if this story doesn't make sense, I apologize. But, does really have to?

Once upon a time there was a very bad elf. She had offended the others by calling them midgets. The elves refused to forgive her or even listen to what the very bad elf had to say. The very bad elf was very sad. Then, their ambassador, who goes by the name of Oksana, told her that if she wrote a story for the elves, they would be happy. And so, I shall write it right now.

One fine, sunny morning, on the wonderfully wonderful continent of Australia, the HOSCO (Helpers of Santa Claus Organization) were riding their kangaroos to the mall, where Santa Claus was doing a rock concert for all of the good little girls and boys.

"Oh goody! We just love Santa Claus's concerts!" shouted all of the elves and kangaroos. When they arrived at the mall, they left their bouncily bouncy marsupials in the parking lot. The HOSCO rushed in and heard the rocking rocky rock music of Santa's band. Little children were screaming and singing along, and it was a happily happy but noisy place.

The HOSCO put on their sunglasses, picked up their guitars, and joined their leader in a rock version of "Jingle Bells". During the HOSCO's break, one of the members, named Elvis, whispered to Caroline.

"This is the rockiest rocky rocking rocko rock show that we've ever done. I'm glad that You-Know-Who is missing out on this."

"Me too," said Caroline. "She was so meanily mean, calling us the m word."
"Yeah, I know. That was the worst insult ever, especially since I'm six foot eight," Elvis said.

"Uh huh," mumbled a member named Thomas, who was sampling the 165 different kinds of cookies on the refreshment tray. "And she's missing out on the chocolaty chocolate gingerbread men." He bit the head off of one.

"Santa was right to banish her from the HOSCO forever," Elvis continued. "She deserved it. Remember those picture books she read that showed us as little people with pointily pointy green hats? Purple tutus are what's 'in' now." All of the others nodded in agreement and were ashamed at even talking about You-Know-Who.

After another hour of performing, Santa Claus and the HOSCO were exhausted and sick of Christmas songs. They listened to and played them everyday and as you can well imagine, it gets very tiring.

"Let's play a Hanukkah song instead," Elvis said.

"What? Are you mad?" Caroline almost yelled. "Hanukkah is a totally differenty different holiday that none of us even-"

"Oh, what the heck," Santa Claus interrupted. "Let's play the dreidel song!"

"Oh goody!" mumbled Thomas, still chewing on cookies.

The children clapped. At the end of the show, they pulled out their autograph books and ran to greet their favorite elves. When the signing was over, the HOSCO rode back to their leader's vacation home, a large log cabin painted with red and white stripes. As they all settled down, Santa rushed through the door, and breathlessly breathless, he uttered the dreadful news.