Author's Note: ::dances happily:: Now! Without further ado-- Chapter three! Well actually there is a little something before you actually start reading, and that would be my wonderfully wonderful exuberant lovely shout-out list! ::grin::

Lunar Wulf Gemini: Thank you very much for your review! ::huggles you:: You're so sweet! But you did indeed review twice ^_~ but it's okay by me! I enjoyed both of your comments ::hug::

Ryuumi Karasu: w00t! ::dance:: shounen-ai bits! ::giggle:: Yes, those should start up soon, indeed... muwahahahaAHHAAH! ::cough:: Sorry, I'm a tad on the weird side. Thanks much for your review.

Cirque du Macabre: Yay! Hoorah to my new wonderful beta! ::glomps you:: You're the best! Plus you get to read this before everyone else does ^_~ but no giving things away!

Moutons Noire: Now I must get X-Day even more than before! See what you've done? ::giggle:: Thank you so much for your review~ I tried to update soon. I really did!... ::pout:: Oh yes, and a lot of my characters seem to have problems with either drinking or smoking... perhaps it's my inner desire to want to try one of them... despite the fact that I hate the way alcohol tastes ::sticks tongue out:: and smoking destroys lungs x_x;

Machinegungirl: Indeed indeed it is a strange combination isn't it? ^_^ No rum for Vincey! Until... later that evening of course. In celebration... ^^; to their two new official members aboard the... Pale... Diamond. ::sweatdrop:: And yush! Ben is so ... cunning! ::steals the usage of your word:: ^_~ But I don't know who I should make dominant now ;_; heehee.

Woooooohoo! Now you get to know Ben a little better and Vincent's kinda on his serious side again, and you get to formally meet Hazel... their new chef! Woo!

Dead Men Tell No Tales
Chapter Three

*Last time...*

...My poor rum would feel neglected and the taste would go bad by then-- not to mention Jonathan and a number of other crew members would probably finish it by that time...

A week! Yes, a week!

No... a day!

Then again dinner today was special announcing the arrival of a new cook and sutler...

So it was decided.

An hour without rum...

...such torture!

*This time...*

Soon enough with all my captainly duties I had spent the whole day busy with chores and boring things like that; the only good part of it being that I got to freely boss everyone around and they couldn't say anything about it. Not to my face at least, hehe.

But I had really been looking forward to breaking the new guy, Ben, in. Teaching him that pirating was not just all fun and games... well, sure there were games here and there and we usually always managed to have a good time... but then again the job he was stuck with was not one to be envied. I mean, I won't even do it and it's my own damned mess! How bad is that?

I looked up, finally realizing that my eyes had been practically glued to the railing and the glare that bounced off of it from the sun was blinding me. I looked out towards the horizon and sighed softly. It was sunset.

To me... the sun setting over the ocean still had to be one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. And I'd been to many places that were considered 'paradises' to landlubbing men... each place, while beautiful in its own way, still had nothing to show in comparison to this sight...

This gorgeous unearthly sight before me that never failed to take my breath away, the ethereal hues which were reflected in the sparkling blue beside it... absolutely nothing could ruin this moment...

I heard one of my crewmen throwing up over the railing behind me and I shuddered, well almost nothing... the only reason that had been able to have such an effect as that was simply because it made my thoughts wander. This beautiful ocean...looking so sparkly and clean...

Think about it. Have it in your mind? Good...

Now... just try and imagine how many people have probably thrown up into it...

Disgusting isn't it? Yes, I thought so too. But I try to forget about it, after all nothing should ruin this moment for me. It came once a day without fail, and some of the people aboard the Pale Diamond would crack jokes about what a sissy I was for watching sunsets.

'It's the same thing every day! You only have to watch it once to know what it looks like!' they would say. But how foolish they were... to pass up such a gift.

And when I would overhear people spouting such nonsense, I would remind them quite simply and kindly that "I own their arses". And that is a direct quote, and a truthful one as well! I say jump and they either jump, or walk...right off the plank that is.

