Old Man Stories #5
(For those of you who want to read 2 and 4 they were done by "The
Assistant" who is ID Number:376486.
That help?)

By Magus0

Old Man: How old are you now Cindy?

Kid: My name's not Cindy! I'm a boy, and I'm 8.

Old Man: Well then good, Cindy! You're old enough for me to teach you about pornography.

Kid: My name's not Cindy. It's "Kid". See the edge of the script?

Old Man: You kids got it easy these days. When I was your age, I was already 9. But that's beside the point. I'm going to teach you the value of a dollar. You see, one time I was going to Ma's Diner and I found a dollar, so I bought a pie.

Kid: What does this have to do with pornography?

Old Man: Pornography? Is that all you kids think about these days?

Kid: But you brought it up.

Old Man: You kids these days! You blame everything on an old man!

Kid: I'm telling you! You brought it-

Old Man: So how old are you now Cindy?

Kid: I'm 8!!!

Old Man: Well then, good. You're old enough for me to teach you about pornography. Now, in my day-

Kid: See? You brought it up!

Old Man: What did I buy now?

Kid: No!!! You bringing up the topic of pornography!

Old Man: Pornography? That reminds me of pornography back in my day. People would stare at each other romantically, and hold hands, and in the really naughty ones, they might even kiss each other on the cheek.

Kid: Can I go home now?

Old Man: Shut up! All you young whippersnappers want to do these days is listen to your, so called, "rock or roll"! And your "map."

Kid: Don't you mean "rap?"

Old Man: There you go! Off again in your own little world! You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you? You kids these days have about the attention span of a walnut wearing a diamond scarf. Why, back when I was a young lady, we had a better attention span than you could shake a stick at.

Kid: LADY???

Old Man: Who's telling this story? You or you?

Kid: Uh, you are!

Old Man: You're darn strait I am! Now go get me my multiple variations of my medication.

Kid: I can't! You still have me tied up!

Old Man: And you're going to stay tied up until you learn some manners! 25 cents for a glass of lemonade, do you take me for a fool?

Kid: What's wrong with that?

Old Man: You didn't give me a triple senior citizen's discount.

Kid: I was just trying to make a buck or two!

Old Man: And now look at you! Run away from, living cold and lonely on the streets, doing things no youngen should ever have to do!

Kid: I didn't run away!

Old Man: I found you on the street Cindy!

Kid: I was selling lemonade!

Old Man: That reminds me of pornography back in my day. (Fades out)

The End

A/N: I prefer getting reviews so you better put what you freaking think!!!