At first it didn't seem true. Her body went into a quasi state of shock, failing to move or respond. She was in a different reality, telling herself over and over the woman was wrong. This was not true. She would not allow herself to be late and miss the most important event in her life. The woman stared at her glazed over eyes. She couldn't move petrified her life had come to an end.

Everything in her died as the words sank in. The noise around her deafened and everything went black. A burning sensation turned into an atomic explosion in her gut. She doubled over and then collapsed onto the ground.

"Excuse me?" the woman asked after a moment, "are you okay?" The woman waved her hand slowly in front of her face.

Her eyes fluttered open and then locked on the woman, a heavy gloom in them. There was this rage in her now. She felt a depraved anger for the woman, the one who officially ruined everything.

The woman was the one her responsible the time, she convinced herself. Tears began to pour out of the clouds in her eyes. She hung her head and clenched her hands into fists hanging at her sides.

The woman was still watching her, standing impatiently for some kind of response from her. The woman slowly began to notice the hate growing in her eyes. The woman stopped moving her arms from her hips to sides, and left them hanging loosing from her shoulders. The woman dropped her mouth half open, as if words were meant to be coming out. The woman glanced down at her watch, and she followed her with her eyes. Damn that woman's masochist wristwatch! The reprehensible device should not be in functioning order. She took a step toward the woman. The woman took a step back.

More tears rolled down her cheeks and she glared at the woman, "Why? Why is this the way is always happens?"

"Excuse me?" the woman asked, lowering her shield of defense.

"My focus for years now has been the false hope that things would get better." She stated firmly, yet sobbing jointly. Her mind was steady sure what was about to happen and clearing out its last thoughts. She spoke disassociated from the reality of what she was saying. "Though the notion hardly seemed likely, I forced my logical senses to succumb to it. Only because I was hoping, almost praying, I would find some type of love from someone to save me from chain of loneliness."

She stopped talking for a moment and glared at the woman's watch, wanting to rip it off the arm and smash it, using the broken pieces to slice her wrists. With no thought to the action, she leaped forward grabbing the woman's arm and breaking the clasp that held the watch on. The woman twisted her arm free and the watch fell to the ground.

"What the fuck?" the woman shouted.

She, without hesitation, bent at the knee and picked up the watch. She walked over to the edge of the sidewalk and placed the watch on the curb before she lifted herself into the air and landed directly on it. The watch cracked. She repeated the motion again and it shattered.

"I never thought I believed in love," She said calmly looking into the woman's eyes bending over the pieces of broken watch. She lifted a sliver of glass from the face of the watch. "I thought love didn't exist, not unconditionally love. And then I got a glimpse of it, a tiny drop to taste. And I wanted to have it, this love. I wish more than anything I could end my life saying so. Alas, it seems that want little desires I indulged no longer calm my urge to die." She took the sliver and pressed it up against her wrist pressing hard as the blade cut into her vein. The woman squealed in horror and shock. With one hand she dug in her purse for cell phone careful not to take her eyes of the crazed girl.

"And sure, he may not agree, fuck him, he didn't do a very good job of convincing me otherwise, did he?" She asked smiling as she raised her other wrist and dragged the piece of glass into it. Blood bloomed from behind the sharp edge and ran out the sides of the wound. She noticed the woman dialing her cell phone and she grabbed the woman. "Do not misinterpret this as an ill-fated attempt at proving my point." She said raising her bloody wrists.

"Why are you doing this?" The woman asked shaking herself free, delaying calling the police.

"I have my guarded reason why I choose to die." She craved another deep wound into her forearm, now covered in blood. "Why waste my time explaining? It's not like anyone ever listened anyway."

"I'll listen," The woman offered.

"Bullshit!" She screamed raising her sharp edge of glass to the woman's throat, "You are part of the reason I'm stuck in this position anyway." She backed away after an intimidating stare, turning her back to dig out more blood from under her raw flesh.

She didn't hear woman call the police, leaving a frantic message. She sat on the sidewalk feeling lightheaded, covered in her own blood. She smiled as her eyes rolled back in her head. She looked at the four gashes across her arms, blood swiftly leaked from the slashes on her wrists. A deep and numbing throbbing came from each abrasion causing a disassociative euphoria.

"I just called the police," the woman declared slapping her hands onto her hips, "You fucking psycho."

The words took longer to process than it should have. Once properly digested she turned her head behind her to fiercely stare at the woman. In her peripheral vision she caught the glare of an automobile's headlights. She turned her head away and faced the moving vehicle to see it was a rather large charter bus. Suddenly an idea came to her. She watched the bus progress closer to her as she spoke to the woman, "Say what you will. Feelings escape me, I seem to be dead."

With precise and perfect time she hurled her bloody body in front of the speeding mass. There was no time for the driver to break; the bus crashed against her with violent force. Blood splattered on the windshield and screams were heard from the driver and passengers. The woman on the sidewalk helplessly watched, completely flabbergasted.

The impact of the bus's hit sent her body forward onto the ground. She winced as she landed on the asphalt feeling bones shattered beneath her skin. The bus skidded to a bumpy stop, her body lying broken below it. There was a brilliant flash of pain spanning her entire body and hot tears slid from her eyes. She began to regret what she had just done.

Everything around her seemed to be blurred, as if a fog had surrounded her. There were vague screams and shrieks. She picked up the faint cry of ambulances rushing to her death. She could feel a hand reaching for her, but she didn't try to grab it.

She heard voices pleading for her to respond and she wanted to yell back that everything was fine. Even though nothing was.

She had nothing left, in a span of sixty seconds her dreams were gone. He had left her, no doubt, with little hesitation. He was the only person to love her but he didn't really love her at all. Everything she had believed in was gone, proving to be a fallacy. He was supposed to be her god. But he wasn't.

Period. And so, she had to die.

No more bullshit, she thought a distant smile on her lips, no more feelings.

This is how it's going to end? The voice growled.

Yes. She answered without moving her lips.

You're fine with giving up. The voice countered.

There is a sort of comforting satisfaction I feel in ending my own life. I die with control. After living a life consistently out of my control, being a puppet of destiny, emotions, drugs, to die under my own terms gives me fulfillment, closure. There is finally an end to my constant torture, all the evil that runs through and around me. I'll silence the voices in my head-you. And kill off the last of my emotions. You see, this is not giving up but merely ending what should have never began. She rationalized to the voice.

But the voice didn't answer. Instead she heard the sounds of men, rescue workers, coming closer and closer to her.

She struggled to open her eyes or to make sound, but neither happened. Her body steadily became numb and she could feel a certain presence of death near her. Everything stopped hurting suddenly and her thoughts went blank, with the final memory of her lost knight.

She thought she felt the warmth of a human hand on her flesh, but then everything went black.

A/N Due to certain living circumstances, I no longer have direct internet access. Ergo, I'm saying goodbye for awhile. For those of you who are fans of my work, I will return. I'm working on my next project. And it will be worth the wait, I promise. AS for this story, I finally finished it, and thanks to everyone who offered advice or praise. Especially, my sister. I miss you.

Until next time...

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