If the world and time could stop for an instant,
And you could not hear me nor mull over what I'd said,
And I'd not have to run after the words
who had whispered and shushed their way across these lips-
What would I say?
I know.
"Friend, old friend-
I hold you in my heart.
The pain is great when we are near,
But worse when we're apart.
I've been dreaming,
Tossing, turning;
Planning in my sleep
The moment I would come to you
and would forever hold and keep
The closeness that we have,
but in a stronger sense.
I wish with no ends,
No limits or confines;
I want one thing and one thing only,
And that, my friend, is you.
I hate this love, and hate it so
That I can hardly breathe,
And yet I long to hear your heart, to sense its every beat.
I wish without knowing,
And know without desire,
That desire itself is all I hold,
but not and so much more.
I nod my head to your words,
But I do not take them in-
For watching you breathe is all I need
To rectify this sin.
Is it a sin, to love you,
You who I've called brother?
For while we live apart and by different families,
We've had that closeness for years thus far.
Is it a sin, to love a friend so much?
If it is, then let me burn in Hell
For this love wants but one touch--"
And then, I'd take your hand
And hold it to my heart,
And allow myself that moment
before, once again, time should start.
I'd curse myself, the gods, the earth
for not giving me the courage
to tell you all this within reality
and face the fact.
The indeniable, obvious, and most painful.
But then, I have not the courage.
And you'd stop and shake your head
And apologize for drifting off.
And I'd forgive in a beating of my wings.
And I'd smile, and go on,
And I would burn.

Please note that by "brother" I do NOT mean we are related. At all. Ew. No,
no, no.