Author's Note: Hey, sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. I have sort of lost my muse for this story, but since there has been a lot of people asking me if I am ever going to continue, I thought I would try to work on it again. And wow, this story hits dangerously close to home in some ways right now. Sorry if this chapter is bad, I'm trying! I better at least get some reviews for my efforts, even if you hated it………

The next day, we were woken up bright and early as usual to gulp down a hurried breakfast before we headed out to the barn to begin working with the horses. I groomed and saddled Alibi without looking over to the next stall where Ben was taking care of Rowdy. I felt him look over at me a few times, but I would always look away so he would know that I was ignoring him.

We went out to the arena, and I poured myself into the task of riding. I remained very focused the whole time, which in turn was improving my riding. I had noticed that when I was distracted by what was going on with my friends, Alibi would take the opportunity to engage in some undesirable behavior. He would get lazy and slow or stop without being told if I didn't pay attention. I had been riding the same horse for long enough to pick up on his subtle habits. I was learning that horses had distinct personalities of their own. Alibi was an easygoing, affectionate horse most of the time, but sometimes he would take advantage of the situation when he knew he could get away with something. That day, my attention was not elsewhere, and it really showed in my riding. The instructor told me that I was doing a great job and I was really getting the hang of the posting trot.

A horse's trot has two beats, up and down. So in order to be able to ride faster at this gait, we were taught to post, to rise up and down with the rhythm. This would not have been so difficult for me if we didn't have to rise and fall with the horse's shoulder on the rail. That it made it more difficult. I was constantly being told to sit two beats to get back on the right diagonal. I couldn't understand why it mattered so much, but my instructor told me that if I rode for long enough, I would be able to notice the difference and feel when I was on the wrong diagonal. I was determined to get to that point by the end of the summer.

It was a longer lesson that usual, and since I was working so hard, I was really tired by the time we finished. It was an exceptionally hot day, so we hosed the horses off to help them cool down before we turned them out for the day. Then we were given some free time, so just about everyone wanted to go swimming. Everyone except for me. I just wanted to be alone.

I was about to saunter off to my room when Ben ran up behind me and grabbed my arm. I knew it was him immediately, and I jerked away and kept walking.

"Julia, wait!" I didn't even spare him a backwards glance. He ran to keep up with me.

"Are you mad at me or something? You have been acting really weird since last night," he said.

Finally, something in me snapped and I couldn't maintain my cool façade of apathy.

"Hmm, am I mad? Fuck yes, I am. And you should know exactly why." I was surprised at how cold my voice sounded, but I managed not to shout at him, though I felt like I was about to explode.

"I'm sorry," he said pathetically. At least he didn't try to deny what he had done. "It wasn't what it seemed like."

"Right, so Vicki just tripped and you happened to catch her with your lips, right?"

"No, it wasn't like that. I wish you would let me explain what happened," he protested.

I didn't want to hear a bullshit excuse. I had been dealing with teenage boys long enough to know that all they ever did was lie, and I was sick of it. I couldn't figure out why I had thought Ben was different from the rest of them.

"Don't bother. I don't want to hear it. Don't ever come near me again," I said right before I turned away and headed for the dorms. I was moving too quickly because my anger was driving me. I didn't even notice how much I was shaking. I didn't stop walking swiftly until I reached my room and slammed the door behind me.

Laura was already in the room, getting ready to go down to the pool. She looked up at me when I stormed in.

"I take it you just talked to Ben?" she guessed, correctly judging my bad mood.

"Yeah, against my will."

"Do you think there is any chance that you guys will make up? Do you think you should give him a chance?" she asked.

I thought for a second. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't hate Ben, even after what he had done. But he had heard me, and I needed some time to figure out how I was going to handle the situation. I definitely wasn't ready to forgive him yet.

So I replied simply, "I don't know right now."

She nodded. "Yeah, it's a difficult call to make. No one can decide for you. But I hope you aren't beating yourself up too much over this."

"Don't worry, I'm dealing with it," I said so quickly that I caused Laura to look at me skeptically.

"All right. Just let me know if you want to talk. Are you coming down to the pool?"

"Maybe in a little while. I don't really feel like swimming though."

"Okay. Well, I'm heading down there now. So I'll see you later." She was about to walk out the door when she stopped and turned around. "Jules, just remember this isn't the end of the world, especially after what you have been through already. Things will get better."

I managed a weak smile. "Thanks, Laura." And I meant it too.

After she left, I threw myself down on my head and buried my face in my pillow, but it wasn't to cry or feel sorry for myself. I wanted to think. Laura was right, it wasn't the end of the world, and I knew that very well. With a lot of the issues I had faced already, I had thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse and they always did. I shouldn't allow myself to have that kind of complacent, ignorant feeling ever again.

No, this time, I was positive that I would get back on my feet and be okay, no matter what happened.