Author's Notes: Oh gosh. I've got twelve reviews. (Not that much, actually, but Hell. I'm easily pleased.) I'm sorry I haven't written in months. . Although I'm sure most of you won't have noticed that. But I'm starting to work on the story again and I've got everything up to chapter nineteen outlined and planned out. So, no worries!

Blood Reign: Hiya! I hope I'll keep you around for a while yet.

AimeeBlue:. . . Bitsy, you worry me. Of course Gabe's an ass, but Hell. He's Gabe. And Lil's just a bit biased on him. And the pictures suck, you know that.

Metatrona: Lol. Dani's the name, angst's the game . . .

Shishi Hoko-Dan: I like long sentences. They amuse me. But you might have a point. Thankee!

Knightengale: Deeeee! *pokes you* Are you still alive? And of course she said "Good times". What would a story without a character like that be?

aurarius-evenstar: I did! Hah!

Mbwun: Thanks! ^-^ I'm glad you like it. It's my baby. *snuggles it* . . . Errrr, right . . .

Spawn2099: Hehe. Thankee!

Street Samurai: I am the Grammar and Spelling Demon. Fear me!

- - - -

After that, I had the vague impression I'd made myself highly unpopular with some of the Exodus members. Namely the female ones. It didn't take me ten seconds to see Miriam worshipped the ground Gabe walked on. Nasty thought.
Or at least that was my first impression of it. The way she fawned over him, apologizing for my behavior, while the rest were silent. The way she almost yelled at me for being rude. I shrugged, not taking her seriously. I had better things to do than listen to love-sick scientists.
Later on, after giving Yuri my handprint so I had fee access to the headquarters without having to hang around with one of Exodus' members, Mike took me home. I couldn't really express how glad I was about that. It was incredibly uncomfortable in the Exodus, due to my snide remarks at Gabe.
With whom, quite actually, I had a brief conversation. He'd asked me what that had been about, how I'd come to conclude things like that about him. I had merely shrugged. None of his business, was it? Well . . . Yeah . . . Actually it was, but Hell. I can't say I was the type of person who had a rational mind.
He seemed rather reluctant to tell me I was to join the organization. As I learned, there were far more members than I had first anticipated. There were, without counting me in, seven that were really important. The others just supported them.
The seven counting members were Gabe, Mike, Rafe, Miriam, Yuri, someone called Saul, whom I didn't meet that day, and . . . I think that was pretty much it. One or two names might have been mentioned that I forgot. Oh well.
I spent most of the time flaming Gabe with insults, accusing him for being a lazy asshole. He didn't try to defend himself. Absolutely nothing. He was just . . . there. I couldn't explain it. He just accepted it all. He took it with a stride more towards indifference, which I know he wasn't. He was far from indifferent, he was just so concerned with his self-pity that he failed to acknowledge anything else but for a brief instant.
I also sensed a strange air of jealousy. It's not like I could really explain it or anything. It just appalled me, in an inexplicable way. The word Envy pounded in my head whenever I looked at him or he crossed my mind. Seriously, not fun.
Envy. Envy.
Sin.
Yet I felt somewhat content with that, annoying as it was. As if I wanted him to be jealous. Of what, I had no idea. I just felt extreme satisfaction at seeing him jealous. Envious. But of what the Hell . . . ?
No matter at which Exodus member I looked, I sensed something. When I looked at Mike, Wrath echoed in my mind. A glance at Rafe called forth an aching repetition of Lust, Yuri seemed to have Sloth written all over him.
Only Miriam radiated an emptiness that frightened me. She was a vacuum. She seemed emotionless. Not emotionless, entirely. Just simply void of a certain air that a normal human being would have. You know, like you always sense something about a person when you meet them? She just had one major lack of that kind of thing.
