Daisy

{ Two people-1 and 2, whichever gender you think fits-1 is singing, 2 is minding his/her own business }

1: Daisy, Daisy,

Something that rhymes with do.

I'm so crazy

Over the love of you.

Something a something marriage

For we can't afford no carriage-

{ At this, 2 looks over }

2: A carriage.

{ 1 stammers, looks back }

1: What??

2: You should have said a carriage.

{ 1 contemplates, waves a thoughtful finger at 2 }

1: Not necessarily.

2: How do you mean?

1: What do you mean.

2: No, you can say how.

1: No I can't. You can. I don't know.

2: Don't know what?

1: Don't know how.

2: How to what?

1: How to how. How to what? How to what! What? How-why-?

2: Good question. Why? Let's get back.

1: Back-

2: Back to a carriage.

1: Back to no carriage. Certain situations allow you to not afford no carriage. Think objectively. Say someone demands a carriage for their getaway-

2: His or her getaway-

1: Right. And they've got a gun to your head. You can't afford to have no carriage. You had better have a carriage, or you's dead. And I meant that deliberately. So shut up.

2: Oh, OK. I get it. You're saying that no carriage is acceptable in some cases. I thought you meant there was no carriage all the time.

1: What?

{ 2 throws hands in the air and releases a desperate expression }

2: I don't know! I thought I'd tag along and pretend I got it so I can get out of this. Could get out of this. I couldn't. Please clue me in.

1: It's very simple, here, look at it like-

2: Simplify it some more. I'm pretty stupid with this.

1: OK. If you can afford a carriage, that's fine. But forget it. It doesn't matter. With me so far?

2: I think. I've forgotten everything-like I'm supposed to, right?

1: Right. That's good. Now imagine I'm a bank robber and I want safe passage from one of those old western towns. Remember those?

2: Wait-I'm supposed to remember now?

1: Just remember the old Western Frontier towns. Got it?

2: Yeah. With the saloons? And the clock towers?

1: Exactly. Now you're the banker, and you're in the bank now. You're being robbed for all you've got and now the robber has everything. You know he's going to get away. So you want him out ASAP. But he asks for safe passage out and into the next town. No one knows about this, OK?

{ 2 nods }

1: So he wants it to stay that way. He asks you for a carriage to ride in, but-OOPS! You haven't got one. See, now is the time when you can't afford to have no carriage. You see?

2: Yep, thanks for clearing that up. { Looks honest }

1: Furthermore, you can't afford a carriage either. Banking back then was a tough profession. At least, I think. So you can't afford a carriage or no carriage. Bit of a twist, huh?

2: Huh? What mean you that by?

1: What sayeth you now-just? { Makes a wrenching face } AAAH! Someone is wickedly contorting our grammar! What is it?

{ 2 fights as well }

2: I-don't-know-Can't-fight it-for long-I'm-I'm-Falling under, I'm, yes.

1: I is same her.

{ Enter Yoda. Walks up to them with a cane and looks thoughtfully into each person's eyes }

YODA: To fight use the force, you must, yes.

1: Who be dat?

2: Yeh, yoo-who, who you?

YODA: Yoda I am, mm-hm.

2: Where popeth uppeth you from-? And- { Fights again } Oh no! I just ended a sentence in a prep-a prep-preposition. { Fights harder yet, face contorted with rage and strain } Ugh.

YODA: Off go I must, now. Goodbye.

1: Late!

2: Hold up! Back cometh you! Order now I do thine ass! Alas, no, it be cannot. Whence doest this evil plague flood rain like?

{ Enter Cobster. First, booming laugh sounds, apparently shaking the ground. Then bright lights from either side, drowning out background }

COBSTER: HAHAHAHA! Y'all bow befow me! I is da author! I can does whats I like witchu, like, whatevuh the hey-ell I wantstado.

2: I be tripping, yo! Dis dude bein' a gramma nightmare!

COBSTER: Now, my bidding do! Yo knees, yo. Wait, I doesn't hafta orda ya.

{ HAHAHAHAHA! Suckers! Y'all be doin my biddin' all up-n-down this hood! I be da man-o all these her streets! Suckas! What? What?? Sucka what?? }

----Will 1 and 2 get their freedom back? Will 1 have to sacrifice his/herself for 2? Or Vice-versa? Will you ever find out? NO! BECAUSE I BE DA AUTHOR! DESE STREETS BE MINE RIGH' HER! SUCKA, BLOWE!