Love; an unfelt emotion
I have only felt love 10 times in 17 years
Every unseen feeling stabbing me inside
You will never know the real me

Everything I feel hidden by illusions of desire
I can feel nothing anymore; I am totally numb
To kill; a dangerous dream
To injure; a desire so strong; none will be true

Fading away the loves of the past
My surrogate father and my grandfather in the same body; 63 and 33
Hate; an undying emotion for so long
Hated 17, the changing future much like changing seasons

So painful and so dramatic
37 found at 17; one emotional moment, never meant to be
Chocolate vinegar so bittersweet; reunions never last
Sweet moments turn into months; start from one e-mail

Black hatred turns towards
One code so hard to break; written by one 17
Two families; one decision
Pregnancy comes and goes false and miscarriage

Abuse trailing 17 years
Will I ever be over it?