The sun eventually became invisible beneath the blue depths, just beyond my sight, but the glow from it still remained, and probably would for another half hour or so. I turned around ready to head down to where the celebration was to be held. It had in fact started a good hour ago, but I couldn't abandon my duties or my daily routine.

At least not for something so trivial, it was just an excuse to drink rum, and I wouldn't pass up that excuse now would I? But someone blocked my way unexpectedly, and from the far away look in the person's eyes I doubt very much that it was intentional.

Finally Ben's eyes focused on me with a sort of wary look, he seemed as if he was originally supposed to say something important to him but instead he shook his head silently and settled for something else. "I finally finished cleaning your chambers."

I was genuinely surprised, usually it took people at least two days to clean my sleeping quarters... especially after it had built up over a couple days... "Oh I see. That's good, is that all you came to tell me? That you finished cleaning my room?" I asked, wondering if he would wind up telling me what he came here for or not.

"Uh... the 'banquet' started without you, captain." He supplied with a slight shrug, "In other words sir, all the rum has been spent."

"All of it?" I asked gaping at him, only I had the ability to drink all that was in our stock. Even if given the chance my boys were too landlubber-ish still to hold it all in, "someone's going to be very sick tomorrow morning..." I mused with a knowing smile.

"Every single drop of it is gone, or in the process of becoming gone." Ben replied rolling his eyes exasperatedly, "It turns out that that Hazel, the woman chef has a taste for rum, and she and your sister are having a drinking contest as we speak."

"You mean to tell me, that all the rum is gone because of my sister... and that woman I haven't even met?" I asked, disbelieving him. "Impossible, not even a man could drink that much without passing out..."

"Oh believe me, they're very close to passing out, but neither one of them is giving in..." He smiled and looked amused by the whole matter, "They demand more rum. Perhaps you have a secret stock of it? Oh, say... in that secret little area where you can lift one of the planks underneath the nightstand to the right of your bed?"

I felt the blood rush from my face and knew that I had paled considerably... surely he hadn't found it. Of course not, he was just making a strangely accurate assumption. "How did you...?" I trailed off, noting somewhere in the back of my mind that the sun's gentle rays had almost completely disappeared, leaving an odd assortment of shadows splayed across my sutler's face. It was actually sort of charming in a way...

"Come on, Vincent." He said with a smirk, "I have a sort of sixth sense with people like you. I knew you were hiding some. And do you want to know a big secret?" he asked walking close to me so he stood extremely close to me.

He stood on his tiptoes and whispered something into my ear, "I didn't find your rum-- but you've confirmed what I thought."

"You... were just guessing?" I asked incredulously, pulling back to look at his facial expression, "Impossible... that's exactly where it is!"

Perhaps this Ben was psychic... we could make good money off of that...

His amber-colored eyes shone with mischief as he leaned in again, "Actually, I'm not psychic in the least... I just noticed a plank that was loose as I was dragging everything out from under your bed."

I chuckled lightly, what a brat... leading me to believe that he was able to read minds (even though that was really more of an assumption on my part...but that didn't matter.)

"So, Ben, let me have a turn at the Sixth Sense game... what did you really come out here for, hm? Surely it wasn't to inform me that my sister was off getting drunk with the chef, now was it?" I asked bemusedly.

Ben shook his head, "Actually it was that."

I blinked disappointed, perhaps I was only letting my imagination run off with me...

"But then you seemed so lost in your own little world that I couldn't help but to just stand back and admire you..." strange how Ben could say that with a straight face, I'm fairly sure if I ever tried to say anything remotely close to that I'd be blushing so badly... and stuttering, yet he remained calm and cool throughout his whole speech. The only other part I caught from it was something about him 'really admiring me' or something to that extent.

Ben rested his head on my shoulder and for a while I couldn't even bring myself to say anything at all, besides stand there and blink awkwardly trying to think of something to say that wasn't too stupid.