I reacted differently towards every person, a spontaneous reaction I didn't know I was capable of. Mike annoyed me a bit, but he was fun to be around with. Towards Rafe I felt a brotherly affection, while Yuri slightly disgusted me. But hey, I guess that happens.
And Gabe . . . Gabe frankly pissed me off. Like whoa. Big time. I seriously had never encountered that kind of instant hatred before or anything. Usually I didn't really give a shit, but Gabe . . . Ugh. Talk about asshole.
But then, the human race in itself pissed me off. It wasn't like it was abnormal for that to be the case. Woo, good times indeed.
Yeah, I know I probably come off as a real bitch by now. I can't say I blame anyone for thinking I am. It's the way I look out on things, the way I fail to be empathetic. For most part, at least. It's my whole attitude. The world pisses me off, and I piss the world off in return. It's just the way the whole deal works.
I snorted with contempt as I shoved the key-card into the slot as to unlock the door to our apartment. I really had no freaking clue why the house owner hadn't gotten that stupid thing replaced with a numeral code- lock. Greedy idiot.
To add to my already foul mood, the damn thing decided to be extra slow on me. I swear it took forever to let out the damned beeping sound that tells you the door's open. That was the major point at which I could have screamed with frustration.
Me? A happy camper? No sirree. Definitely not.
Instead of screaming, though, I kicked the door. That's when it opened. Jeez. Did I have to do every-fucking-thing with force? Fine, no problem with me. I can be violent.
I slammed the door behind me, not particularly caring if anyone was at home or not. They could all go to Hell, for all I cared. "Ahh, this is all a whole load of bullshit . . ."
"Watch your language, dear," someone called from inside. I rolled my eyes. Mom could seriously go to Hell, for all I cared. I was in no mood for all her random bitching and ranting and raving.
See, she rarely finds someone who'll put up with her. Which is mainly why I'm pretty surprised Dad's been married to her for ten years, but that's an entirely different story. I could go on for hours about that topic. Yes, I have no life. As if you hadn't noticed that by now.
Mom can't find anyone who'll listen to her raving, most of the time. That makes her unhappy and even more pissy. Sometimes I wondered how her employer put up with her. I mean, I personally wouldn't really keep someone around who bitched at me nonstop.
Then again, I can instantly snap someone's head off. So I probably shouldn't be talking.
I knelt down to untie my boots, which was always a good excuse not to look at Mom once she came into the hall. Probably she'd be carrying that brat, Maxie, around. God, I was still in a bad enough mood towards the kid to murder her on the spot. Now there was a really glorious mental image. Too bad I couldn't make it come true.
A few seconds later there were footsteps. And, surprise surprise, there she was. In the doorframe to the kitchen, with the baby on her hip. And glaring at me, of course. But Hell, could I really blame her? Bet she wouldn't have adopted me if her life depended on it, if she'd known I'd turn out like this.
Either that, or she would have kept me on a leash. What a pleasant little thought.
"Really, I have no idea where you picked up on it!" Mom went on, still scowling at me.
"Mhm." Was I really paying attention? No.
She kept on about it while I finished untying my boots and kicked them off. My jacket was carelessly flung onto one of the hooks, practiced ease, really. But my mind snapped back to reality when she said, "The reverend told me you were in confession, Lillian."
Oh, jeez. Why did I see that one coming? The bastard did tell them everything, after all. "Yeah. So?" I finally did look at her, and was quite surprised to see her smiling. Whoa, what did I do to achieve that one?
"I'm glad that you're back on the path towards righteousness."
. . . Right. Hell would freeze over and become a very cozy little place, with my throne and all, if that ever occurred. And Gabe would be confined to a room with bouncy walls.
Actually, I liked that thought. It amused me. A great deal. Maybe "the path of righteousness" wasn't too bad after all.

