I sank to the ground, speechless. A soldier, broken. Victory was snatched from right beneath the ham and butter. That's me, a soldier. A broken soldier. A broken soldier without her cheesecake. A solitary tear tried to make it's way down my face.

My Dad came into the kitchen and saw my forlorn body crumpled and defeated in front of the open fridge.

"Lee? What's wrong?" His eyes switched from me to the fridge.

"THE BEER! THE BEER'S GETTING WARM, LEE? WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME ARE YOU PLAYING AT? HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY BESERK, LEE?"

I didn't answer. I was still mourning the disappearance of my soulmate.

He ran towards the fridge and quickly but carefully shut it. Then on second thought, he opened it again and took out a can of beer. And shut it again. Feeling quite content, he sauntered out of the kitchen and presumingly, conveniently placed himself on the couch to watch the footy.

I stood myself up and sniffed bravely. It was there and then that I decided that I would get my cake, and that I would eat it. That's right. Leone the righteous. Leone the headstrong.

First stop, big brother.

I marched into his room and did my best to look demanding.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY CHEESECAKE?"

He swivelled around away from his computer to face me.

"I ate it."

"You did WHAT?!?!"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"I put it in my mouth, used these things," He pointed at his teeth, "to munch it all up into a gooey disgusting pulp, and sent it down my foodhole for it to come out of my ass."

I can't believe this. My nineteen year old brother has eaten my soulmate.

"Did you realise," I was practically quivering with anger and dismay, "That that was my cheesecake? I walked all the way to the boulangerie to get that especially? That was top notch cheesecake, dude. GET YOUR OWN." I stomped out, and just before I slammed the door I caught another one of his eye rolls. My brother is such a jerk. I was being perfectly rational.

I don't break promises. I shall get my cake, and eat it.

Now, what from here?

~Review dudes~