Disclaimer: I am not and never was William Shakespeare, nor do I own the copyright on any of his work. The passage at the end is borrowed.

For Cristina, not that this has ever happened or ever will...this is a gift that you requested, not a come on. ;-P
Happy Birthday.

My sweet, androgynous ‘lover,'
you bring me to my knees
you're full of grotesque sugar,
you're so easy to please.

And physics don't regard you,
you're a mutant to yourself
you wear my bright blue lipstick,
you compliment my stealth
and when we're skipping backwards
or kissing in the back
we giggle, we've got knowledge
hidden behind the black
charred charcoal of our clothing,
we tear it just because
it's there and we feel lonely
stuck together with our pus.

My sweet, androgynous ‘lover,'
she bring me to my knees
she's full of grotesque sugar
she's so eager to please...

(and physics don't regard her, she's a mutant to herself
she wears my bright blue lipstick
she compliments my stealth
and when we're skipping backwards
or kissing in the back
we giggle, we've got knowledge
hidden behind the black
charred charcoal of our clothing,
we tear it just because
it's there and we are lonely
stuck together with our pus...)rapid whisper, as someone screams,

‘If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended:
That you have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear;
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.'(A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare.)