Dirty Fingernails

Everything is so dirty

Dirty and bright

So fucking bright

Claw out my eyes

With dirty fingernails

Already blind

Beyond closed eyelids

I see the future

Or the past

Horrible

And 10 fold

In a year you won't matter

Won't hurt me

Won't blind me

But you will

I know you will

When yours is the only face

I can't remember

Claw out my eyes

It's blurry already

Take it all away

So I can see clear again

See the memories

Of Today

I don't remember yesterday

But now It's not blurred

I see it

A small child

Still alone

Look out an old window

Watch you all play

You're there

All of you

All of the faces

I dare not remember

I look out the window

While all of you play

Me, alone

Watching, as always

Odd.

Strange.

You hate me.

Torture me.

Leave me alone.

Outside playing.

Jump rope.

Four square.

So bright.

So fucking bright

I claw out my eyes

But they're gone

Gone already

And now they never leave

You never leave

I see the dirt

Now it won't go away