The Legend Of
The Princess Of Purple

I am Alex, the Princess of Purple. If you dare not say that I do not dare to think that I do not exist is only not thinkable and unimaginable. For feet cannot be purple and only higher in the hands does that type of purple exist within my kingdom which most say is not good enough to not be a non- existent fake part that exists not or near my imagination.

How dare you. How dare YOU! How dare you dare my how dare you. How dare you dare my how dare you that dares you to how dare me.

The other day I went to Marky's Market making millions where we went where we were watchable and made Marky make Marky's eyes stare at us while Marky made sure he saw us slip Marky's Milky Way into our coats under his view which he saw. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.

Feeling frightened, fat Fred felt for fifteen french fries.

Eager Eddie Eats Ethiopians eyes.

Nobody insults a princess, especially one that is of the purple.

10,000 deaths are not enough for you!

I agree half-heartedly.

By that I mean when my blood pumps it enters my body and pours my skeleton dripping onto the exterior of my stomach. Why is that relevant? It's not! Please see the first pargraph. Bad grammer. And it's says I'm a princess but I am male! Curses! Cusres upon thee upon them upon him upon other curses that are cursed by cursed curses!

Leave a princess like me alone. I fear ugly people!

I am the Drake of Drakeness and I can not be unDrake because Drakes are very Drakey yet aren't very unDrakey.

Now if you think the entire intro to my story was pointless...you're right!

But wait till you see the rest. It's even less pointless!

Sea Dwarfs!

Now let's start the story which I will start the story with from the beginning of the story which I am starting from the beginning.

I was born at the age of 7 and I was healthy. I finally learned to talk at age 5 and later at age J I learned to when I was F I turned 8. I was so proud. But that's when my life turned up-side left. The left went down and I met Bill Cosby. Or...A cardboard cut-out.

"You are the princess of purple."

"Egad! A talking cardboard cut-out!"

"You are the princess of puple."

"Who the #$% are you?"

"You are the princess of purple"

"But I'm a boy."

"You are the princess of purple."

"Stop saying that!"

"Hey! You kid! Leave that talking cardboard cut-out of Bill Cosby alone! Nobody's gonna wanna buy 'Princess Of Purple Perfume' If you keep bugging them."

"But it told me I'm the princess of purple."

"It always says that! It's advertising a perfume."

"Wow! I'm the first male princess!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am. Listen to him."

"You are the princess of purple."

"Shut that thing up! Yah!"

"You aaaarrreee theeeeeeeeeee prriiiin..."

"No! Bill Cosby! You monster! You killed him! How dare you do this to a princess. How dare you. How dare YOU! How dare you dare my how dare you. How dare you dare my how dare you that dares you to how dare me!"

"You are one crazy kid."

"I am the princess of purple!"

And that is my life story. I am, indeed, the princess of purple.

The End

Or at least it would be. Except since the Democrats kidnapped me they're forcing me to write this. I don't care if it's spelled "kidnapped" because I am the princess of purple. Save me! NOW! I have a nail appointment at George's and I can't reschedule! HHHEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!!!! Oh and once I'm done with the nails I need a hammer. That shed won't build maybe...

Alex's Self Building Shed Plan

1:Find a guy who can build a self building shed (which is hard to do since if you have to build it then it can't build itself.)

2:Beat him up.

3:Uuh...

4:Hmm...

5:Oh yeah! Now I remember.

6:Hey wait! Stop skipping numbers! You

7:shouldn't

8:be

9:going

10:that

11:f

12:a

13:s

14:t.

15:Make him build a self building shed.

16:That's it.

17:You can stop now.

After I complete my plan for the self building shed all will be doomed...in

my closet! Because it will go into my shed!

I fear dogs who shoot milk cartons out of their teeth!