A/N: ' Ok, so... this is the sequel to 'Trapped Inside Pain'. Same two, unnamed, un... uh... created (as of yet) boys. It's actually more fun that way... Anyways, more angst- uberangst- and it's rather short. In the first one, it was implied that they weren't together anymore and in this one, they aren't. I'm kinda curious if anyone will figure out what happened before the end... :cough: Same POV as the first.

Warnings: Yaoi/Slash, language, much angst, POV, and very short.

Just Stop

by Kat-chan

I realize now what I mistake I made. I fucked up, and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I hurt you more than I ever wanted to. Because, God, I never wanted to hurt you... I there was anything I could do- anything at all- I'd take away your pain. But I can't do that. As much as I wish I could... I can't.

I hope you don't think that it was your fault. It wasn't. If you ever did anything wrong... it was loving me in the first place. I didn't deserve you. I was so selfish, and in the end, I... I made you cry. And now, I can only watch from a distance as you try to move on. I can't even make that easier for you. I'm so pathetic.

And no one else sees it. They don't notice how hollow your smile's become, how empty your eyes are. They don't see you, at the end of the day, when you shut yourself up in your room and cry your silent tears. They don't see your fists, balled up so tightly that your palms bleed, as you try not to scream. They don't see you bury your face in your pillow, wet with fresh tears, quietly asking 'why?'. They just don't see.

But even if they did see... you wouldn't let them help. If they asked you what was wrong, you'd just smile that hollow smile and tell them... 'nothing'. Why? Why can't you just forget. Forget about me, about all the pain I've caused, about all the tears you've shed... Why can't you just forget. As much as it would hurt me, I'd rather you did. I'd trade your pain for my own anytime.

If I could only have that night back. Just that one. Fucking. Night. If I'd realized then how much I would hurt you, I'd never have done it. But it's too late. I can't go back. I can't fix it. I can't make your tears stop. I just... I can't. I fucking can't.

I was such an idiot. Fuck, I was such an idiot. I just wanted to... to get away. I was so tired... So... tired. It was like a curse. I slept, and slept, and slept... but I was still always so tired. Tired of my parents, of my friends... of... life. But never of you. God, I could never get tired of you. Even when I couldn't stand you. When you stopped me from hurting myself, and I was so pissed at you because I needed to... I didn't want you not to. You loved me enough to try and help.

But... I was beyond help. Beyond hope. It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. It wasn't because you didn't love me enough, because you didn't try hard enough... You loved me more than anyone ever did. More than my own fucking parents. And it wasn't because I didn't love you, either. I loved you so much it hurt. I still love you. Jesus Christ, I love you so fucking much...

Which is why I want you to forget. Because then, your pain will go away. Because I can't take that night back, and I can't kiss away your tears. So just... stop. Stop remembering the nights, when I used to sneak in through your window... and the mornings, when I'd sneak back out. Stop remembering that last kiss... That last touch. Just stop.

Stop going to the park, to sit under the tree with the initials carved into it. Stop going to that little, out of the way cafe that I always loved. Stop staring at that goddamned piece of stone with my name etched onto it. Stop putting the red roses there.

Stop...

Stop saying that you'll see me soon. You don't want to see me. I don't look the way you remember me- the way I looked, lying there in that casket, when you laid that final kiss on my cold lips... when your tears fell on my pale cheek. I look... like I looked that night- that stupid fucking night- in the bathtub filled with crimson water. I'm... I'm glad you can't see me. I wouldn't want you to see me like this.

So please... stop. I've never asked for anything from you- I never asked for you to love me, for you to cry over me. Just do me this one favor and stop...

Just...

Stop...

Stop bleeding.

owari

... Yup. That's it. I think there might be more of those to write... Prequels, sequels, all that. Eh, whatever. Review now... K?