For most people, high school is either about slacking off and having fun or studying and prepping for college, however in both cases one thing is common to both types of students: relationships, especially ties with those of the opposite gender. Of course, a lot of the aspects of an average couple have changed since elementary or perhaps junior high. No longer do we have the innocent hand holding, hugs, and slow dances, but rather intense makeout sessions in which a guy’s hand crawls up a girl’s skirt and more often then not gets slapped after which he is very ungraciously kicked to the curb (sometimes literally as well as figuratively). Courtship actually comes into practice, so there is no “one date and now I’m going out with you” status conferred on a couple anymore. Women’s expectations have also slightly been altered from younger days because personality actually counts for something instead of just good looks when it comes to looking for a boyfriend (this may also be the case for guys looking for girls, but 95% of the time we’re just perverts looking where we shouldn’t.). There are a great many other facets but in short, the game of love and romance has become infinitely more complex. In spite of this however, one thing about relationships has not changed and that is the fact that most of them only last about a month or two (if not a lesser period of time). This is often times unfortunate because the emotions involved are a lot more real then they were before leaving at least one person in the broken bond devastated.

Now I’m sure you ladies are asking why I’m even talking about this since its always the girls that get hurt in these breakups and I’m a guy so therefore should not give a damn in the true style of my fellow males. Well, the truth is gals, there are a couple of us who actually uphold chivalry (or bushido, if you want to go eastern) to a degree these days but sorry to say, we’re not handsome quarterback or that cutie with the nice car and shades. Nor are we that dreamy hunk sitting next to your far right in Algebra, or even that teen idol on the screen singing lyrics of love. As a matter of fact, you’ve probably been overlooking us as a viable source of anything except mockery ever since we got that pair of coke bottle glasses, forgot to update our wardrobe, or started playing that obscure game that no one understood. Yes that’s right, we’re the “out-crowd”. While everyone else was out playing football, we “geeks” were inside the library reading, dreaming, and flying beyond human comprehension. At the dances, we were the ones standing against the wall looking at the floor or staring forlornly off into space next to the punch bowl. We were all there, right beside you all along as your eyes drifted over us, not giving us a second glance and when we ARE noticed, we hid in that shadowy corner of the third floor science corridor for fear of persecution. Like all the other guys though, we still have a fascination with women in the end but unlike the “normal people” we inevitably have an innate fear of even getting within twenty feet of one, thereby depriving you of the chance to meet us. So we just sit and watch as the years go by one at a time. The pretty little girls we once had crushes on grow more beautiful both physically and mentally, the cool guys scoop them up by the handful, and we can do nothing except mouth the words that we want to say so badly.

Okay, so let me get to the point. Ladies, if you’re tired of the jerks, pervert, and the boring assholes you’ve had for boyfriends since you started dating, you’re looking in the wrong places. The noble knights of old still exist however we aren’t up on the field practicing to catch that game-winning pass. No, we’re actually down and to the right in that dark corner where no one cares to go, curled up reading a bit of sweet poetry that will never be said to anyone except to that nonexistent someone special. Our armor may not look all that great and the swords we never got to wield may be a bit rusty, but the will to protect and cherish still runs strong within us even without an object of our affection. However, as long lasting as our hopes for true love are, we don’t have much longer. The years grow long as our hearts grow more cold and bitter by each passing day, the wounds left by unkindness bleeding to no end until our souls die knowing no happiness. So, fair, untouchable maidens, we are willing to fight for you to the end but first, I beg of you save us from these nightmarish illusions that for so long have bound to the devouring nothingness of human apathy.