Pages from a Burning Notebook

So, we had a attempted robbery

It ended up being a kind of gong show experience, for a number of reasons.

First, the robber rolled up to the store on a bicycle. It was bitterly cold, so I didn't even notice he had his face half covered with a scarf.

Secondly, he was carrying a Disney bag. Worse, it was a TINKER BELL bag. No one is gonna take a robber seriously if he's carrying a Tinker Bell bag.

Third, he tried holding me up with a kitchen knife. Admittedly a sharp looking kitchen knife, but still hard to take entirely seriously.

So he barged into the store while I was mopping up the floor, and away from the till.

I should note: If I had been ANYWHERE NEAR the till I would have happily popped the till open and handed him cash. Money is not worth being stabbed. Also, it's my boss's money. Do I give a shit about that? HELL no.

So he comes in, whips the knife outta the Tink bag and demands cash. With me nowhere near the till. So I start backing away, keeping the mop between me and him.

"Gimmie the money!"

And I'm babbling, "You're on camera, you're not gonna get anything, just go!"

And during all this I'm backing away and sorta vaguely fending him off with the mop. I guess the robber decided it was taking too damn long because he turned around and left. Called the cops & my boss, then went back to cleaning.

I should repeat: DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. Do not argue with the robber. Give him or her the money.