Screw that. Hell would have to freeze over, imprisoning every single creature that annoyed the living fuck out of me. Including my mother. Especially my mother. I think Hell's throne might be reserved for her, and not for me, after all.
The day had passed just fine, like it always did when she wasn't there. Evenings were always the worst, when she came home. Crabby, moody, bitchy. Satan's human incarnation, I tell you. Her sole purpose of existence was making my life as miserably as possible.
"You shall worship your parents", my ass. Whoever wrote that in the Bible had parents who weren't Satan's little helpers. Or was a delusional idealist who had no grasp on reality. Either options seem highly likely.
The world was an asylum and this was definitely the center. "Lillian, where do you always go when you leave here?" Mom demanded, currently struggling with the baby. Again. I swear, the kid would've driven me nuts by now.
"Out." Well, d'oh. Whoever would have guessed.
She shot me a murderous look. "I know that!" she said scathingly. "But where?"
I felt my hand travel instinctively to the pistol I usually carried at my side. Well, shit. It wasn't there. In my room, under my pillow. Guess Mom got lucky that time. "None of your business," I returned nonchalantly.
Right then, I was clearing off the table, putting everything in the dishwasher and all. Not fun. Really, I could imagine more interesting tasks than that. But Hell, it did give me somewhere else to look. I could feel Mom's eyes on me anyway. No need to check it out, right?
I heard her stomp like a little child. "I'm your mother, it is my business!"
"Yeah?" I shot her an annoyed look over my shoulder. "Weird. I don't think anyone else here has purple hair or weird-ass eyes like I do. Odd that you'll usually harp about me being adopted." I smirked. "So, basically, you're not my mother."
"That's quite enough out of you, young lady." Dad appeared in the kitchen.
"Ooooh, the man of the house has spoken," I said sarcastically. "Excuse me for a moment while I have a nervous breakdown of fear." I made as if I were going to crumple to the ground.
The reaction would have been quite amusing if it hadn't been so scary. Both of them started yelling at the same time, and Mom even broke a coffee mug. They probably would've slapped or punished me severely, given the chance.
I, personally, wasn't going to stick around to wait and see what happened. Although I was an emotional turmoil inside, I calmly closed the door to the dishwasher. I even managed to hang up a dishtowel before my control over myself was about to snap.
What did I do? I just left. I'd had it with them. They had never really cared before, and now was definitely not the time to play around with my feelings. I still didn't know what was happening to me, at that point. But I knew it would get bad if I got a major adrenaline shot or something else. Something was triggering a feral side that I didn't necessarily like.
I felt almost like some caged wild animal while I prowled the streets of the city. Not sure what to do, where to go. Home wasn't an option, neither was the Exodus. At least not now. The warehouse was officially closed down, and basically, life was crap. Yeah, I liked being positive like that.
What does a confused teen do in a situation? Damn straight. Go to a club and have some fun. Whatever the Hell that was supposed to mean. Not like I was going to dance or anything, I couldn't do that for the life of me.
Don't ask me how I managed to sneak past the security people without a fake ID. I did, since I have my methods.
It was kinda weird entering a smoky scene like that again. My life had been turned upside down, at first by a guy who wasn't much older than I was, and then even more people. People who were the true outcasts of society, went against everything a Catholic church believed in.
And I was one of them. But that isn't too surprising, huh.
After the last week and a half, it was hard to fit back in. You just feel like you stand out everywhere. Life and society are like a whole intricate arrangement of machinery. Mechanical plans and dreams, and no one notices it. Every person is a gear, and once a gear falls out of place . . . Well, let's just say there's no way you'll fit back in, mentally.
It just doesn't work.
Somewhat irked by my own train of thought, I shrugged. Being philosophical was obviously not my strong point. Instead of pursuing the subject further, I inhaled the heavy smoke-laden air and plopped down on a barstool.
And yeah, luck wasn't with me. Only seconds later someone sat down next to me. Someone I knew well enough by now and could discern from even the largest crowd. Random guess who.
"Go away," I told him and put on the best sulking, moody expression I could muster.
"You sound absolutely thrilled to see me," Rafe replied smoothly, giving me a grin. "How'd you get in here?"
"I seduced one of the doormen, how else."
He made a face at my sarcasm. "No details, please. I just had dinner."
Dinner? What the Hell? It was after ten o'clock in the evening, and he'd just had dinner? Jesus. "You worry me. A great deal."
"Good. Then my sole purpose in life has been fulfilled. I can die peacefully now."
"Whatever floats your boat."
Rafe folded his hands under his chin and gave me a long, hard stare. "Now, spill."
I nearly fell off my stool with surprise. "Excuse me?" I said incredulously, righting myself again. What was he talking about? Was it that obvious that I was in a bad mood because I'd gotten myself in the deep shit again?
"Something's bothering you and I want to know if I can help." He reached over and lightly tapped me on the side of the head. "I can almost see the gears in there working." He withdrew, folding his hands and propping his chin on them again. Then he gave me the most expectant gaze I'd ever seen. "So, spill."
Ouch. Everyone was talking in mechanics today. This was getting downright scary. "Fight with the parental units. Shoot them and you'd absolutely make my day."
"Sorry, no can do." He leaned back and shrugged. "Shit happens, especially when it involves parents. I know where you're coming from. Mine kicked me out when I came out of the closet." A grin tugged at the corner's of his mouth. "I'm not exactly your good little Christian boy."
Obviously not. But still a sweetie, I wanted to say. But that was overstepping the boundaries of the limited intimacy on personal matters we shared. "I guess."
"We've all had a hard time with our parents, so I wouldn't worry if I were you."
"'We'?"
"Us. The Exodus. I got kicked out, others have been verbally abused, or abandoned emotionally. It's sad. One of us was even raped by his own mother."
Ouch, ouch, ouch. The last one was plain wrong. Stuff like that happening in holier-than-thou Christian families. Oh God. This couldn't be true. I had the urge to throw up. Just the thought of rape still made my stomach upset. Even the light brush with that kind of situation had left me traumatized to it.
"Not you, though, right?" I said carefully, before adding, "Or Mike?"
"Nah. Just kicked out. And Mike gave his parents so much shit that they put him into military school. He took off. Can't blame him, though I still say his behavior was ridiculous in the first place."
Upon hearing that, I was somewhat relieved. But then that meant it was someone else, whom I didn't know too well. Gabe? Hah, good one. I probably would have laughed if it had been him whose mother had taken out her lust on him, although I should have pitied him. Probably. But heck, I was too pissed at him for that.
A hand landed on Rafe's shoulder, drawing his attention away from the conversation we'd been having. Behind him stood a man, probably a year or so younger than Rafe was. He was also a head shorter than my friend, and black-haired.
There was an expression on Rafe's face that I couldn't quite comprehend. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to. He introduced me to the other guy, whose name was Jake. Slowly I was beginning to register what was going on here. Rafe had a . . . beau.
Not surprising, if I was honest. He was a sweet person and I might even have been interested in him if he hadn't been gay. But still . . .
I slightly shook my head. I wasn't going to stick around, lest I bother them. Besides, more time had passed than I had originally thought. It was half past eleven already. My parents were bound to be asleep already, and it would take me another half an hour to get home. If I kicked myself out of bed at six, I could avoid the rest of the family.
Without even saying good-bye, I slipped out into the night and headed homewards.