Sim-U-Life

Everyday was as cheerless and monotonous as the last. Everyday the same dreary routine. Except on Sunday which was Edna's day off. They were unbearable. Her live in boyfriend Earl had the whole day to drink.

Everything about Edna's's life was bleak. She had a miserable job at a mail distribution warehouse. All day long she stood at a terminal in a dusty unairconditioned warehouse and scanned little packages of mail. That was the first eight hours. For the last two hours of the work day, Edna was put on the floor with the mail sorters stuffing the mail in their proper three digit bags. After that was done, she had to help drop the heavy bags and rehang and tag new ones in their place.

At 45 years of age, meeting the hourly quota on the scan and struggling with the bags at the end of the shift always left her feeling drained. It wouldn't have been so bad, if it were only the job that sucked.

Edna's life had been nothing but a bunch of really stupid mistakes. One bad choice after another, until she was neck deep in mediocrcey.

At home Earl made sure that any laughter, anything fun, and any other such foolishness were banished from their trailer. Edna's job was to fetch the beers and to sit obediently at Earl's side like a faithful dog while he mindlessly watched reruns on the new TNN channel.

Edna would have been allowed to clean house, but any more she let the chores slide. She stopped caring about how she looked long ago. No one really noticed her much except Earl. When ever Edna did put on a little lipstick or make the extra effort to look nice, Earl would remark.

"Ya can't polish a turd, Edna. Now quit foolin' around and git me another beer."

Edna had never been a beauty queen, but in her youth she had an average face and a decent figure. She was never real smart (or she would have made all the right choices) but long ago she had a variety of interests and hobbies to make life interesting.

She used to enjoy video games, collecting old toys and antiques, reading, writing, old TV shows and movies, gardening, cooking, and various types of needle work . She liked to laugh even if it were just over silly things.

Earl disapproved of all of those things, calling them all a waste of time and money. His hobbies were simple, drinking beer, watching TV, and pornography.

The video game system and most of Edna's doll & toy collection had long been sold to help cover the costs of living with Earl. He had lost his job at the plastics plant several years ago. He found the occasional odd job or two, but on the whole decided he wasn't going to hold down a steady job ever again. There was also the many repairs on their old clunker car and the three 12 packs of beer and 5 packs of cigarettes a day that Earl existed on to pay for. Earl totally dominated the TV so Edna never got a chance to watch anything she liked. Early in the relationship, Earl discouraged and critized her other hobbies so much that Edna lost all confidence in herself and let them go one by one. Unlike anyone else Edna could not even enjoy eating or preparing meals because Earl drank so much. He was never hungry. Everything she made was pronounced 'crap'. It was easier just to pop in a couple of tv dinners when Earl did decide to eat and make herself a bowl of cereal or a sandwich when he didn't.

Edna still had kind heart. She loved both cats and dogs. Her only source of joy was her fluffy white cat named Baby. Edna also set out food for the many stray cats that lived in the trailer park. Two of them had become quite friendly and slept on her front porch.

"Damn cats." Earl would mutter before taking a healthy draught of his Old Milwaukee.

"I oughta take my BB gun to 'em. As for Baby. "All that damn cat does is shed, eat, n' sleep. You give me another look like that Edna, I'll take that cat of yer'uns on a nice long ride. (He usually lifted the bottle to his lips and swallowed before continuing.) Iff'n I don't just shoot her with my BB gun."

Luckily, Earl was mostly all just talk. He could be mean and surly to Edna and her cats because he felt they were weak and under his power. Earl was scared (though he talked a good game) of other men and anyone who was bigger or more forceful than him.

When Edna first discovered Earl wasn't the Prince Charming he pretended to be, she had wanted to leave. In the beginning Earl would cry and beg her to stay.

"I'll change!" he'd sob. "I'll give my wife a divorce. (Edna didn't know he was still married until she had moved in.) I'll quit drinkin'. I'll buy ya a ring. I'll do anything! Just don't leave me."

Edna loved him then. She and Earl met when she was working as a waitress at a truck stop diner. Back then, twenty years ago, Edna had been full of hope. She had just had her marriage to another piece of bad news annulled, she had a small apartment in an old house and a fifty dollar car that wasn't pretty to look at, but dependable. With her sweet personality she was making so much in tips, that she thought she could go to school. Edna wanted to take course in creative writing and to learn to use a computer.

