My sleep was shattered by the earsplitting buzz of my alarm clock. I
hit the snooze button for the sixteenth time, rolled over and fell back
asleep.

Exactly nine minutes later, the buzzing started again. I sighed, realizing
that I should probably wake up now. Reluctantly, I slid out of bed and
into an alternate dimension.

Not being a morning person, I didn't notice this at first. I shuffled
around the swirling colors, searching in vain for my slippers. Suddenly,
the swirling colors brought something to mind- I'm probably late for work
now. A few toasters flew by my right ear. I smiled and waved, then
started looking for my robe, which was also missing. I felt a tap on
my shoulder, turned and saw ET. Awwww, ET is so cute. I wished he'd
stop poking me in the eye with that fire poker though.

"Wait," I muttered, "This isn't right...... I haven't shaved yet."

Another search began- this time for my razor. I opened a door which
read "Do Not Enter," and saw a large AA battery with a face sitting on
the toilet.

"Sorry," I muttered, closing the door again. "Wait... this is all pretty
weird. First I can't find my slippers, or my robe, now it's my razor!
What is--- Dammit, I'm in the alternate dimension again aren't I?"

"Yup," said Mr Ed.

"Not again," I groaned, stepping into the portal and back into my bedroom.
"Man," I grabbed my razor, "I can tell already this day's gonna suck..."

-------

You have just experienced the first chapter to a strange and pointless
novel. I will write the second chapter when I feel like it. If I decide
that you are worthy. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! But maybe I'll write the second
chapter anyway.