FictionPress.com - let the words flow| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
JUSTICE SQUAD
Episode 2.40 - SEASON FINALE
"Space Blows"
Written by Jason Gaston
Ephedra free.
-------------------------------------------------------------- INT. THE BRIDGE As before. Justice Squad are at their stations, the evil P'rellian shape-shifter, Olia, is watching them with a smirk on her face. Ultrawoman looks at Capeman. ULTRAWOMAN Some of us can survive if the ship is destroyed. WOLFMAN (O.C.) But most of us won't. ULTRAWOMAN We need plan and we need it fast. OLIA Please, Ultrawoman... there is no way out. Not even your mighty powers can save you now. DURP! LUNA hits her across the face. Olia falls to the ground. LUNA Yeah, and not even the best plastic surgeons will be able to save your face. BLUE FAIRY Ultrawoman, I have a plan, but I'm going to need Nightflyer's help. NIGHTFLYER What do you need me to do? BLUE FAIRY When the time comes, I need you to run like hell. SEA MAN Ah, something he excels at. NIGHTFLYER Shut up, fish boy. SEA MAN No. INT. THE P'RELLIAN SHIP BENARAAN looks at Voyager on his viewscreen. BENARRAN Voyager, your time is up. I await your answer with giddy and evil anticipation. INT. THE BRIDGE Ultrawoman looks at the viewer and smirks. ULTRAWOMAN You want an answer, Benaraan? Here it comes. Ultrawoman looks over at Blue Fairy and nods once. Blue Fairy looks straight ahead... his face in deep concentration. His eyes turn blue and he begins to glow. EXT. SPACE Voyager is surrounded by the P'rellian ships. Suddenly, they are all overtaken by a dark cold shadow. The camera pans up to reveal a large ice mountain coming right towards them glowing with blue energy. INT. THE P'RELLIAN SHIP Benaraan is in the command chair when a P'rellian crewman suddenly stands. CREWMAN Benaraan! The ice field! ANGLE ON THE VIEWER The ice chunks are crashing into each other, like two great walls converging. Ice chunks are crushed together, sending debris towards the ships. BENARRAN What's causing that!? CREWMAN I don't know! Some sort of massive power emanating from Voyager! INT. THE BRIDGE Blue Fairy is sweating. BLUE FAIRY GO NIGHTFLYER! Blue Fairy collapses in exhaustion. NIGHTFLYER Consider us gone! EXT. SPACE The mountains of ice are crashing into each other. One of the P'rellian ships are caught between them and is crushed, resulting in a huge explosion. While this is going on, Voyager spins on her axis and takes off away from the destruction. The remaining P'rellian ships try to escape as well. Two more are crushed and destroyed. EXT. SPACE In an exciting and very expensive CGI shot, Voyager and the P'reallian ships are making a run for it as the two massive ice walls crash into each other. More of the P'rellian ships are destroyed by the collision. INT. THE BRIDGE Nightflyer is concentrating on flying the ship. ANGEL ON THE VIEWER The gap that Voyager and the P'rellian ships are flying through is getting smaller and smaller. EXT. SPACE Voyager rockets through the gap as the ice mountains crush into each other. More of the P'rellian ships explode and are crushed. EXT. SPACE Voyager and two P'rellian ships clear the ice field just as the two ice mountains crash into each other. Ice fragments batter the hulls of the escaped ships. INT. THE BRIDGE Nightflyer is at the helm. He finally starts to breath. COSMIC WEASEL Whoa, nice flyin' there, cuz. Blue Fairy's panel begins to beep. Luna rushes over to it. LUNA All but two of the P'rellian ships have been destroyed. WOLFMAN That's good. LUNA But they're coming towards us with their weapons powered and we still don't have a way to defend or even protect ourselves. WOLFMAN That's not so good. ULTRAWOMAN And not so accurate. INT. THE P'RELLIAN SHIP Benaraan is looking mad as hell. BENARRAN I want that ship destroyed! Now! CREWMAN We'll be in range in ten seconds. ANOTHER CREWMAN Benaraan! Voyager has launched two projectiles at us! BENARRAN Projectiles? Olia was supposed to have disabled their weapons. What sort of projectiles could they have... He looks at the viewscreen. We see Ultrawoman speeding through space towards the ship. BENARRAN Oh, smeg! EXT. SPACE Ultrawoman rips through the ship like a torpedo, turns around and rips through it again. The ship lists and explodes. Capeman