By her Tears
Disclaimer: See Prologue
" Jason." Amalie nudged him slightly, waking him up.
They were in Study Hall, one of the three classes they had together
that no one was around and as long as they were quiet, they could fool
around and just waste time. Which was what they did. Jason had been
braiding her hair, he loved her hair, and had just stopped in the middle of
it and slumped over.
" I'm so sorry, Amalie." He stifled a few yawns and rubbed his eyes
and took up the braid once more. " I was up all night."
Amalie turned a little and slid the half-done braid out of his pale
hands. " No matter." She said, bringing a smile to his lips.
It was their motto: No Matter. It meant exactly that, that no matter
what happened, they would always forgive each other and be the same as they
always were. Even if it were a little thing, it was of no matter to them.
" What did you want to tell me this morning?" She asked, fiddling with
the sleeve of her jacket.
Jason stiffened and became serious, not something he often did. He
took her hands and folded them in his own. " I love you." He said.
Amalie looked up and smiled. " I know you do, you tell me that almost
every time I get off the phone with you or go home or just when we know we
won't see each other for a while." But Jason shook his head and slightly
tightened his hold on her hands.
" That's why I was up all night, thinking about you and what I was
going to do about it." He said,and she looked in his eyes. They were dark,
the kinds that you can't tell where the pupil and where the iris merge
because they are so dark. She loved his eyes, and didn't know how many
times she wished that he was looking at her the way- the way he was know.
" I don't understand what you mean." She said dumbly, confused and
" I love you, like a man loves a woman. I don't want to be with guys
anymore. All I can think about is you and how much I miss you and want to
hold you and talk to you like Marie gets to talk to Chris." Jason's eyes
started tearing up and to Amalie it looked like he was serious, but he
couldn't be. " All I've ever wanted to do since I saw you in the graveyard
He leaned in and kissed her lightly, keeping his mouth closed, and
that was when Amalie started crying. The tears slipped down her cheek and
splashed onto their joined hands. She shook and he held her, breaking the
kiss and wiping her eyes. She pushed him away and slapped him. When he
finally looked up at her, her face was angry and her cheeks were bright
" I don't believe you." She spat, and then Amalie ran out of the
A few hours later they had their greenhouse class, learning how to
take care of plants and all that funny dirty stuff. Amalie just sat off to
the side today, not getting into the pots and doing better work than
everyone else. Jason tried to get her to look at him, but she wouldn't.
When he got too close to her, she would move and find another spot. Finally
she ended up sitting on the edge of the roof, dangling her feet over the
side and looking down, all five stories down.
She wondered why he would do something like that, go and play with her
like she was some kind of emotional rag doll that he could toss around and
pick up whenever he got bored. Even though he'd done everything she wished
he would do for the past six years, kissed her, looked at her like she was
the only one in his world, wiped her eyes when she cried, it hadn't been
right. He was supposed to like guys, not her. She had boobs, and a uterus,
he wasn't supposed to want her.
She looked down, wondering how her angel was doing. He was probably
watching over someone else, seeing as if he had been with her, this never
would have happened.
" Amalie." Jason was behind her, and she had nowhere else to run, she
could either push him out of the way, which might make him fall off the
top, or jump herself, and that didn't sound so nice right now. " You have
to talk to me."
She took a deep breath, but didn't turn around. If she looked at him
now, it might make everything worse. " It was really sudden and
unexpected." She said.
" I know." She heard him sigh. " I'm sorry."
She balled her fists up and slammed them down on the bricks. " Six
years Jason! Six godforsaken years of liking you and not being able to have
you! What do you think that does to a person?" She nearly shouted, but
didn't want any of the people from the class coming over. " And now you
tell me that you like me?"
" I'm sorry." His voice was coming close to whining, and Amalie could
not stand whining.
" I know you're sorry! What I don't know is why all this time? Why now
and why me?" She didn't want to cry anymore, but they just kept slipping
out of her eyes. She leaned over the edge so she didn't get her shirt wet
and let them fall.
" That's what I don't know!" Jason fretted, and she could picture him
wringing his hands like he always did in cases like this. " I guess you
can't judge who you are on one experience, and I made that horrible
" I don't want you to like me! I want to like you and not like me
back, like it was yesterday. Don't you get it?" She stood up on the edge. "
Never mind. We'll deal with this like we always do. No matter."
Maybe jumping after all would be the best thing. Mama Kat doesn't
really need me, and Momma's been gone for a long time now. Jason... Her
thoughts faltered for a second. Jason will find someone else and forget all
about me. It's better that way.
Now she did turn around and smiled at him, even though she knew her
eyes were streaming and sad. " I love you too Jason, always have, and I
always will." She let herself slip off the edge backwards, flinging out her
arms as she fell. " No matter." She whispered before she blacked out.
Jason ran to the edge and dropped to his knees, watching Amalie fall,
her hair flowing all around her in the wind and her eyes closed. She seemed
to be suspended there, and five stories wasn't really a long time to fall.
There was a flash of light and when he opened his eyes again, she was gone.
Just like that. He looked for her mangled and broken body on the ground,
but there was nothing there but the grass and trees. He knew what had
happened to her though.
He got up and wiped his eyes off, then made some sad excuse to the
teacher that he was sick and had to go home. Since it was a substitute, she
let him go and he was on his way. Not by bus though, by flight.
The wind whipped him around and tossed him all over, but he gritted
his teeth and kept on going until he saw his house and dropped into the
backyard. He'd finally gotten the hang of the levitation spell that he had
found in one of his books, but he still had a few years of studying until
he got as good as his grandmother, who was teaching him.
" Sensei! Sensei!" He ran down the stairs to the basement where Maya
had her rooms.
She had many rooms, and with her touch with fabrics and colors, the
stoney basement looked more like a movie set for some exotic harem room.
But that was only the general idea, as she had set many charms and spells
to keep the place safe and hidden.
She came out of the room with the dark wooden door, one that he had
been told never to go in unless she had told him to and she was with him. "
I know she is gone, and I know where." He ran to her and hugged her like he
was drowning. " But you cannot go to her."
He let go and stared at her. Jason started to say something, but Maya
shook her head.
" She is in a place where humans are not readily welcomed, and it would be
hard to say if you would appear in the same place that she may be." Maya
reached out a small hand and touched her grandson's face with it, feeling
her rings warm to his skin. " But know that she is safe, and with people
that will not harm her for anything."
Jason nodded and backed away, then spun and ran to his room. Maya
sighed and let him go, then went back into her room and tried to see
anything else that would help them.