Kingous’s and Queenous’s

It had taking much effort and most of the night, but finally I had calmed the two Queens.  They now sat glaring at each other in the audience chamber of the new King. 

It had been announced to the people of Beertopia that the brother Kings were no more.  This was received well. 

It was then announced that their successor was the loyal Beertopian Aus-OZ.  This was received very well and cheers broke out.  Apparently, Aus-OZ had been far more popular than he had known. 

It was then announced that Toughous Nailous would be the new Queen.  This was received at first in stunned silence, then with such a deafening cheer that I thought my ears would explode.  Toughous was almost like a celebrity in Beertopia and loved, feared and, or respected by all.  Queen Toughous Nailous-OZ was the most beloved ruler the land of Beertopia had even known. 

Finally, it was announced that the royal harem was to be made open to the public.  If the new Queen had been received exceptionally well, this news was like announcing the new Queen a thousand times all at once.  The roar of the crowd was matched only by the tidal wave of movement towards the palace. 

After the announcements had been made, King Aus-OZ and Queen Toughous had a private audience with my captains and I, during which they thanked us for their current good fortune.  They provided us with five new mounts and plentiful supplies, and then they bid us farewell. 

            It was not long before we were all once more in the palace of King Fitimous Extremist.  Although he had exiled his former Queen from his land, he did permit her to stay in his castle for one night, before I would escort her and Kelopatra back to Erectous-instantious. 

When Bigous and Garous were finally re-united with Braous and Fairious, I felt a tear come to my eye.  Their love was so true and pure, their embraces and kissed to emotional.  Long had my captains suffered and through much had they shown their courage in the hope that this moment would come and now that is was here it did not disappoint.  The King ordered that nothing should disturb the lovers, on this their fist night together since before the war against the Northernous Scumous and so it was. 

That night, although not with my captains, I was not alone.  I sat in a chamber with Claireopatra and Kelopatra, glaring at each other all the while. 

“Kelopatra, will you tell me how you came to be in the harem of the brother Kings?” 

Taking her scowling eyes from her nemesis, Kelopatra looked at me in the way she had done when I had last left her on the borders of her homeland. 

“It was all her fault!”

“It wa-” 

“Claireopatra, please.  Let Kelopatra talk without interruption – I need to know what happened.” 

Claireopatra gazed at me in such a manor that my throat instantly dried. 

“Kelopatra” I said returning my attention to her “please continue.” 

“Well, when you left me I was weally upset.  I walked back towards my pawace, but I didn’t get vewy far.  Before I knew what was happening, I was suwwounded by a howwid gwoup of wuffians.  They gwabbed me (and wather woughly I might add) and then bwought me here.  I saw those bwutes the Kings give the men money and then I was taken to the hawem.  I can onwy assume that this jealous bitch got her new master’s to bwing me here so that if she couldn’t wule then I couldn’t either.” 

I sighed and then dragging my concentration back to the moment and away from impure thoughts about the Queen I announced “Kelopatwa, er I mean Kelopatra,  Claireoptra has been under a spell.  She was influenced by the Kings, not the other way around.” 

“Humph” sulked Kelopatra and she folded her arms. 

“I’m taking you both back to Erectous-instantious tomorrow, but I want you to have resolved your issues by the time we get there, so that I can leave your land in peace.” 

“You’re not staying with us?!” cried both women in unison. 

I shook my head and then with a massive effort of will power, I left the room.  As I closed the door behind me, I was sure I heard what sounded like a vase breaking and a muffled scream, but shaking my head and far too tired for anymore fighting, I made my way to my own quarters. 

Once there I fell upon the bed and was asleep in moments, exhaustion claiming me. 

            The following day, I left my smiling captains in the arms of their lovers as I departed with Kelopatra and Claireopatra.  My captains and I would see each other again in the city of Rome. 

The Beertopian mounts saw that I had escorted the women back to the city of Erectous-instantious by the end of the day.  It had been a quiet journey, for although both women had conversed in low tones with each other, neither had uttered a word to me.  It was not long before the men of Cumquicklious were cheering loudly and prostrating themselves before their current and former Queens.  We rode through the city and into the great tower that belonged to the ruler. 

Once settled and refreshed from the long ride, both women returned into the main audience chamber where I had awaited them for the past hour. 

Both approached me as I sat at on the steps at the foot of the throne and at once I noticed there was something different about them.  They were holding hands... 

“We have decided” began Claireopatra with a smile, that you should decide which of us is to rule.” 

Shaking my head I answered “I cannot make such a decision!” 

“Hmm, we thought as much” replied Kelopatra. 

“I won’t choose between you!  What man could make a decision between such beauty?” 

“Yes, we thought you would say that too!” said Kelopatra with a smile. 

“So” added Claireopatra “Since we’re both in love with you, yet neither one of us seems to have the power to make you stay here in Erectous-instantious” both women put their arms around each other “we thought that if we offered you both of us, we might convince you to stay.” 

“Won’t you wule with us both?  One King with two wovely Qweens at his side?” 

The combined charms of the Queen’s of Cumquicklious was working.  I could not resist and a smile formed upon my face. 

But in that moment my heart cried out and I knew I could not agree.  My smile faded and I confessed “I cannot rule with you.  Although I am tempted and together you will no doubt have the most loyal subjects on Earth, I must say no.  Your power is great and I do not doubt that you will be able to bend any man to you will, but there is another that I must seek out.” 

“Who?” they asked in unison. 

“My beloved Shannenous Dohertyous.  I cannot rest until I am with her.” 

Stepping towards me until their slender legs were close enough that my breath moved their light gowns, the Queen’s power trapped me. 

“Not even for a little while?” offered Claireopatra. 

A month later, exhausted beyond words, I made ready to depart.  My will had crumbled and I had stayed with the two beautiful Queens and experienced life a s King for the past several weeks, but now it was time to leave. 

“Must you weally leave us?” 

“I must” I answered Kelopatra with a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

“Don’t go” pleaded Claireopatra. 

“Your love for each other is strong now.  You will rule both wisely and compassionately.  Erectous-instantious will become the greatest city on Earth.  The land of Cumquicklious will-”

“NO!” cried Claireopatra.  “If you must go, then I decree,” she looked at Kelopatra as she spoke “that we shall rename Cumquicklious in honour of you.  From this day forth it shall be known as Cumagainous, in the never ending hope that you shall return to us and become our King.” 

Kelopatra nodded enthusiastically. 

Smiling at this great honour, I mounted my horse and looked back to the Queen’s.  They stood with an arm wrapped about one another and as I spurred my horse to movement, tears began to form in the eyes of both Queens. 

Kelopatra wept openly and then Claireopatra followed suit as I rode away and then did not look back. 

I am Adamous Hardous Manous and I am alone…  And thus, for now, I will proceed on my never ending quest to claim Shannenous Dohertyous for my Queen.  But I have no doubt there will be many other adventures on the road before me and together with my captains, we shall carve out new legends…  And rest assured, I shall tell you of these also…