The room was overcrowded, spilling over the brim with bodies pushing and bustling to be somewhere and nowhere all at once. Laughter and voices were broken with the screams of spoiled children, and people swarmed in every direction, no one standing perfectly still. No one but Sam. Sam stood on the opposite side of the room, watching her through the crowd. It didn’t matter that he lost sight of her every once in awhile, he knew her face by heart, and her movements were ingrained in his memory. Everything she did was as familiar as his own actions, but that didn’t keep him from watching her.

Her name was Beth Sanders, and he had known her for years. At first it had been through mutual friends. She’d always been an enigma to him. The way she held herself, the way she spoke. Her every thought cried out as a mystery that could not be solved. She lived a fantasy, with her easy smile and soft voice. She captured the heart of any one she met, and kept it long after she had gone. And what killed Sam every time was the fact that she didn’t know she did it. Beth Sanders had no idea what she did to people.

For years he had watched her do it. People willingly handed over their hearts and never gave it a second thought. If she asked them to, men would bow down at her feet. But she never asked. She hadn’t needed to ask Sam. Sam had done it without a second thought. And now that she had his heart, he couldn’t dream of handing it over to anyone else.

Unfortunately, Sam had betrayed his heart. She had loved him, he knew it. She wasn’t one to say the words unless she meant them. She’s been hurt so many times before that he knew she couldn’t lie. But things change, and so do people. Through the love in his heart, she slipped away. Now, there she sat, so close, just through the crowd, yet so far away, through a fog of what may have been.

“Beth!”

Sam turned instinctively toward the person who called her name. Sarah stood a few feet from him. Sarah Reveille was a friend of Beth’s from work. The world began to move in slow motion as Beth swiveled in her seat. A smile lit up her features as her eyes met Sarah’s. She waved. In that moment, Sam could have melted. Sarah only stood feet from him. Without difficulty he could imagine that the smile was for him, and the delight as well.

But Sam’s fantasy did not last much longer then fleetingly. Inadvertently, Beth’s eyes shifted, and cascaded over him. Even with the distance between them crowded with bodies, he knew that her dancing blue eyes had gone stone still, much as he was standing. For a long moment, she seemed to ponder. Then with a sudden, bright, unrehearsed smile on her face, Beth waved. Sam felt his heart kick into overdrive, and everything slowed. He managed to keep himself from grinning like a schoolboy as he casually waved back.

Sarah smiled at him, then strolled away, towards Beth. Sam was torn. She had waved. Did she want him to come over? Or was that wave just a friendly thing? He had hurt her. He had hurt her far worse then he was willing to admit to himself. There was nothing he wanted more in the world then to march over and explain himself. But once he stood in front of her, staring into those deep blue eyes, would he be able to find the words?

The day it ended had been horrible. He’d known for years that he had a violent temper. Every one had told him. His size scared most average people, so when it was combined with the temper, it was like a raging bull aching to strike. That day she had rubbed him the wrong way, and he was sure she had known what she had done. He watched her pull away for months, and finally she was out of his reach.

But out of his reach or not, he’d been furious that someone he loved so much could fall out of love with him. He’d gone beyond his normal boundaries, and he’d screamed at her like he never had before. He made her cry, right there in front of him, and every cell in his body wanted to hurt whoever was responsible for those tears. Unfortunately, it was him.

Any time he saw her after that moment was filled with words he had to say. He found himself wanting to run to her, sweep her up, and tell her that he would make it up to her. But Beth had moved on. She lived in a nice apartment, with her best friend. She went out weekends with her four close friends, lived dangerously close to the bad girl edge, while maintaining the innocence that made her irresistible. Beth had grown up, without Sam.

How many times had he woken up, feeling the need to reach out and hold her? How many times had he picked up the phone and dialed the first six digits of her number? How many times had he wanted to hear her voice? It killed him to have her so close. He needed to tell her he loved her, even if it was the last thing he ever said to her.

But even as he stood there, watching her laugh with Sarah, he knew. Beth Sanders was gone from his life. He could never love another, and he could never be with her. She couldn’t love him after all that he had said and done. His life had been altered, and he could never get it back. Slowly, he turned and made his way through the crowd, vanishing into the masses. So much for love.

Across the room, on her stool, Beth watched him out of the corner of her eye. Why can’t you love me, Beth thought. What was so horrible about me, that you couldn’t stay in love? And as he disappeared, Beth turned away. So much for love.