Continuation of Life.

The light is mottled and yellow,

As it rains down on my face,

My guitar feels cold as I hold a chord,

The room is still and I can hear nothing.

There’s nothing good in this spotlight,

Perhaps anything was too good for me,

I take a breath and open my mouth,

To proclaim my innocence defiled.

My shoes feel too big for my feet,

If I try to move away I stumble,

I just wish there was someone here,

There’s a herd of sheep in front of me,

And a murderer behind my back.

It’s as if life up to this point was a struggle,

Now at the pinnacle of eventuation,

I’m not even a legal citizen quite yet,

If I can’t continue through this fog it’s worthless.

But wasn’t it pointless to begin at all,

Stressing and cutting through years,

My wrists are stained with scars,

I want to lay my heart bare but it’s gone.

The people watch me as I flounder,

My eyes gasp for breath as they stare,

They should relate to me in my pain,

From the broken family genre of sad eyes.

And as I strike one chord, following it with another,

The music brings bittersweet tears,

The harmonies bring a sense of belonging,

It’s not for them I live, but for the music,

But like the circle it can tear me apart,

With the capability to heal and soothe.

I shut my eyes and bare my soul,

Afterwards they stare as I open my eyes,

In the back I see a long past lover,

His eyes filled with confusion and something foreign.

In his hand there’s a single yellow rose,

Forgotten as it wilts in the humidity,

I feel I made a mistake bringing my truths,

He turned on his heel and left the room.

The rose still lies there after the show,

Bruised, torn and trodden into the floor,

The petals fall off but the stem is strong,

The scent is pure and still beautiful.

09/08/03