I Deserve This

(A/N: Written during a bad day. And yes, the italics are actual quotes from people. Don‘t worry if I quoted you, most of the quotes I used had nothing to do with why I was having a bad day. )

Cold wind

Cold inside

Cold outside

And everyplace in between

Icy tears

Blinking them away

And you can’t even tell

Because you’re not even here

I’m dead now

Hollow

And cold

And numb

And the pain

Somehow manages to leak through again

And I hear your attempts to be nice

And I know I don’t deserve it

I’m hearing your apologies

And you can’t hear me screaming

Life sucks

Doesn’t it?

And you’re not even here to care

You left long ago

The calliope of faces

Laughing

Dancing

Happy people

Not noticing the solemn one among them

Me

Even though the ground is littered

With the broken bits of my soul

And it hurts

So much

And I just want it to go away

But I don’t know what to do anymore

And the tears come back

The icy cold tears

And you don’t notice anymore

No one notices anymore

Because I’m nothing to you

Or to them

I’m just a cold wind

Filled with hate and

Bitterness

And I know

Even now

That I deserve this…