, almost got arrested and finally, he was chased by an angry mob. At least it couldn’t get worse.

Katsuhito butted in. “Aunt Akana, what if I send the AI helper unit to get some food for us? It would be a lot quicker and less messy.”

Akana paused for a moment. “I suppose...but don’t get anything from the Happy Noodle.”

“You heard her Nintendo, go get ‘em!” Merk ordered.

+YES, MISS KYOTA+

“Well then, where were we? Ah yes...Sushi, Gaijin! Sushi!....”

* * * *

Merk looked at her watch, then at the window. “Shouldn’t Nintendo be back by now? She’s been gone nearly...Oh! Here she is.”

Nintendo was scooting up the driveway, carrying two bags with ‘Happy Noodle’ written on the side. She didn’t stop at the door; instead she jumped through the window and landed on the table, showering everyone in the room with shards of glass. Nintendo climbed off the table and proudly handed the carrier bags to Akana.

“Happy Noodle. Happy Noodle! Are you dense or defective? I specifically told you not to go to the Happy Noodle.... Never mind. I’ll wait until the morning for decent food. Gaijin, I’ll be sleeping Takeshi’s room, so you can sleep in Mikoto’s.”

“Do you want me to tidy up a bit first?”

“No, Gaijin. You’ve spoilt my day enough already.”

* * * *

Jeff was lying on the floor thinking about how bad the day had been when he remembered something...

“Merk! Merk, wake up!”

“Wha.....?” Merk sat up and rubbed her eye.

“You know that Don...Doudin.... Perverted fan Manga I saw in the Comiket?”

“Yeah.... What about it?”

“Well...”Jeff looked ashamed. “I was in such a hurry to get out of there, I forgot to put it back.”

“You what!?”

“I hid it under Takeshi’s bed. I didn’t want to throw it out in case someone saw it. What if she finds it? It‘s nearly 8:30, she‘s gonna wake up soon....”

Merk thought for a moment. “Well, she doesn’t usually snoop around, so you should be ok.”

On the other side of the wall, Aunt Akana was just waking up. She had knocked her glasses onto the floor and was now searching for them.

But what she found wasn’t her glasses.

“GAIJIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MANGA!?”

--------------------

1] Sorry about the delay, our computer kept catching viruses. Boo!

2] I lost my stride about half way through. Sorry about that too.

3] Don’t forget to check the Dj site .com

4]Please C&C! I’m still here and I’m still writing ^_^

5]I started writing another story, but when my computer crashed I lost it all. The first chapter is in my account if you want to read it ^_^