It began to eat away at her years ago. Girls. Girls were hot. Guys. Guys were hot. She . She felt dirty. No one could know. She shivered, pulling her quilt over her shoulders and squeezing the tears away. It hurt. Everything hurt.

.The girl sat up in her bed. Tink. She scrambled over to her window in the semi-darkness. "Jenna!" cried a familiar voice. Jenna slid open the window with some difficulty and peered down. "Jenna!"

A grin split her pretty young face, her tears banished at once. A thin boy with glasses and dark hair stood in the street, clutching a handful of rocks. "Jenna!" he shout-whispered. "Come out and play with me!"

Jenna shook her head. "Anthony, it's three a.m."

"Come out!" He was drunk.

Jenna laughed. "I can't. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Awwwwww." Even from here, she could tell he was pouting. "Please?"

"Anthony, you know I can't." He nodded, turned away and waved over his shoulder. Jenna shut the window and turned away. Tink-tink-tink-tink! She turned and opened the window. "What!?" she demanded, a little more irritably than she wanted to. She was tired.

Anthony grinned up at her. "Good night, beautiful." He waved and ran off.

She watched him go, smiling. He always made her feel better. She shut the window, heading back over to her bed. She sank down into it, placing her head back on her pillow. She sank into sleep almost immediately, her demons stolen away temporarily by the dashing boy form across the narrow street.

The sun filtered through the white lace around nine. Saturday. Jenna blinked. Her curly brown hair fell across her face and she sighed deeply. She flicked on the stereo and Harvey Danger blared at her. She smiled, pulling off yesterday's clothes and pulling on a peasant shirt and a simple pair of blue jeans. She ran her fingers through her hair. She caught her reflection in her full length mirror and frowned. She was short. Stocky, with wide hips and big tits that made her look fat in almost everything. Her face was heart shaped and young looking. Her eyes were wide and hazel, though the green was swallowed completely by brown at a distance, and they were framed with fantastically long lashes. She had a button nose and a small rose bud mouth. She hated the way she looked; though people labeled her as 'cute' or 'pretty' she never believed them.

She bowed her head, switched off her stereo and padded softly downstairs. Everyone was gone. She found the note on the table. 'Went to the store. We'll be back soon. Love ya! -Mom'

Breakfast. Jenna was always a strange eater. She grabbed a Star Crunch, a fruit cocktail cup, a salami sandwich and a glass of ice cold cola. She smiled as she sat down to eat. As she gulped the juice out of the cocktail cup and shoved the last half of the sandwich in her mouth there was a knock at the door.

She sighed and stood up. She opened the door. Anthony stood in the breezeway. She looked at him without expression through the screen door. "Hello," he said, flashing her a huge grin.

"Breakfast," she said.

"Ooo! Can I have some?"

Jenna smiled despite herself. "No. I'll be out in a minute." He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. Jenna went back to the table, downing and entire glass of soda in one gulp, following it with the entire Star Crunch. She slipped on her Birkenstocks on her way out the door. She stepped into the warm spring sunlight, Anthony following. She smiled, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. She . "What's the adventure today?"

"I was lonely. Chad and Brandon are over at Chad's and I couldn't get a ride."

Jenna looked at Anthony. She laughed and shook her head. "Come on, you insufferable little monkey. Let's go to the park and throw crabapples at bitchy little kids." She headed off across the wildly green lawn, the warm breeze tousling her hair and clothes. Anthony walked beside her. They approached the swings in silence. It was deserted, not unusual for the mornings.

Jenna sat on the middle swing, pushing back and forth slightly. Anthony sat on the one next to her. "I love the swings," said Jenna, pumping her legs to gain height. "They make me feel young ."

Anthony smiled, gaining height on his swing. "Yeah."

The silence between them was companionable. She wanted to talk to him. Really talk to him, but she didn't want anyone weighed down with her problems, and besides, they didn't bother her until late in the night anyway. She glanced over at him. His back hunched him unnaturally, scoliosis. His skin was most often a tannish-olive or and olivey-tan. His eyes were dark brown and hidden behind glasses. He was short, taller than her though that wasn't much of a feat.

Jenna was soaring, leaning back with her eyes closed as she hit the top of the swing and let go. She sailed through the air, lost a sandal, and landed on her knees in the stones. Anthony landed next to her. She pushed herself up. "That hurt," she laughed. She looked around. "You seen my shoes?"

Anthony smiled, picking her sandal up from off the merry-go-round and handing it to her. They smiled at each other. Suddenly, they were kissing. It was never clear who kissed who to begin with; it always happened so fast. Jenna wrapped her arms around Anthony's neck, Anthony's arms wrapping around her waist. Their bodies touched and electricity raced through them. As suddenly as the kiss began, it ended, both pulling away.

Jenna locked eyes with Anthony, panting, blushing. "We shouldn't do that. We're not together anymore." Anthony nodded.

