“You Make Me Hate Myself”
July 5, 2000

I’ve been the citizen of the year
and on the front page of the paper – twice
I’ve been at the head of my class
but it doesn’t hide these lies

I say I’m fine and ready to leave
and start off another goal
But that’s only a futilely-created mask
for the wounds that scar my soul

Nothing I do is good enough for you
to earn me a hug and a kiss
You simply shrug and say empty words;
never a smile for me to miss

I want you to be proud of me;
to love me and to hold me
Why must you be so critical
and denounce everything you see?

You seek to find my every flaw –
like when I bring home a winning score
Instead of praise and some evaluation
you just yell at me some more

Has it always been like this?
For the life of me, I can’t remember
To me my life has been an earthquake
and every day, a tremor

So feel free to hit me –
I won’t put up a fight
I need that pain to help me know
how much to cry at night

I’ve given up; I’ve lost all hope
All this trying ruins my health
So I’ll just lie down and die right now
because you make me hate myself