This is not one of the happy ones I guess. Didn’t really expect to write something like this but it did happen to me…based on real life but using different names. I just hope some of you that are thinking this can learn from someone else that almost made a mistake. It might be a little different then it really was cause I have a bad memory so forgive me if I add more to it. I guess I’ll make it more interesting…my life’s quiet boring…or so I think.

‘The Beginning’

Hi my name is Josie Gutierrez. I am 15 years old. I have short reddish brown hair and brown eyes. I am 5ft. 4 1/2in and weigh 108 lbs. I am a violent but sweet person. I’m nice and extremely energetic. I get hyper and may laugh out of no where at times. I like making people smile and laugh. I guess you could say I’m the clown with my friends…along with others. I’m tomboyish like and I am a lesbian. Shocked? Well let me tell you my story. It all started when I lived in Texas and was starting 4th grade…

It was the 1st day of 4th grade. I am 9 years old and I was both scared and excited to get school started. As the past 3 grades I got on the bus, my sister not far behind, and headed for school. We sat down in the same seat. My sisters name is Hazel Gutierrez. She has shoulder length dark brown hair and eyes. She’s about 3ft. 10in. She is older then me by eleven months. She is a nice but mean person. It all depends.

I looked outside the window watching everything pass by trying to see everything I could. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, thu-thump, thu-thump. I could feel the butterfly’s flying around in my stomach around and around, making me feel kinda sick. Then saw the bus pulling into the school. I read the big words right in front. It read ‘North Bridge Elementary School’.

‘Wow this school is bigger then the other one’ I thought to myself. Everyone got off the bus and the teachers standing outside lead us inside and we all headed for our class. My sister and I split up and went to our different classes. I went in and saw some people already there, I went in slowly, but shyly. Not knowing if these people would be nice or mean. Be my friends or hate me just because they need a reason to hate at least one person…how would I know-

“Hello” said a voice, pulling me away from my thoughts. I turned to the voice and saw it was my teacher, I smile.

“My name is Ms. Turrubiates. May I ask what you name is.” She asks.

I speak very quietly “Josie.” She looked at me as if she didn’t hear me so I repeated “My name is Josie Gutierrez”

“Well it’s very nice to have you in my class. Go take a seat where ever you would like.”

I smile slightly and nod my head. She walked away to stand near the door incase anyone might need help with finding their class.

I look around and see an empty desk somewhat far away from all the students. I walk over to it, put my stuff down beside it and sit down. I look around and see people talking. I look to see if there’s anyone I know and to find there is no one I look I look down at the desk and see if anyone will come to me and might want to be my friend.

“Hi” I hear a voice say. I look up to see a girl around 3ft 7in about as tall as I was. She had light brown hair and brown eyes. She was in a dress a little below the knee. It was pink and had little flowers on it. Her hair was in a pony tail slightly messed up.

I smile “Hi.”

“My name is Annae”

“Mines Josie” She sits down next to me.

5 months later (sorrie with the skipping thing but I just wanted 2 get passed that little part)

I feel slightly out of the group. I didn’t feel as if I fit in. Every time the girls would talk all they talked about was what boy they liked or thought were cute. I did have a crush and his name was Karlos Mata he is only like 5 months older then me. He is about 5 in. taller then me. His hair is black and he has brown eyes. I mean, yes I thought guys were cute to but I never wanted to go talking about them all the time. When we went outside to play I always played with the guys. Playing marbles, tazos, race against them, play football, basketball. I was as much of a tomboy back then as I am now.

The weird thing is that I never really thought of guys as anything else but as friends. I was always attracted to, well…girls. I always caught myself staring at them. I did the best I could to hide it and it was all going good. I never told anyone. I guess I was scared that they’d hate me and bully me…well even worse then they are now anyway. I was always an easy target. Always the one to be picked on. I guess it’s ‘cause I was to nice.

