Old Man Stories#6

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(Commercial)

Bob: If you come in to Big Bob's Guns and yell, "I've got a gun!" we'll give you a free gun.

Announcer: Come on down to Big Bob's Guns, now with a new, convenient location right here in the airport.

(Fin)

Closed Captioning sponsored in part by.

(Commercial)

Man: Huh? Is the camera on?

(Fin)

And now it's time for another Old Man Stories.

(Scene: At the airport.)

Boy: Oh no! We lost mommy and daddy!

Girl: What are we going to do?

Boy: Let's ask someone for help.

Girl: Good idea. What about that guy?

Boy: Hey mister! Can you help us?

Old Man: Huh? Are you looking to hear a story about how stuff was in my day?

Boy: Uh, no. We're just looking for our parents. We lost them. Old Man: Back in my day, we raised our kids right! They didn't lose stuff. In fact, it was against the thirteenth amendment.

Girl: Isn't that the one about-

Old Man: You're wrong! You kids these days don't know anything!

Girl: Oh.

Old Man: Quit arguing with me! And you there! Women in my day dressed with respects.

Boy: But... That's a trashcan.

Old man: That reminds me of the time I went to Ma's Diner and got a pie.

Boy: I like pies.

Old Man: See what I mean? You kids these days would side with the Russians, if I didn't already beat them all single-handedly during the Atlantic Ocean war!

Girl: Can you please just help us find our parents?

Old Man: There I was. All alone, on my talking camel in the middle of the Palantian Ocean. That's when I saw them. A whole herd of them on the back of the turnips they had enslaved during the revolution of Jupiter.

Boy: The revolution of another planet? We've never had any proof of alien life or traveled much farther than the moon, for that matter.

Old Man: That reminds me of the time I went to Ma's Diner and got a pie. I had been starving, so Ma gave me one, and that's what the Canadian revolution, which I won single-handedly. As a reward, Ma gave me a pie. My first one. Mmm.... Horseradishes. And that's what started The Canadian Revolution. I won it single handedly, and as then I went to Ma's Diner and got my first pie ever. Mmm... Horseradishes.

Boy: Didn't you tell us this already?

Old Man: I see! So you kids are from Albinia. Why, if it was up to me, you would still be enslaved after you tried to take my teeth.

Boy: You have teeth.

Old Man: Sure. That would be nice thank you.

Girl: Huh?

Old Man: Oh, backing down on your part of the bet are you? You darn Germanium kids. You go away right now.

Both: Fine.

Big Bob: Hey kids, want a free gun? Just yell, "I've got a gun!"

Both: I've got a gun! (Security tackles them)

Old Man: That reminds me of the time I went to Ma's Diner and got a pie. That started the Canadian Revolution...(Fade to black)

The End