"I think I like you, captain." Ben said and I could feel him smirking against my neck, something which sent shivers down my spine. This was either some crazy dream due to intoxication or there was something strange in the air... some sort of natural intoxicant caused by the scenery and sunset and the angle at which... ah screw it. I had him where I wanted him and that's all that mattered at the moment.

Just as I was about to make my move, a chorus of female laughter filtered out onto the deck as the owners of the laughter stumbled out of the door, supporting each other and laughing merrily between themselves. And of course it could be none other than my drunken sister and that new chef woman... after all they were the only two women onboard (a thing I constantly worried about due to the somewhat lecherous people we had onboard as well...).

Ben pulled away from me first, and apologized swiftly making his leave rather than waiting for me to say something. He didn't even wait to be dismissed from his duties...

I turned to the women and glared at them, not that they noticed, they had ruined my moment with Ben and drank all my precious, precious rum...

I thought back to the stash I had tucked away safely in my room and thanked myself for being smart enough to do such a thing otherwise I would never be able to survive and we'd end up stopping at yet another city to restock. Rum was a very important portion of my daily routine you see.

"I'm guessing... you're Hazel?" I asked looking at the girl draped over my sister as Valence dragged her friend as well as herself towards me.

"Yuuup," Valence answered, her voice swaying as she spoke in place of the chef. "This is Hazel, cooking extraordinaire!" She said proudly, and she whispered quite loudly, "and she's kind of cute don't you think?"

I looked at my sister as if she were some strange alien from another planet, "Er... sure, whatever I guess. Now, you have some explaining to do young lady." I said, my voice stern and all captain-like. Even if I was speaking to my sister I had to be all commander-ish, even if she was drunk and probably wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning. Though that'd probably work more to my advantage than to hers.

"Oh?" she asked glaring at me, "Explaining for what, hm?" she asked sticking her tongue out at me while Hazel just snorted and began to have yet another laughing fit--she'd had five in the passed two minutes.

"For drinking all my rum. That was supposed to last me an entire week." And, if someone who didn't know me was to hear me say that they probably wouldn't think of it as such a big deal... after all a week's worth of rum was hardly anything... according to normal people. But let's look at it through Captain Vincent's point of view, shall we?

Now... if I drink three bottles in the morning-- to start my day, two in the afternoon--to help me steer the ship, and five in the evening to relax me and put me to sleep... how many is that for one day?

Let's see 3 plus 2 plus 5 is equal to erm... eleven..? No, wait... 10. Yes, 10. See? This is also the sutler's job... to take care of numbers and figures and stuff like that. Anyway, now... multiply 10 by 7 and that's equal to 70 bottles of rum.

70. Gone in one day. How insane is that!? And that's pretty strong rum... I believe some of it was whisky even... homemade... hehe, for a rough and troublesome day at sea.

I looked over to the two drunken ones and shook my head, I couldn't really be mad at them... I mean tomorrow they were going to have a hell of a hangover... 70 bottles between the two of them...

70 bottles....

...between the two of them.

Wait a second, what the hell!? I damned better be mad at them! They drank all my beautiful rum! That I had spent other people's money on! It was supposed to last me a week! Who the hell cares if these two were going to be so sick they wouldn't be able to move until around nightfall!

But it was my rum. My rum. MY rum. All gone, all gone, all gone. I could've sank into depression then and there. How could my sister do such a thing intentionally? If I cried now they wouldn't remember anything.

No, I'm not about to stoop so low as to cry in front of women... that's just sad.

And I couldn't very well throw them into the keelhaul [1], or bring out the cat [2] for them seeing as they were weak frail little women who could hold their rum better than 99% of the men on the ship, with the exception of me...of course.

So what could I do that wouldn't be too horribly terrible for them but still teach them a lesson? I could... make them walk the plank! But then again my sister doesn't know how to swim and she'd probably drown and I'd be guilty for the rest of my life and I would be even more depressed but then a certain someone could cheer me up--

No, that was a stupid and uncalled for thought. ...What was I talking about again? Oh yes, what could I possibly do? Something that they might even remember through their morning full of happy headaches?

