DUCKS AND STUFF BY: IRISH GUY

One quiet Sunday morning, at a quiet duck pond, where quiet people quietly conversed and quietly fed the ducks was one man, who wasn't very quiet.

"WILL SOMEONE GET THIS FREAKIN' DUCK AWAY FROM ME!!" yelled the not so quiet man, even though there was obviously no duck near him.

"Hey," said another man in a quiet whisper. "we're supposed to be quiet."

"BUT THE DUCK."

"The only ducks here are the ones in the pond." Said the man, still in a whisper. "Now if you're not quiet, something unspeakable will happen to you."

"THE DUCK! GET IT AWAY!!" Then it happened, the man was gone. But since the method of his disappearing is unspeakable, I can't say what happened. Just that the man is gone, vanished , stuff. In his place is a mini- cart that sells bread that can only be fed to ducks.

"What happened to him?!" yelled another man.

"He went against the authors wishes." Replied the same quiet man, in that same quiet tone.

"The author? What author?" yelled the man, a little louder now.

"The author, the person that created us out of boredom and is continuing to write about us."

"Oh my god."

"Yes, technically, he is."

"What? No, I meant, I controls us, he can just stop writing about us at any time?"

"Yes, but only if you start saying something bad about him."

"Really? Sounds like a real ass-h."