A/N : Hee! I messed up a little in the last chapter. So you're clear, my demon-boy has been on Earth for ONE YEAR. A little typing confusion and it sucks bad. When I put this on my web site, it should be corrected!

The Burning

Part Three

"A Little Bit of Magic"

Song "Unwell" by Matchbox 20
~~~

I should be doing something.

But no, I'm lying here, comfortably numb, alone with my thoughts. It's wonderfully quiet. I've grown to like the quiet and the solitude. It's been a year. . .

Even though it's perfectly silent, I can't get to sleep. Counting sheep might work.

One. . . Two. . . Three. . . . . . .

Bright, hot sunlight is pouring through the window and onto my legs. The cat has jumped up onto my bed, and it vibrating on my knees. She wants food.

Crap. I've checked everywhere - under the sink and in the cabinet. I need to go out for cat food. I hate leaving the house.

My chest is getting tight, and the room is spinning. Breathe. Breathe. It's going to be okay. Breathe.

This happens every time I have to leave the house. I'll get over it someday. I think. Breathe. It's so hard.
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I've seen psychologists. They say that I'm not crazy, just grieving.

I know I seem crazy. You would be, too, in my situation.

I'm a witch. About a year ago I summoned a demon, just to see if I could, you know. Well, he was the wrong sort. He ended up torturing my husband to death and feeding on his pain. Not his flesh, but the pain that he felt.

I was really messed up after that. I was depressed, I slept all the time, didn't eat. But I'm really getting better now. I've stabilized my life. I'm really into art, I like making people happy. The little old lady across the hall from me sometimes watches my cat while I go serve soup in homeless shelters and things like that. I feel so bad for loosing a demon on the world.

I still freak out sometimes, though. When I see a picture of Kale, or one of his shirts in the storage bin, I get all out of breath and teary. And it's always an effort to leave the house.

I still don't have many friends. In fact, Mrs. Ligt, the lady across the hall, is the only one I talk to.

But I'm getting out more. Maybe next time I go to the Kitchen on 45th and Vine I'll talk to the girl the hands out the sandwiches. She seems very nice.

Maybe I'll be more like I used to be. Everyone said I was bubbly and nice. I'd like to be nice. Bubbly, I'm not sure about. But nice. Nice is good.

I'm talking to myself in public

I think that maybe these people think I'm insane, though. I keep telling myself to breathe and calm down. I'll be okay in a few minutes. I need to get used to the space.

They keep staring at me. It's unnerving. And whispering amongst themselves.

They're talking about that crazy woman with the long red hair and the pink handbag. That's me. I hate it.

They don't think I can, but I know when people talk about me. I hate it. They don't understand me. They've never been through what I've been through.

Still. . . what if I am insane?

I've gone through it over and over in my head. If I was crazy, would I know it? Would I deny it? How could I tell.

Maybe I am insane and everyone knows it. What if I'm the last to know?
Or maybe they are all the crazy ones. Maybe I'm the only sane person left in the world.

I glance around. If I am insane, wouldn't someone know? Would someone call them?

I suddenly realize what I've been doing and laugh softly to myself. I'm becoming paranoid. I'm not insane, just insecure. That's what Mrs. Ligt says. She would know, she used to be a psychologist. She assures me that I'm sane and so are most of the people around me. Well, at least, as sane as a person gets. Everyone is a little insane.

I have my moments though. I smile gently at a little boy holding a balloon and he grins. Cat food. Right.

It's a beautiful day. I'm going to enjoy it. Maybe I'll take a stroll in the park before I get my cat food.

Then I'll go back to my little apartment and lie in bed and think. I've had too much time to think. That's what's really making me insane.

I need to go out and do something. Something "normal" like go dancing or to a movie.

Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow night I'll go dancing. But today. . . Today I'm gonna get some cat food.

This story is copyright Samantha Styers 2003. This will be edited and published at a later, undefined date. Penalty of theft will be severe.