I would make friends with new students that just come in ‘cause no one talks to them and the next thing I know, their not talking to me anymore. Almost every friend that I got left me to a new group of friends or just stopped being my friend period. I would always make new ones…but I was still lonely still had these weird urges to be with a females to touch them and be near them always. Being there protector. Helping them out. I guess I wasn’t as normal as people may have thought.

As I went from grade to grade I had many female crushes…and not so many male. I am now in 7th grade and am 12 years old. I moved. I live in Georgia now. I don’t really like it here and I miss all my friends. There’s to many trees. I mean I know that they give you oxygen but I think this is more then enough. It’s like everywhere you look there’s at least one tree, not once is there not a tree at all.

Well…it’s summer there’s a guy that lives next to me…whom I play baseball with and his family. He asked me out…the thing is he’s younger then me but I say what the hey. He’s my 1st boyfriend ever. Not once before him have I had a boyfriend.

Three days later

I see my sisters boyfriend approaching he‘s tall white (not trying 2 b racist) dirty blonde hair…and he smokes. His name was Jake. He stops and at the bottom of our stair and says “Jayce wants to break up with you.”

“What? How come? Couldn’t he have come and said it to me instead of having someone else?” I reply.

“I dunno. I guess he could of,” he says scratching his head.

“Where is he?” I ask wanting to cry but refuse because I feel as if I’ll be pathetic if I do.

“On the stairs of his trailer.”

I get up and head for his house. I see him sitting down fiddling with his hands and looking at the floor.

I walk up to him and ask “Why didn’t you just come and break up with me? Why did you and if you were just going to go out with me for three days then why did you ask me out at all?”

“I dunno and it’s for me to know and for you to find out.” he replies.

“And how exactly am I going to find out. I can’t think of a reason.” I say getting annoyed.

“The guys just told me something and you’re just going to have to figure it out.”

“Gods your such and ass hole!” I walk back to my house and go inside.

onto the 3rd week of 8th grade

I was in my key boarding class and the teacher put some words on the overhead and told us to copy them. I was writing and minding my own business when my friend Nate came and said “Hi.”

I look at him and smile “Hello”

“I have to tell you something…but don’t freak out, ok!” He says

I turn in my desk to face him, on my right side, and reply “Ok…try me.”

“I’m bisexual.” he says not showing as if he was scared. He didn’t stutter, he didn’t seem nervous he just said it.

I look at him for sec.

“Really? Are you for real?” He nods. “Me too. OMG it is so good to hear that someone else is. I thought I was the only one.” I say with relief.

He smiles “Really. I have a friend that is lez you wanna go out with her.” My eyes go wide. “She’s not bad. I’ll hook you up with Tabi. She’s a good friend of mine.”

I think for a second still in shock with the sudden question. “I dunno. I mean I just told you and already you’re trying to hook me up with someone. I mean I’ve been hiding this for quiet sometime how will I know how people will act. I mean I don’t really care but it seems a little scary for me and it’s new too.”

“She doesn’t bit Josie. She won’t hurt you.”

“It’s not that she won’t but the whole coming out of the closet thing. I’ve kept it secret for so long…I dunno” I say thinking of how people will treat me if I do decide to.

“It’ll pass don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I….”

Tazos- tazos are little paper circle things, about and inch thick or they can b 2 inches and be metal, that u try to flip over and then they become yours (I’m not good with describing so please forgive me)

Sorrie people but I am stopping it here I kinda gotta refresh my memory…and I wanted to leave it as a cliffhanger I wanted to make at least the ending interesting. My head hurts from thinking back so much. rubs head I don’t usually think ‘back’. Sorrie if this one is boring. Please review to see if I should continue. If not then I’ll just leave it or delete it.

As you can tell I skipped a lot but nothing important happened in between…so don’t worry you didn’t miss anything. I for one think it’s boring but I promise it will get interesting in later chapters and if not then feel free to flame me. Not on this one though. Thanxz and bai

Your one and only….Gir Garcia!