Disclaimer: A sequel to Return to Innocence: Devotion. This story includes mush between two males, though nothing concrete, some fighting, and good old fashioned racism - indeed, racism, not speciesism. How they can tell, I don't know.

Characters are original, but if you wanna use them for any reason at all, I'd be bursting with glee if you told me about it. C'mon, you know you wanna see me fall victim to a full body explosion. Take a peek at the RtI: Devotion if you want links to character art. The song Vesper's singing is Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication, for the curious.

Return to Innocence
Episode 2: Emotion

"It's the edge of the world and all of western civilization..."

Imite sighed as he walked down the street. A few months had passed since the incident with Slat. He never bothered reporting anything to the police; afterall, it was his and Vesper's word against the cricket's, who was the only one that might retain any evidence that the encounter ever happened - in the form of scars from Vesper's claws.

"The sun may rise in the east, at least it settles in a final location..."

Over the weeks, winter had slowly set in, or at least, what passed for winter in the Southern Californian district. Imite blew at his bangs as he looked around; it didn't feel like fall, much less winter. Not the fall and winter he remembered, at least. The middle of December, and it was a mild sixty degrees - palm trees and fronds instead of snowy pines, and sunny skies and ocean breeze instead of cold grey clouds and biting chill.

"Destruction leads to a very rough life, but it also breeds creation. And earthquakes are, to a girl's guitar, they're just another good vibration..."

People were improvising, of course - the houses they passed by as they walked down the street were strewn with plastic Christmas decorations and unlit lights. Trees heavy with ornaments could be seen through living room windows, and a few wry people had even thrown a decoration or two on any palms that happened to be on their property.

"And tidal waves couldn't save the world, from Californication-"

"Vesper, could you please sing something else?" Imite curled his antennae, trying to escape the sound. "It hardly seems like holiday time around here as it is. You could at least sing something festive..."

"Sorry, mariposa. It's stuck in my head." Vesper grinned slightly down at his friend.

"You're going to get it stuck in my head, too," Imite sulked.

"You sing something, then!" Vesper teased, bending down slightly to see more eye-to-eye with the much shorter moth morph.

Imite's face flushed slightly, and he turned his face away from the dark mantis. "I have a terrible voice..."

"Bah, I bet it's fine." Vesper was about to continue, when he noticed the time displayed on a sign outside a bank.

"Shit! Oh, sorry." Vesper glanced down sheepishly at his overly polite friend, who had winced at the word. "I didn't think it was this late. I was suppose to met Marissa ten minutes ago-"

Imite blinked, and his face fell. "Oh... well... alright. You better get going." His gaze turned towards the ground.

Vesper frowned. "Are you sure? I could walk you the rest of the way home..." The mantis had been wary of leaving Imite out in the open by himself ever since Slat's attempted rape. The moth shook his head.

"I'll be fine. The orphanage is only a few blocks away." He looked up slightly and put on a small smile. Vesper smiled back, but he could've sworn that Imite's face seemed tinted with sadness.

"Well, alright, mariposa. I'll be back around... seven? Maybe a little later. I'll see you!" Vesper waved, and started running back down the street they'd been walking along.

"Bye..." Imite said softly, watching him go. He stood there for a while, before turning around and continuing down the street, tucking his arms together and lowering his head.

Okay, now it feels like winter...
***

Imite made it to the orphanage without incident. There was a meager Christmas tree in the living room, and some of the other kids that lived there were watching a holiday special on TV. Imite passed them, and went into the small room he and Vesper shared.

He set his backpack down gingerly, then sat himself down on the bed and stared at the wall. I should be doing homework, he thought absentmindedly, but paid it no attention. Instead, he laid down, his gaze never faltering from the wall.

Vesper hadn't been around much lately. Ever since the night he had fought Slat off of Imite, the night he'd given the bruised, muddied, tear-streaked moth a bath, the night he'd held him - Vesper had redoubled his efforts in the area of dating. Marissa was the latest girl, a sophomore vixen with grey fur, brown hair, and an attitude.

Imite didn't like her. He wasn't sure why, Vesper seemed happy enough with her, and she didn't have any intolerable personality traits - he just didn't like her. He could hardly keep himself from fuming when Vesper chattered on happily about their dates to him, and when he saw them kissing in the hall at school, he actually broke the pencil he'd been holding.