Earl had swept Edna off her feet in ways she'd only read about in the romance novels. Earl was ten years older. He was handsome with bright blue eyes and dark good looks. He showered her with flowers and candy. Back then Earl enjoyed going out to movies and dinner. He'd even taught Edna how to two step. In three months time, Earl got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. He told her he couldn't afford a ring right off, but would get her the best money could buy later. He also pressured her to move in right away. They were going to be together forever, he claimed, and it would make things so much easier.

Edna ignored the small warning voices in her head and moved in. Almost right away, Earl insisted she give up her job. He didn't like the fact that she was dealing with the public and her waitress uniform was so short. He talked his sister into getting Edna the job at the mail processing plant.

The flowers and gifts immediately stopped. Earl didn't feel he had to take her out anymore once she moved in. Edna also discovered to her dismay that Earl did not celebrate holidays or allow Edna to decorate the trailer for Christmas. The only thing they did was go to his brother's home on Christmas Eve and have dinner with his family. It hurt to be in Earl's brother's fine house with it's huge tree. Earl's family looked down on Edna. When it came time to exchange gifts, the only present she received was dish towels from Earl's mother. Edna never did get that ring Earl promised or any gift ever again. Not even on birthdays.

Years into the relationship Edna realised that nothing was going to change. Earl had no intention of divorcing his wife, his drinking was getting worse, and he became more and more mentally and verbally abusive as time wore on. He also started cheating on her with a woman who worked at the plastics factory.

Earl stopped crying when Edna tried to leave. He'd convince her it was all her fault. He'd actually make her feel guilty and believe she were to blame for their problems. Edna would promise to change and determine to try harder.

One day after Earl was fired for drinking on the job and his womanizing ways, Edna decided it was time to go. She packed up what was left of her things and was going to leave Earl for good. She no longer loved him and it was obvious he had another woman to take her place. He wouldn't miss her.

"Wat'cha doin' there, Edna?" Earl and his beer had appeared in the doorway.

Edna had shut her suitcase. She realised sadly, that all she owned anymore were a few bits of clothing, nothing new, and almost all yard sale bargains.

"I'm leaving you, Earl. I just don't love you anymore. You don't love me. You have other interests now. It's best I go."

"Is that right?" a slow evil grin spread over Earl's face. He took another fortifying swallow of his beer. "Just where is it ya think yer gonna go? How far do ya think that check in yer pocket's gonna git ya? Huh? Ya don't make squat on yer own. How ya gonna git there? Huh, Dumb Ass? Ya think I'm gonna drive ya? That's MY car that sits in the driveway. Ya ain't got a car Edna. Ya ain't got squat."

Edna had brushed past him to get the kitty carrier. She had thought she would appeal to one of her sister's for help. Earl's words were weakening her resolve. Earl had kept Edna isolated from her family for years. When Edna did get to visit, her sisters were kind, but she did not feel she fit into their lives anymore. They had all made the right choices. All her sister's had careers that fulfilled them, they and their spouses made good money, they all owned nice houses, and each sister had a car of her own. They had money saved up in the bank and children to care for.

Her sisters could also afford nice new clothes and shop for what ever they wanted. Edna always felt like a bit of a poor relation around them. The thought of going to any of them now shamed her.

Earl had seen her falter and pounced.

"Ya think any of them snooty sisters of yer'uns wants ya around? Ya think they're gonna be glad ta see yer shabby old ass on their doorstep? I don't think so. Got any friend's at work gonna take ya in Edna? Ya got a boyfriend?"

Edna had shuddered at the last statement. When she got rid of Earl, she'd never so much as look at another man. She was obviously such a poor judge of character she'd be safer that way.

"Were ya plannin' on taken this?" Earl had grabbed Baby before Edna could. "I kin ring her neck in a second. Want me ta kill 'er, Edna? It'd be all yer fault if'n I did."

"Please put her down." Edna was afraid he really would kill her sweet harmless kitten.

"First, ya listen to me." Earl kept his hand around the terrified Baby's neck. "Yer jus' mad 'cuz ya've bin hav'in ta support me since I lost my job. Ain't that it, Edna. Now that I ain't makin' the big bucks, ya don't want to stick aroun' any more, do ya? Ya kin take the good times an' not the bad."

