August 15th

3:26 PM

Mode of Transportation: Backseat

            I haven’t been in the mood to write to you, Doctor Fitzgerald, ever since I found out about our shopping expedition. I wasn’t planning on going at all and had locked myself in my room to prove my point to Mom. I even wired the door with fireworks to keep her out. But even that didn’t keep her out.

            She ended up ramming into the door and breaking it off its hinges. (Without Myles’s assistance too, I might add.) She came stalking into my room-looking so much like Linda Blair from the Exorcist that I actually thought she was going to start projectile vomiting any moment-and literally dragged me down the stairs, out the door, and into our Ford Excursion. (For the record, I shall never underestimate the strength of a five foot nine Irish woman ever again.)

            After she got me into the car, she went back upstairs and got a few things from my room so I wouldn’t get bored and resort to shooting rubber bands at Beau again. Not like a few books and some CDs would stop me anyway.

            I’m currently stuck in the backseat (Myles suggested earlier that he could tie my to the luggage rack on the roof and Mom looked quite tempted to do so) with my ever-loving family to go school shopping. No words in the dictionary can cover my disgust over this subject.

            I think we must be in South Dakota by now, but it’s kind of hard to tell seeing as though all the landscapes look the same no matter what state you’re in. Why on Earth do people think it’s fun to come up to the Midwest for actual vacations? There’s nothing up here to see, except good ol’ Mount Rushmore (We’re going to be visiting it for the tenth time now. I don’t see why we need to go to it ever single year. It’s not like Rushmore’s going to grow another head while we’re away.).

3:35 PM (Postscript): I asked Mom five minutes ago if I could drive the vehicle for a certain amount of time seeing as though I’ve got my Learner’s Permit now. She hasn’t answered yet because she’s still laughing hysterically. It’s nice to know that I get so much appreciation in this family.

8:30 PM

Hotel

            National Monuments suck.

            Rapid City sucks.

            Our hotel room sucks.

            The hotel pool sucks ass.

            Myles sucks.

            Beau sucks.

            I DESPISE FAMILY VACATIONS!!!

August 16th

12:30

McDonalds Food Services

            Mom decided this morning that she and Beau were going to go shopping by themselves, leaving Myles and myself (with a sufficient amount of cash) to go cruise the Rapid City shopping area (which is virtually non-existent) by ourselves. I think she’s either hoping that we’ll do some quality brother bonding time or that we’ll kill each other before we have to meet back at the hotel.

            Surprisingly, Myles and I are getting along quite well. He’s only tried to kill me once and that was when we were at Scheels All Sports. After I threw a golf ball at his head, he located the baseball bats and tried to bash me over the head with one. The only reason he didn’t succeed was because a store clerk came up to him and said that if he wanted to commit a felony with one of the products, he would have the buy it first.

            We’re going to the mall after lunch to find some clothes and other accessories. I’m going to ditch Myles at one of the stores so I can go get my ear pierced again. Mom doesn’t mind if I get a piercing as long as it’s not on my lip, tongue, eyebrow, or nose. She says she’ll throw me out of the house if I do that and I really don’t want to test her after her frightening display strength yesterday.

            Myles just sat down with our food and inquired to know why the hell I was writing in my girly diary in the middle of a public place. I told him to leave me alone or else I’d tell the bimbo he was flirting with that he had Pooh Bear boxers. His girlfriend (yet another bimbo) gave them to him last year for Valentine’s Day.

4:56 PM

Hotel Room

            Myles decided to get his ear pierced when he found out I was getting another one. I think the only reason he even thought about getting one was because the stupid store clerk told him he would look “very sexy” with a hoop hanging out of his ear. The rest of the Rapid City population must have thought this too because after we left the store nearly all the teenage girls were giving Myles even more appreciative looks than they had before.

            I really hope that Coach Davids tears that earring out of his lobe when he catches sight of it at football practice next week.

            On a happier note, I found a T-shirt that reads, “I’m sorry, I forgot you were an idiot” at JCPenny’s. I’m going to wear it when school starts and see if I can get some kind of reaction out of Principal Estigarribia. 

August 17th

1:40

Mode of Transportation

            I swear, if those three idiots in the front seat keep sing one more round of “99,999 Bottles of Bear on The Wall” I will go insane. They’re singing so loudly and annoyingly that I can hear them over my music, which is playing at full blast with the bass on.

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