It hadn't been much different for the other girls Vesper went out with, and it only made Imite's opinion of them lower when they dumped his friend. Vesper acted nonchalant about it, of course, but Imite could sense the hurt he was covering up.

Maybe part of it was that his newfound interest in girls meant that Imite was once again alone and prone to bullies at school, or alone in his room, with only his homework to entertain him. Loneliness threatened in the back of his mind, and had caught him by surprise several times - he'd started sobbing when that happened, and couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why.

On top of everything else, the occasional nightmares he had that stemmed from his brush with rape didn't help anything. They left him feeling cold, sick and shaking. He'd woken Vesper up in the middle of the night with them on more than one occasion.

Times like that, when they were both still half asleep, Vesper did what came naturally to comfort his friend and bunkmate - he held him and mumbled reassurances, until Imite calmed back down and was drawn back to sleep in the warmth of Vesper's arms. Last night had been such a night, apparently, for when they woke up, they were tangled up and wrapped around each other. Neither said anything about it - they never did. They just quickly parted and went about their morning business.

Imite's mind wandered back to that time, before the alarm had gone off. He had been in a state of half-consciousness, enjoying the warmth of Vesper's chest too much to wake up fully. He recalled the soft purr rumbling from the depths of bare chest, his head rising and falling with the mantis' breathing, the warm breath washing over his antennae from above in steady patterns, and -

Imite blinked and snapped back to the present. His pants suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. Daring a glance downward, he let out a quiet 'eep' of surprise when he noticed the small tent in his slacks. Blushing furiously, he pressed his knees together quickly and turned his gaze back to the wall, trying to not to think about it.

"What's wrong with me?" Imite whimpered to himself. It wasn't just Vesper's dates that bothered him - the mantis had gently suggested that maybe Imite should 'find someone' as well. Even Vesper couldn't take himself seriously, though. Most of the girls at school were taller than Imite, and probably more manly - he wasn't exactly a chick magnet. The only person who'd displayed any interest in him was... Slat.

Imite shuddered and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that, either. Even if any girl had shown interest in him, he wasn't sure he could reciprocate it. He'd never felt like that when it came to girls, or until now, anyone. For the longest time, he'd simply thought he was being proper and decent, like he was raised to be - but he couldn't find one attractive when he tried. Sure, he could recognize beauty as well as anyone, but it wasn't like he wanted to do anything to them.

Especially pretty girls did incur a certain feeling in him, though, but it wasn't arousal.

He was jealous.

Imite flinched at the revelation and quickly shook his head to try and get rid of it. No, no, no, I'm not like that, I don't want to be a girl. I'm not gay, I'm not interested in guys, I'm not...

He curled up slightly and hugged himself, opening his eyes to glance down between his legs at the lingering disturbance in that area, his blush returning. But no girl's ever given me... one of those.

Another sensation reminded him of just why he might feel like this, though. The reason he was in this orphanage in the first place, the fundamental source of all his confusion and pain; a faint throbbing, coming from the pit of his gut.

He closed his eyes tightly and leaned his head into his knees, choking back a whimper.

I guess it doesn't matter what my preferences are. No one's going to want a freak like me...

He was caught off guard once again, and started to cry.

"Do you even own a watch, Adrian-o?" Marissa sniped at Vesper as he stood on the threshold of her front door, panting slightly from having run the entire way there. "The movie is in a half hour, and the only decent theatre is across town..."

"I... am sorry, I lost track of time and... please let me in? It's getting cold out here," Vesper swallowed and rubbed his forearm, regretting the fact his wardrobe consisted largely of tank tops. She was mad at him, he knew - people didn't use his real name with the condescending emphasis on the 'o' if they weren't.

"Where's your jacket?" The vixen asked incredulously. Vesper lowered his antennae slightly.

"I... I lent it to Imite. He was cold." He glanced at the door frame as he spoke.

"Ugh. You know, Vesper, you'd have far less trouble with girls if you dumped those loser friends of yours. Especially that faggy-ass little moth." Marissa snorted, rolling her eyes.

Vesper bristled, inhaling, and fought to suppress the anger that threatened at the vixen's words. Marissa continued. "You're on thin ground as it is, bud. I still don't know what the hell you called me last night when we were screwing, 'maratosa' or something like that... What the hell's that suppose to be?"

Vesper blinked, pinning his antennae back and hoping his blush didn't show up. Embarrassment replaced anger. "Eh heh, was just a slip of the tongue. I meant Marissa, I swear."

