“I see you looking, wanting to know what happened, but not rude enough to ask. I appreciate it. I’ll tell you, if you think you are strong enough to take it.

“Yes? Very well. I was outside at the time, mowing the yard, when Bethie—our next-door neighbour—yelled at me. ‘Ask those sisters of yours if they want to go to the park with me!’

“ ‘Okay!’ I yelled back, happy to take a break. It was damned hot outside—must have been 95*. I shut off the mower and went inside. ‘Hey, girls, Bethie wants to know if you want to go to the park,’ I told them.

“ ‘YES YES YES!’ they yelled, jumping around me excitedly. I laughed. They were always so full of energy, but that was natural. Erin was four and Shannon six. Kids that age always have tons of energy.

“ ‘Put on your shoes then and I’ll tell Bethie.’ I grabbed a bottle of water and drank it, then went outside. ‘They’ll be out in a minute,’ I told Bethie. ‘They have to put on their shoes.’ I finished with the front yard just as they set off, and waved to them as I went to the back. I started up the mower again. They were walking to the park, since it was only about 15 minutes to get there. About five minutes after I started the mower, I heard a car screech on the road. Not that uncommon. I thought nothing about it and kept mowing. I finished about a half-hour later and put up the mower. I went in the house and took a shower immediately. I didn’t see Da as I went through the living room, but I figured he was taking a nap in his room. After I finished my shower, I went in the living room and flopped on the couch. I picked up the remote and started watching TV. About an hour later, around 6, I went and knocked on his door. ‘Da, do you want me to start supper?’ No answer. I opened his door and flipped on the light. The room was empty. So I went to see if the van was here. The driveway was empty. Hmm. Maybe he went to the park to get the girls. About that time, Bethie’s daughter Liz got home from a friend’s house.

“ ‘Hey Liz, come over here! Your mum took the girls to the park.’ She came over to me. ‘Have you eaten supper yet?’

“ ‘Nope,’ she answered and began playing with the kittens.

“I went in the house and began making spaghetti. We ate, but I was starting to get worried. This was starting to seem a lot like a year ago when I came home to an empty house, only to find out that Mum had died.

“After we finished, Liz wanted to watch a movie, so I popped it in the VCR and let her watch. By the time it was over, it was past her bedtime. I loaned her a nightshirt and put her to bed in my room. She was scared about what had happened to keep her mum from coming back. I told her not to worry, I was sure Bethie was fine.

“Finally, after Liz fell asleep and I paced back and forth, Da pulled up. He looked his usual emotionless self, if a bit more haggard. ‘Bethie’s dead, and Shannon and Erin are in a coma. A car hit them.’

“I reconstructed later what had happened. Brad, the man from across the street, had been sitting on the porch when he had seen the car hit them. That was the car squeal I heard. Bethie had thrown herself in front of the girls to try and save them, and was killed instantly.”

There is a long pause in the recital.

“Well, what happened?” you ask, impatient to know the end. I smile sadly.

“Shannon passed away a couple weeks later. She had never woken up.” Tears fill my eyes. “And Erin—my beautiful, lively Erin, always so bright and adventurous—that is her you see. She lost both legs and an arm, and is severely retarded. She just turned 16. She should be driving now, not still having to be fed and have a diaper changed.” I hug her. “But we get along. I take care of her. Da killed himself the day I turned 18. The note said ‘I just can’t take it anymore.’ Couldn’t take what? He didn’t do anything. Da’s family has disowned us, and Mum’s parents died before the girls were born. She had no siblings. It’s a good thing I’m twelve years older than Erin, so I can take care of her….  It’s been hard, but I’ve managed. We’ve managed. I work at home so I can take care of her. I took a nursing course to help. We’ll survive—I’ll survive.” I shake my head.

“I just can’t believe it sometimes.. She was only four, but looked forward to driving. I had just gotten my license, so she was always talking about being old enough, and about dating, and she couldn’t wait to go to school. She was so bright, so active…. Why her?” There’s a longer pause.

“What about the driver?”

“The driver?” I laugh bitterly. “The driver was never caught. There’s justice for you.”