I could... make them swab the decks with their tongues! No, that'd be disgusting for them and for people walking on the decks... plus it could cause them to cut their tongue on something, have their tongue become infected, and die from it or something... Not a good thing.

Well perhaps swabbing the decks would be sufficient enough... I looked at them, though in their current state I doubt they could walk a straight line... which would probably result in them falling off the ship over the railing and this brought up again the subject of my sister not being able to swim.

Perhaps tomorrow I would make them swab the decks... while they walked on their hands. I'm not sure how they'd manage it but it'd be a story to tell their grandchildren-- if they ever had any-- that they had once swabbed the decks of a great ship... not on their feet, not even on their hands and knees... but walking on their hands.

I wonder if feet can get callused like hands do?

I cackled maliciously and left to go to my room looking forward to morning very, very much. It would teach them to use up all my rum! All my preciously expensive rum...

Valence and Hazel looked at each other confusedly, watching me leave cackling to myself... I was sure I made their hazy minds very confused at how ... antagonist-like I seemed at the moment. Oh, but they would find out soon enough! Yes... soon enough! Wahaha..

I walked through the cramped hallway, and smiled slightly because I was able to hear through the floors into the room below where I could hear some of the men playing poker or other such games. Having fun... probably a little put out at not being able to drink anything though...

I grimaced thinking of that damned Jonathan, I hate him. Hate, hate, hate, hate. And I seriously mean hate, as in I wish I could just toss him overboard and lure some sharks in with some sort of bait (I wonder if they like rum or not..?) and then watch the sharks go on a feeding frenzy.

Yes, that I would like to see very much... I just have to wait for him to screw up once, just once on something and he'll be feeding those loveable little flesh-eating things which prowl the ocean...

If only damned Vale wasn't so fond of the cowardly bastard.

Dear ol' Vale really had to get some common sense, I mean the man had DANGER scrawled all over him.. and I mean that in both the literal and figurative way. Literal because the man actually had a tattoo that said 'Danger' really small on his abdomen... and we're just going to leave out the details of how I found that out... and figurative because he seemed dangerous. Kinda creepy..

He didn't even really serve a huge purpose to the ship either... apart from being our 'poster boy' as some of the men called him... those would be the polite ones. Others called him... well... er, other things than poster boy I'll tell you that much.

I hadn't even noticed that I had stopped in the middle of the hallway just to pay attention to my own thoughts until I finally looked around and realized that the door to my room was extremely close to where I was standing, standing mind you, standing rather than walking towards. I felt a little awkward standing there and I was half-glad that everyone else was having a good time down below.

Something tells me that sounded wrong but I just don't see it...

Hm... oh well, best just no to think about confusing matters.

I unlocked the door to my bedroom, it's not like I didn't trust my crewmembers and thought that they would steal from their own captain... well... er, actually it was that.

But not only that, one could never take their chances when in the open seas, any minute we could be attacked by pirate wannabes and have everything stolen from us.

Highly unlikely that they'd be able to get very far unless they were an older group than us like the ones who took us by surprise a week and some odd days ago. I walked into my room and almost thought that I'd somehow stumbled into the wrong room... but of course that would be impossible because my room was the biggest one, with the most expensive bed and other pointless things lying about.

This room... was... clean.

And not clean as in "picked up" but clean as in, 'Holy crap! My eyes-- they burn!' sort of cleanliness And I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say that it was close to midnight and the room sparkled so much it felt as if a light was on inside the room.

Well, okay it's a slight exaggeration. I couldn't really SEE it sparkling, but I could feel the cleanness radiating from it...like some sort of ... clean bacteria.

I bolted into the room, slid underneath my bed (thanking whoever watched over me that the bed was a foot and a half from the ground so I could slide along the wooden floors easily under it), and checked the loose plank.

