( A Note From Andrea: As you may have noticed, I have not written this fine letter you see below. My friend Michelle is our Guest-Writer this evening, so please read and comfort her. She desperately needs it. ~ The Management)

To Whom it May Concern,

I received your name from a very good friend of mine, hearing that you were a good person to vent to about certain issues. Well, I'm afraid you must now listen to me as well, for there are few people who will understand what angers me so.

Why are people so stupid?

Yes, I know, life's most asked question. But seriously, why are they so stupid? What happened to logic actually being used? Like computers, for instance. Like a computer that will install a game, but then not play it! How does that make sense?

Logic has disappeared from the world, like an old childhood toy that someone got bored with. It has been overtaken by more irrelevant things, like trends and clothes and the admiration of members of the opposite sex. Girls have become ditzy preps with the attention span of a two-year-old! Always talking about the mundane! Practically selling their bodies to the nearest guy who's willing and able to screw them! Then they wonder why they're sixteen years old, pregnant, a high school dropout, and no one around to care. Because no one DOES care that they've wasted their lives away. If people had a better appreciation for education, the world would not be in the state it's in today.

I'm not preaching that people should appreciate school. My God, who would want to appreciate being in school for almost seven hours a day, five days a week? But people should at least take advantage of what's being taught some of it at least. Did anyone thing that maybe school would be more enjoyable if the world wasn't so corrupted by stupid, illogical, and irrelevant things like who's wearing the shortest skirt and who screwed the most guys last night? And people called Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera role models?! Who the hell came up with that?! It's like sticking a snake in the Arctic and expecting him to live. It just doesn't work.

Yes, I realize I've focused mostly on the idiocy of girls, but in my opinion, some girls are worse than guys. Some, but no all. Yet in most cases, guys are worst because after puberty they usually think with their smarter "brain."

Realize that this is a very general statement. Thankfully, there are still those who concentrate on more important things, those who want to do something meaningful with their life. Other than that, most of the others will probably end up as whores and pimps.

Oh, but wait, I'm sorry. Isn't that what every "ghetto" guy thinks of himself as, a "pimp"? Like it's supposed to be a GOOD thing? Do they think it'll actually get them anywhere? Oh, I can imagine that: a future employer asking, "Do you have any experience?" and the answer will be, "Yez, I'z wuz a pimp, yo," which will have absolutely NOTHING to do with the job or what the job entails. If I were that employer, I'd kick the moron out of the building just for the lack of proper English usage. Slang is one thing; it's something I can understand. But what is this "ghetto speak"?

For instance, these two phrases have haunted my abilities of comprehension: "Yo...wut it iz?" and "Fershizzle my nizzle." Umm...yeah. Sure, ok. "What it is," isn't that supposed to be "What is it?" as in asking what something IS? But according to some people, it's supposed to be some form of a greeting. A greeting? How in the name of God and all that is holy do they relate, "What it is?" to "How are you?" HOW?!

And another thing: "fershizzle my nizzle." What is that? It's beyond my understanding totally. Is it an insult, a pick-up line, what? It sounds like a horrendously deformed French phrase, or maybe even a meal. "Yes, I'd like to order the Fershizzle My Nizzle. Please hold the dressing." How do people some up with these things? What compels them to such stupidity?

Another thing that completely annoys the ever-living hell out of me. I'm sure those of you who are unfairly forced by your peers on the bus to listen to that horribly degrading STUFF people call rap "music" have heard this song, and I cringe every time it comes on and I don't have my CD player. Rap in itself is just annoying and doesn't make any sense, but the most horrible song at this point is time is "Right Thurr." For those of you who have not heard it, be truly thankful. It is the largest disgrace to the English language. "Thurr"?! "Curr"?! "Hurr"?! Does this look like some random planet in another universe where the intelligent level is below 60? Apparently it does, or people are just trying to make it that way!

Forgive me for my random raving, but sometimes this world angers me greatly. Everyday that passes, I feel as if my intelligence level is dropping lower and lower, until finally at the end of high school I am going to be a gibbering, drooling creature, curled up into a fetal position in a wheelchair. Brain scans will reveal that all thinking activity has been reduced to nothing. My brain will be a mass of rubbery goo, like Silly Putty.

It all really adds up to the stupidity of people influencing others. Like those stupid people who came up with Gogurt and then the peanut butter in that Gogurt-like packet. Why would you just eat peanut butter? You need something to go WITH the peanut butter, like gee, I don't know, maybe two slices of bread and jelly. My God, what a concept! And yogurt in a plastic packet? What was wrong with Columbo yogurt's spoon-in-a-lid? No, now you have to have a "cool" packet to appeal to all the kiddies. Like the different colored ketchup and mustard. BLUE KETCHUP?! God forbid we don't appeal to the young masses, because they must be corrupted.

Once again, forgive the ranting. I feel I have vented upon your ears quite long enough. So, I must close this letter. Thank you for your time; I really appreciate it greatly. And remember, save the squirrels. They are the future and our only hope.

-Lady Galadriel