attacks the other ship, hammering into it with his fists and then kicking it backwards into the icefield where it strikes one of the large ice chunks and explodes. Ultrawoman flies over to him. CAPEMAN Well, they won't tangle with us again. Bad news, is... Now we're back to square one. ULTRAWOMAN Not necessarily. We do have one really big clue. INT. THE BRIDGE Quasar holds his Cosmic Stick at he unconscious form of Olia. -------------------------------------------------------------- COMMERCIAL BREAK ANNOUNCER For years, he played the intelligent and learned Captain of the USS Enterprise. Now, Patrick Stewart is opening his mouth and showing the world that he's not as learned as we thought he was! It's... THE PATRICK STEWART SHOW! PATRICK STEWART We shouldn't go into space. It's a waste of resources and manpower. DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! ANNOUNCER Yes, Patrick Stewart... A drop-out who everyone only THOUGHT was intelligent thanks to a role he had on television! PATRICK STEWART Make me executive producer and the next Star Trek movie will make billions! DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! ANNOUNCER The Patrick Stewart show! Coming to FOX as soon as we find another engaging and intelligent series to cancel so it can take its place! PATRICK STEWART No more franchise films for me! Now, if you'll excuse me... I have contracts to sign for X3! DURRRRRRRRRRRR! -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. SICKBAY Blue Fairy is sitting on the biobed being seen to by Ultrawoman. ULTRAWOMAN That was some trick you did out there. BLUE FAIRY Oh, all I did was move a few chunks of ice around. ULTRAWOMAN Chunks of rocks the size of Rhode Island. Capeman would have trouble doing that. BLUE FAIRY Well, you saw how much it took out of me. Ultrawoman nods. ULTRAWOMAN It's that power you absorbed out of Donner, isn't it? BLUE FAIRY Of course it is. ULTRAWOMAN Still controlling it? BLUE FAIRY Yes. It's giving me no problems. ULTRAWOMAN You tell me the moment it does. We almost lost Donner over that power. I don't want to loose you either. BLUE FAIRY Of course not. I'm useful. DONNER (O.C.) HEY! ULTRAWOMAN (To Blue Fairy) You're fine. Feel like interrogating a prisoner? BLUE FAIRY Boy, do I ever. EXT. SPACE Voyager glides by. INT. THE BRIG NIGHTFLYER is questioning Olia. NIGHTFLYER I'm only going to ask you this one more time... Where is the Book of Fates and Jewel of Rectumaria hidden? OLIA Oh, please... It's so obvious that you're out of ideas. You said you were only going to ask me one more time the last eight times! NIGHTFLYER Am I out of ideas, or is this some kind of new technique to break your psyche? OLIA I'm trained to resist all forms of interrogation. NIGHTFLYER Sounds like a challenge. OLIA Well then, bring it. NIGHTFLYER Consider it brought it. INT. THE CORRIDOR Ultrawoman and Blue Fairy are walking side by side. ULTRAWOMAN ...and I figure that if we can somehow get Olia to talk, maybe we can promise her amnesty on Earth. It'll be much better than the Jennifer Hansonites or Rectumarians would have in store for her. BLUE FAIRY Tell me about it. Did you hear what Quasar said the Hansonites do to their prisoners? ULTRAWOMAN Yes... They're injected with a parasite that eats them from the inside out. BLUE FAIRY And then the parasite is considered a delicacy when removed. Sounds vile. ULTRAWOMAN What do you mean? You ate three helpings of it in the palace. A beat. BLUE FAIRY Are you telling me THAT's what the spaghetti really was? INT. THE BRIG Nightflyer has removed his mask and is talking to Olia. NIGHTFLYER ...and then, after my parents were arrested, I was raised in a boys only catholic school. I think it was then I figured out that I had no interest in women whatsoever. Ultrawoman and Blue Fairy enter and listen to Nightflyer spill his guts. ULTRAWOMAN Willard, what are you doing? NIGHTFLYER I was just telling Olia about... (a beat, to Olia) You're good. OLIA Told you. ULTRAWOMAN We don't have time for this! Olia, if you tell us where the missing treasures are, we'll... OLIA What, grant me amnesty? Sorry, sister, I ain't biting. There's no way I'll sell out my P'rellian brothers and sisters. ULTRAWOMAN We don't have time for this! BLUE FAIRY I agree. He touches the wand to Olia's