"You're right." They had subconsciously slipped closer to one another again. "I gotta go." He stepped forward, hugging her briefly. He ran off, calling a goodbye behind him.

Jenna was shaking. She wiped tears that were forming in her eyes away. She mentally scolded herself for her moment of weakness. She was alone, all alone. She sat on the merry-go-round, breathing slowly, wiping dirt off her knees absentmindedly.

Dusk painted the sky in warm pastels. Jenna sat at the computer, her fingers clacking away at her most recent attempt at prize winning literature. It sucked, and she knew it. Her eyes reflected the unnatural white light. 'He held her in his arms the entire night, whispering that he would never leave again.' She paused in her frantic typing. She shook her head. "No," she said.

"No what?" asked a friendly voice. Jenna snapped her head up. A large blond boy with a comforting voice smiled through the window screen at her.

"Hey, Chad," laughed Jenna. "Brandon and Anthony out there too?"

"Of course we are," said a Hispanic boy with a squared off haircut as he pushed Chad out of the way. "Come out."

Jenna stood up, clicking save. She frowned. "Hang on a sec." She pressed backspace until the last paragraph was gone. "Perfect." She met them at the front door.

Her three best friends. They were the best friends anyone could ask for. They made her laugh. They liked her. They complimented her all the time. They made her feel like she was actually worth something. "Hey, guys."

Brandon threw an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, Satan, when are you gonna give up and let me fuck you?"

Jenna laughed and punched Brandon playfully in the stomach. "The second you stop bein' so greasy."

There was always an air of barely suppressed lust about Brandon that made him seem a little more greasy than he actually was. Brandon shook his head. "I'm not greasy. I'm just oily enough."
Jenna sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, guys, you got me. Where to?"
"Anthony's garage," Brandon said proudly as the four crossed the street slowly.
"Figured." Anthony's messy garage beckoned the quartet into its depths. The boys went ahead of Jenna, each sitting in a lawn chair. She frowned slightly. "Sometimes I hate you," she said.
They laughed, Brandon loudly advertising his lap as the best seat in the house. Jenna shook her head, casually perching on Chad's right leg, facing Anthony and Brandon, her side to Chad. He was considerably larger than she, so it only made sense in her mind. Chad wrapped an arm around her waist to maintain a sense of balance. "So," started Jenna. "What're you guys up to this afternoon?"
"Chillin'," said Anthony, pulling a cigarette out of his pack. "Thinkin' about drinking those beers in the fridge." He motioned with his thumb behind him, offering a ciagerette to Chad at the same time. Brandon was already searching for his light. Chad took one and Jenna climbed off his lap. The three fumbled around, looking for a lighter with fluid. With a small 'scritch', Jenna held out a flame on an orange lighter.
"Those beers are way too old. They'll probably taste skunk," she said softly as the boys lit their cigarettes.
Anthony met Jenna's eyes steadily as he took his first drag. She watched his eyes carefully. She hated that they smoked. It was going to kill looked away. They didn't listen, so there was no use saying anything again.
"Well, they're what we got," said Brandon through a haze of cigarette smoke. Jenna let out a little cough as she breathed in. All three of the boys' eyes immediately snapped on her.
"Oh, sorry," said Chad. "Let's go outside. There's a breeze."
A warm spring breeze carried little white wisps of smoke to the west. Jenna stood upwind from them. She leaned against Anthony's mother's red sports car. She ran a hand longingly over the familiar headlight.
"Damn you look sexy on that car," said Brandon.
Jenna looked up at him. "Anyone could look sexy on this car. Hell," she said, cocking her head slightly, " you could look sexy on this car."
Chad and Anthony laughed, but Brandon was determined to be lewd. "You know, you should strip for us. Then we could see your tits for free."
Jenna smiled. "I don't do anything free."
"That's not what I he-" Anthony slapped him upside the head but it was too late. Jenna's face had darkened.
"I'm gonna go, guys," she murmured. She could feel a heavy weight pressing on her chest, choking her, killing her. "See you later."
Chad called that he loved her to her back. She only showed she had heard with a raised hand. Anthony smoked in silence, watching her shut the door.

She stared at the ceiling. It was late. She hated when it was late. It always felt so ..
She heaved herself to her feet. Her chest bounced in a painful way and she took a moment to notice how much it actually had hurt. Tink... slid open the window and looked down. Chad waved. "Come out and play with us," asked Anthony. Brandon was running around like an idiot.
"It's late."
Anthony frowned. "Later, then."
"Good night!" yelled Brandon.
"Shut up, Brandon!" Jenna said harshly. He laughed and twirled.
"Good night, Jenna," said Chad. Jenna shut the window and turned from them. Idiots. She laid back down and ignored the fluttering in her stomach until she was asleep.
She a grey her .violence.
She sat straight up, panting and sweating. The friendly sun shone through her windows. She threw off her blankets, blinking back tears from the dream. She had