The Day I Forgot To Take Out the Trash
By
Magus0 (That's me!)

My name is Magus0. That, as you may have guessed, is not my real name. I'm 15 years old, and for the last freaking time I'm not a girl! I swear, if I get one more dirty picture or flirtatious mail from some 40 year old gut in a speedo I'm gonna burst! I mean, for god's sake people, I'm here to write low-budget stories, not be taunted in incredibly disturbing ways but some scantily dressed gay guy! Let me tell you right now, I am armed and. Oh wait! This story was supposed to be about the time I took forgot to take out the trash. Was there I time I forgot to do that? Well, I guess there wasn't so I'm gonna tell you about the time I went to bed. It was last night.

I got under the blanket, set my alarm clock, and went to sleep. I can't really remember what my dreams were, but they probably stank anyway. The next morning, the alarm clock went off, and I got up.

Great story, huh? I spent a long time coming up with it. On estimation, I'd say a solid 10 minutes. Yeah, I know. You want me to complain about how people think I'm a girl again. I do that a lot Well anyways, here's the real story.

It was Sunday, although I happened to know it as trash day. My parents had always told me, don't forget to take out the trash, or certain doom will surely befall us all, the world's people screaming out in utter agony, begging for a death that will never come. I heeded their warning. Truly, I did, but today I had an excuse for forgetting. It just so happens on that day I found a motorcycle magazine. Now let me tell you, I'm really not into motorcycles whatsoever but this particular motorcycle magazine, like many others, featured woman wearing near nothing. Where did I find it? You know that hobo who lives behind that bush on the corner of 1st and Main? He had a whole collection of magazines, which apparently he was trading for various assortments of liquor. But he was asleep. So I took one. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: Gasp! Magus0 is stealing! That sick monster! If only his parents knew! Hey! Look at that lady over there. She's got a nice butt. Awoogha! Hubba Hubba! Makes me hungry just looking at her. Hm.I wonder what I'll have for dinner tonight? I've eaten alone ever since my family discovered I was a bisexual. Oh, why did I make out with that other guy?

Uuuh. Well, anyway, you thought it was wrong of me to steal, but I have a point too. I just can't remember what it is. Well anyway, there I was, sitting there reading the magazine.. For the articles of course! That's when I heard it. The beeping sound that meant I only had 30 second or so to take out the trash! Oh no! The trash truck was on its way! How could I have been so foolish! Only now, in the hour of my twilight, could I have seen the error in my ways! Oh dear lord! Give me redemption! Forgive me, oh divine seer of the trash! Give me another day! Another chance! Give me. hey, wait a second! Trash day isn't until Monday! How could I have been so stupid? I plopped back down, began. reading. my magazine, and the next day I took out the trash. The End.