How can I escape it?
I take one step forward and fall four steps back.
Is there any way out?
I've lost the will power to try and find it.
My eyes lay open, staring at nothing.
Vast blackness is all I can see.
For some reason,
Something's holding me,
Keeping me here.
Death beckons for me,
Life pushes me towards it.
I sit still, and look ahead.
Death looks so light, so free,
Compared to this Life.
I was to reach out and grasp it,
But I try not too.
A little tiny pinch of my is still desperately crawling,
Crawling to escape.
All seems lost,
I don't know how far I can go on.
I can't even tell if I've made progress;
I see nothing but black.
I feel tears fall,
But don't acknowledge them
I hear my name whispered,
Carried across fields,
Taunting me.
All of a sudden,
I stumble.
What's this?
Something glints in the darkness.
I lean down, and pick up a knife.
It's shiny, and very sharp.
I toy with it,
Lightly carving in my wrists.
No blood flows yet,
I want to press harder.
I sit, and write into my flesh.
Tearing skin apart,
Bloody words form.
I look down with mild surprise,
Realizing I just wrote the word "Help!" upon my forearm.
A sick smile spreads across my face,
And I twirl the knife in my hands.
I touch it to my tongue,
Tasting the metallic taste of blood.
Suddenly, it dawns on me.
What a revelation!
I look down in my hand,
To find that my knife is my key,
My key out of here.
My smile widens, its true now.
Tonight I will run away.
Life held me in its grips so long,
But now I will finally set myself free.
I've been looking for an escape all this time,
But really, the power is in myself.
I won't have to depend on someone else,
I won't have to burden them with my problems.
Two slices, one per wrist,
And it's done!
Seems too easy, I am immediately suspicious.
But what's the harm in trying?
So I graze my wrist vein,
Scratching ever so slightly.
I feel nothing.
Angering, I press harder.
I feel a sharp rip of pain,
And then it dims to a pleasant tingling.
I repeat to my other arm,
And the deed has been done.
I grow dizzy,
And lie down.
My eyes shut slowly,
My smile is genuine.
As my life drains out,
I am finally free.
As I die, I make a wish,
A wish deep from my heart.
I hope so much,
That no one else will grow so far away from life.
I open my eyes,
I'm in a new place.
I'm outside, and it's night.
The stars call out to me,
Singing me a lovely lullaby.
It's like a dream,
I'm an observer outside of my body.
I know what's going to happen,
And I know it'll happen soon.
I smile, and I vanish,
My last moments are gone.
People dread death so much,
But look, I embraced it.
It set me free.
When I was drug away too far from the shore,
Death taught me to swim.
When Life had me in its apathetic clutches,
I was set free.
This is my freedom,
This is my future.
Nothing.
Just eternal, blissful, nothing.