He hoped she'd buy it. He didn't want to explain what 'mariposa' meant. She'd never believe it as a compliment - fiery, maybe, but she was never anything like a butterfly. He didn't want her to realize what - who - he really meant when he blurted the nickname out, either; it wouldn't be that hard to figure out who had been on Vesper's mind at that time.

There was only one butterfly in Vesper's life.

He winced slightly at the sudden thought that made him feel a little warm and tingly. He shook it off quickly, if not a tiny bit reluctantly.

"Yeah, well," He was aware of Marissa speaking again, walking up to him and twirling a lock of his semi-curly black hair around her finger, "I'd far rather your tongue slipped somewhere else."

Vesper looked down at her, a little stupidly, woken up from the unbidden thoughts about his friend.

"Come on," she hissed in a sultry tone and flicked her tail, her free hand gliding downwards, "The movie can wait. Let's see if you can get my name right this time."

Vesper resisted the urge to let out a defeated sigh as she lead him up to her room.

It was almost ten o'clock when Vesper finally made it home. He was worn out, physically and emotionally, like he always was after a date.

He closed the door behind him quietly and relished the warmth of the living room. He went over to the couch and sank down onto it, running his fingers through his hair and taking out his pony tail binder, which had been haphazardly replaced anyway. He shook his hair free, and set his forehead in his palms.

I must be crazy. He mumbled internally, Most guys would kill to have an evening like that with Marissa. Hell, with any girl. And here I am, feeling like shit...

He'd been like that, lately. At first, he enjoyed his new dates, and was excited about them. But more and more, he was reminded about why he'd fallen out of the dating game to begin with. He shook his head. This is ridiculous. Why do I have to be so emotional? I have girls crawling over me and expecting no love or commitment, just sex. This should be heaven.

He glanced around the living room and blinked. Everything was spotless, like it had been cleaned and re-cleaned. He frowned, guilt weighing down his spirits even more. The only one who would clean like that was Imite, and only when he needed busy work to get his mind off of something.

Vesper stood and quietly made his way to the room he and Imite shared, being silent and not turning on any lights - he could see in the dark decently, and didn't want to disturb anyone. Or get caught by an adult. A faint light shone from beneath the door of their room, and he opened it slowly.

"Imite?" he asked quietly. No response. He opened the door completely.

The moth was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach, the reading light beside their bed still on. He'd fallen asleep, using a book as a pillow, still open to the page he'd been reading. His antennae and soft black bangs fell over his face, swaying slightly with his breath.

Vesper found himself smiling, but didn't feel any inclination to fight it off. He went over to the bed and sat down gently, studying his friend. Before he knew it, he had reached out and gently parted the veil of bangs that had been covering the moth's face, tucking them back.

The revealed sight made Vesper's smile vanish. Imite's eyes were red around the edges, and lingering trails of tears were furrowed over the peach fuzz that covered his cheeks.

"Mariposa..." He murmured sadly, running a knuckle over one of the dried stains.

Imite made a quiet sound, shifting his weight, his antennae curling slightly. "Mm, Vesper...?" He mumbled. The mantis froze, halting his breath.

Imite didn't stir, though. He was still asleep. Vesper gazed down at him.

Was he dreaming about me?

Vesper finally inhaled. It felt like his heart skipped a beat. If Imite was dreaming about him... Well, I might as well play along.

He leaned forward, gently removing the book that Imite was sleeping on, and whispered, "Yes, little one?"

"You smell good..."

Vesper's face became warm. He realized that he probably still reeked of hormones from his encounter with Marissa. Before he could think of anything to say in response, though, Imite reached up and wrapped his thin arms around Vesper's neck and shoulders.

Vesper froze again. He stared down at his roommate, his heart pounding slightly. Despite the streaks of tears and red eyes, Imite was smiling. It was infectious, and Vesper felt his own smile spreading. He slowly slid one arm under Imite and set the book down on the night stand, as he lowered himself into a reclining position on his side. After turning the light off, his free arm moved away from the night stand and settled over the little moth gradually, a feather-light touch that gradually became a warm hug.

"Mmmh..." Imite settled in against his chest. Vesper let out a sigh despite himself - though this time, it was one of contentment.

I'm enjoying this more than hours of sex with one of the hottest girls in school...

Vesper closed his eyes and smiled.

I really am insane.