A Silly Little Wish

I dream every night

Of heroes

Of love

Of beauty

My knight in shining armor

I dream of bravery

Swordfights

Wizard duels

Noble causes

And places where someone always

Finds time

To save the day.

I want to taste these things so much

That I’m numb

Like a rag doll shot up with Novocain

Pulled and pushed in all directions

Trying not to care what happens next.

The silly little rag doll that I am,

I believed everyone who told me

I’m weak

I’m stupid

I’m ugly

I’m worthless

I believed every single word.

I believed it so religiously

That I won’t even leave my house

Unless I absolutely have to.

I spend my days alone

Staring at a box full of pictures

And I watch others fulfill their dreams

And I feel for a moment

Unconditional happiness

Because I think, “maybe that’s me.”

But it’s only a silly wish

To try and change my past

And oh god, how I wish I could.

Boy it’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, hasn’t it? Yeah, well. My life has become somewhat bland, therefore less stressful, ergo less poems to spew out. But anyway… Is anyone else ready for summer to end? My god, I’ve never thought I’d say this, but… I really can’t wait until school starts again. =*/ Uhmm… Anyway, about the poem. I wrote it at a turning point in my life (two days ago), when I actually started thinking about what I wanted to major in whilst in college (I’m going to be a high school senior next year). So yeah. Things are obviously going a little slowly and painfully. You know, I really should just stop before this turns into a journal entry. Oh yeah, and please review before you leave! =)

-QueSeraSera