Just so you know: The story really isn't true, because if it were, you couldn't possibly be reading it.

The story you are about to read is true:

Before we begin we must first tell you a little bit about the quaffits. A quaffit is a small woodland creature about the size of a handful of peas. The bright green stripes on their backs repel all animals except the domestic house cat. This green stripe also really hurts if you lick it. For this reason, and this reason alone, licking the quaffit is not recommended. The rest of its body is dark brown. Contrary to what you may all be thinking it is not fur. It is more like shag carpeting. That, said lets begin the story.

"Bbbrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm! Eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr! Ahhhhhhh! Man over board! Man over board! I'll get the life boat!... Who took the life boat?!" Jimmy loved playing in the tub, but not as much as he loved watching old comedies. This one is his favorite, "Get Over It". He hadn't a clue who stared in it and he didn't care. It was at his favorite part when suddenly from the kitchen came a yell.

"Jimmy, you're going to be late for work!" his wife called.

Jimmy sighed, got off the beanbag chair from which he was sitting, walked up the stairs, and fell back down when he tripped on what looked to be a ball of shag carpeting that got in a fight with a paint brush filled with bright green paint. The ball of carpet squeaked and ran up the stairs in a green-brown blur. This seemed particularly odd to Jimmy, especially because he didn't have shag carpeting. When he was safely up the stairs he walked into the bathroom to draw a bath. Inside the bathtub were four more balls of carpeting. He stepped on each one, they squeaked, and then ran away as he had hoped they would.

What Jimmy didn't know was that he was saving the world by stepping on these little buggers. He was stepping on the work of Dr. Survocheeksvienter. His was developing small furry animals called quaffits. His animals could suck down an 8 ounce glass of water before he could say Dr. Survocheeksvienter. His plan was to set the quaffits loose in the oceans and dry them out. He was convinced that he would rule the world. The one quirk the quaffits had was that being stepped on frighten them so much they run and commit suicide. He meant to put wings on the quaffits but spent all the wing money on a T.V. Guide subscription. Oh, one more thing, Dr. Survocheeksvienter was a goblin.

Jimmy got in the bathtub when it was full and began to play with his submarine. He was about to fire the first torpedo when six carpet balls jumped into the tub. Within seconds the bathtub was empty. The carpet balls jumped out of the tub and into the hamper just as Jimmy's wife walked into the room.

After a long awkward pause all Jimmy could say was "carpet balls".

"Their not that hairy Jimmy" his wife replied.

"No, in the hamper, carpet balls."

"Who cares? I came up here to tell you Florida is growing!" she said with conviction. "It looks like handfuls of hairy peas are sucking up the water."

"That same thing just happened to me." Jimmy said.

Jimmy got out of the tub, put on a robe, and went down stairs to watch the carnage unfold. By the time he got down stairs Florida was connected to Central America. "This is unbelievable, before our own eyes the Atlantic Ocean is disappearing. If you thought the may fly attack was a horrible catastrophe this should change your mind.. This just in, the Atlantic is now disappearing as well. This is horrible. I fear this is the----------." The T.V. cut out and the picture was replaced by the picture of a goblin looking guy with a black scarf around his neck.

"I am Dr. Survocheeksvienter. I am responsible for the sudden evaporation of the world's oceans. I am taking over the world. Good bye." The T.V. cut out again and all that could be heard was a laugh that sounded much like a MUHAHAHAHAHA.

Jimmy and his wife looked at each other with a look of fear just as thousands of quaffits invaded the house through the windows, doors, and chimneys. Jimmy started to scream and his wife cried out "Jimmy, do someth..." They were covered by quaffits.

THE END

*** You can come up with your own idea of what happened at the end there but I'm pretty sure the world was taken over by Mr. Survocheeksvienter. ***