I breathed out a sigh of relief, the rum was still there. Three bottles, stashed for a rainy day. I looked out the window into the clear, warm night then back to the rum. This continued for a few seconds before I restrained myself and put the plank back in its place with a mournful sound. I climbed up on top of my bed and threw myself across it so I was lying horizontally like usual.

I blinked and opened my eyes slightly, I would have willingly succumbed to the sandman but ... my pillows were oddly hard. I dug into the pillow case and could have cried out with joy; in fact I think I did but I didn't hear myself do it so I wasn't really too sure.

A bottle of my favorite rum, just one bottle... not a whole lot but it would sustain me for today... it would help me through the night.

I opened the top to it like an expert; which I was, and took a swig of it. I grinned into the dark room like a child who just ate the tastiest piece of candy in the entire world... which I kind of sort of had...

"And I don't even get a thank you?" Ben's voice sounded amused, though I certainly wasn't. He'd surprised me which resulted in me jumping and spilling some of the rum.

What a waste.

"What the hell are you doing in here? How long have you been in here? Did you give me the rum? Thanks if you did. But back to the real question! Stop trying to get off topic!" I knew I was rambling, I tended to do that after getting the crap scared out of me.

He chuckled, "I just walked in."

"Well what are you going here?"

"I came to make sure that you wouldn't break the bottle of rum with your hard head then give the people who wash things a hard time trying to get the rum stain out." He answered sarcastically, and I could barely make out that he had rolled his eyes.

...So I'm guessing that's not really why he came for this little nightly visit.

"So why are you really here?" I asked, with a raised eyebrow in his direction.

"I came to ask you where I was to sleep."

"In the servant quarters."

"My ass I'm sleeping in there. Let me remind you, I'm not on this ship because of some debt I need to pay off or anything of that kind. I'm here of my own free will-- you are no better than me just because you have some false idea that just because you are captain you can boss around everyone who sets foot on this ship."

So I was guessing Ben wasn't too keen on the idea of sleeping in the servant quarters.... They were almost as well furnished as my own room! I didn't see why he had to make a huge fuss about it...

"Well where did you want to sleep?"

"Where do you think I want to sleep?" he asked in a tone that suggested that he thought the answer was quite obvious.

"On the deck?" I questioned, shrugging and taking another sip of the drink before leaning over the edge and placing it with the other hidden bottles... it must be saved and cherished.

"Moron, I'm sleeping here."

I blinked, "Uhh..." I felt more than saw when he climbed into the bed before me, though he didn't lie down or make any move to become more comfortable.

So this was the moment of truth--

"So get out."

Shit. "What?" I asked, staring blankly at him, "This is... my room in case you've forgotten."

"I cleaned it so I have more rights to it than you do." He responded, "so out."

As if I'm going to listen to a prick who was probably younger than me. "I'm not going anywhere."

"So, cap'n... why you sleeping down here with us? T'aint at no age to be havin' sleepovers anymore... unless you wanna play a rounda poker with me, eh? How's that sound? Sounds good aye? I'll shuffle."

I looked around the servant's quarters bleakly, even the crewmen who weren't servants stayed here... it was furnished well but... it just wasn't the same!

...This sucks royally.

Being pushed around by someone like that Ben Tsuki guy...

I couldn't suppress the grin that spread across my face, I couldn't help it. Not many even dared stand up to me... much less tell me what to do.

I looked around once more.

'Though I really wish he'd be nice about it next time and just let me sleep on the floor with the blanket or something.' I think... this is might be, could be, is probably the start of a beautiful friendship.

Or something evilly cliche like that.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
To be continued...

Woo! Finished! And it only took me... erm... like 2 days to write! (2 days = roughly 5 hours.) Yes! My grades are going to drop because of this! ^_^; but that's my fault...

AND WAH! Cirque du macabre (my beta) never beta-ed it and I got impatient so I'm just posting it now ::sniffle::

So, review n_n