"What good times?" Edna had yelled at him. "There haven't been good times in this trailer for damn near twenty years. I should have left you long before now!"

She screamed when Earl tightened his grip on the kitten. The kitten yelped.

"Earl, please no!"

"I said listen you dumb bitch. Iff'n I do kill this cat, it'll be on yer head, got me?"

Whimpering, Edna nodded.

"I don't know where ya think ya can go. Ain't nobody wants a loser like ya. Ya ain't got a friend in this world, 'cept fer me. Ya don't make jack at that grimy little job of yer'uns. I made three times that when I worked, din't I Edna? I said din't I, Edna."

Tears blurring her vision, Edna nodded woodenly.

"Seems ta me ya lived off'n me all these years. I din't need yer pithily ass pay check back then. Look around ya, bitch. Everything ya see is owned by me. In my name. Had most of it before I met yer sorry ass. I control the money. The checkin' account has always been in my name. The car's in my name. Ya leave and ya don't have a damn thing. Ya can't get a better job. Ya can't do squat 'cuz yer too old and stupid."

The kitten twisting to free herself, clawed Earl in the face. Earl dropped her and howled.

"Damn ya! Ya no good flea bag!"

He grabbed Edna by her throat and pulled her to him. His stinky beer breath making her sick. Baby scurried to safety under the sofa.

"Did ya see what yer stupid cat did?"

He slapped her face. It had been the first time he hit her. He looked shocked for a moment, then began to batter her with more slaps.

"Ya think yer any prize ya dumb ass cow? Think ya any better than me ya stupid worthless piece of.." he shoved her down on the floor. Edna cowered, wishing she could just vanish into thin air. Earl was right. No matter what his faults, if she wasn't such a miserable excuse for a human being, she wouldn't be in this mess. Hearing that she was stupid, worthless, clumsy, ugly, etc, by Earl, his family, and her catty co-workers on a daily basis all these years made her start to believe it.

"Yer an embarrassment ta me! I kin git better'n ya. I kin do as I like. Ya got another thing comin' iff'n ya think yer gonna jus' waltz on outta here. No sir! I didn't work all them years and put up with all yer bullshit ta have it end like this! Ya ain't walkin' out on me! I own this place ya called home all these years and I own ya! That's right, yer my property! Ya ain't much. Damn near useless, but ya belong ta me."

He lifted her up off her feet by her hair.

"I made a bad investment when I 'lowed ya ta move in. Bin nothin' but a big pain in my back side. Seems ta me I bin doing all the work on this end and ya done nothin' worthwhile until now. Well, boo-hoo-hoo! 'Bout time ya start earnin' yer keep aroun' here! Ya sure as hell ain't gave me none in awhile."

Edna had no desire to allow Earl to touch her after she found out about the really low class shanks he liked to fool around with.

"You have someone else." Edna sobbed. "We don't love each other anymore."

"Ya shut up Edna!" Earl was in a sudden rage. Edna thought she'd get slapped again, but she was shaken instead. "That ain't none of yer concern there. All ya need ta know is that it's over. Ya women ain't nuthin' but a bunch a coniviving low life bloodsuckers! I hate ya all!"

After that incident, Earl decided that Edna could never again be trusted to drive the car. He started driving her to work and was there waiting to pick her up. Edna only went grocery shopping when she absolutely had to because Earl was always drunk. He never drove anywhere without a six pack and if she said anything about his driving, Earl purposely drove recklessly to scare her.

Life was certainly bleak for Edna.

The hot summer months slowly turned into fall. Fall eventually turned into winter.

Edna didn't know if it were on account of the hot miserable conditions at work, the fact that she was growing older, or just plain depression that made her feel so tired. Not only tired, but she hurt. She would have loved to see a doctor, but she was still considered Temporary-Part time on her job. Temporary-Part time help was a title that kept the company she worked at from having to provide benefits. This was regardless of how many hours actually worked or how many years were put in. It also gave them the right to terminate the job anytime they felt like.

Earl had no patience for her complaints. His health and dental care were provided by his mother if he should need it.

"There ain't nuthin' wrong with ya, woman. It's all in yer head. Ya can't afford a day off."

Something, some inner force, kept Edna going, day in and day out, In spite of the pain, the weariness, the utter misery.

Once winter arrived, the Christmas season came swiftly. Too swiftly.

Little did Edna realise that changes were just around the corner.