head. Olia jumps backwards. OLIA What did you do? BLUE FAIRY The old truth spell. Worked wonders for an evil old wizard. OLIA I think not. Being a shapeshifter, I can alter the shape of my brain and keep it fluctuating until your spell wears off. The sky is red, this ship is called Kitten, Paul Walker deserves an Oscar. George W. Bush is the greatest president ever. Fox News really is fair and balanced. See? I'm able to lie without any problem. BLUE FAIRY Fine, you want to play rough? Blue Fairy fires his wand at her, enveloping her head in a blue glow. After a second, the glow dissipates. ULTRAWOMAN Blue Fairy? BLUE FAIRY The treasures are being held on a space station 34 light years from here called Gateway Station. OLIA How did you know that!? BLUE FAIRY It's quite ingenious, really. The station is used as a meeting place of various races... including the Jennifer Hansonites and Rectumarians who keep a permanent presence there. You hid the Book of Fates and Jewel of Rectumaria right under their noses in the abandoned P'rellian embassy. (to Ultrawoman) I read her mind. ULTRAWOMAN You weren't kidding when you said you got a power boost. OLIA You bastard! ULTRAWOMAN (Smiles, to communicator) Quasar, set a course to Gateway Station. Maximum warp! (to Olia) Too bad you didn't take that amnesty offer. Well drop you off at the Gateway Station security office and they can figure out what to do with you. They exit the brig leaving Olia alone. OLIA Dick. EXT. SPACE GATEWAY STATION, a large space station several miles high dominates the picture. The space station is surrounded by several spaceships as Voyager approaches. INT. GATEWAY STATION Inside a large dome structure, we see several 200 plus story skyscrapers. One of them is in the center of the picture and looks like it hasn't been used in years. CAPTION: P'rellian Embassy EXT. P'RELLIAN EMBASSY Ultrawoman, Capeman, Wolfman, Nightflyer, Luna, Bippo the Clown, Sea Man, Devour, and Quasar walk towards the building. CAPTION: OUTSIDE THE P'RELLIAN EMBASSY LUNA It looks like it hasn't been used in years. QUASAR It hasn't. Not since P'rellia was destroyed. It was a sad situation... reminded me of that poorly received Battlestar Galactica mini-series on the Sci-Fi channel. CAPEMAN What happened? QUASAR Well, if you ask me, they sacrificed too much of the original premise and then sexed up the plot to a ridiculous degree. I mean, Balthar having sex with a Cylon in Nylons? And then there was the... CAPEMAN I mean... What happened to P'rellia? QUASAR Oh. Well, P'rellia was hit by an asteroid. Killed billions and only a handful managed to escape into space. WOLFMAN That's awful. QUASAR Yeah, some of them became pirates and scavengers while others resettled on another planet in the P'rellian system. Not all P'rellians are bad, after all. They walk inside the embassy. INT. THE EMBASSY CAPTION: INSIDE THE P'RELLIAN EMBASSY They enter quietly. Nightflyer leaps up into a ventilation shaft. Wolfman runs for a flight of stairs. Ultrawoman and Capeman force an elevator door open and fly up the shaft. Cosmic Weasel grabs Sea Man and takes off at super-speed. Devour and Luna run for another flight of stairs. Bippo the Clown and Quasar walk over to another elevator, calmly presses the button, and the door closes. The MISSION IMPOSSIBLE theme begins to play. INT. THE VENTELATION SHAFT Nightflyer crawls through the ventelation shaft. INT. THE ELEVATOR SHAFT Capeman and Ultrawoman fly up the shaft. INT. A STAIRWELL Wolfman runs up the stairs. EXT. THE EMBASSY Cosmic Weasel is running up the side of the building dragging Sea Man along. INT. A STAIRWELL Luna and Devour run up the stairs. INT. AN ELEVATOR The music suddenly switches to generic elevator music. Quasar and Bippo the Clown are talking. BIPPO THE CLOWN So, you didn't even think Edward James Olmos was good as Adama? QUASAR Well, he was the glue that held the mini together... and it did pick up a lot of momentum during the second half. The elevator dings. INT. THE EMBASSY The elevator doors open. Quasar and Bippo calmly step out. Suddenly, the doors on both sides of the room burst open and Ultrawoman, Cosmic Weasel, Sea Man, Capeman, Luna, Devour, and Wolfman pour into the room ready for a fight. QUASAR Hey, guys. ULTRAWOMAN There's nothing here. CAPEMAN Not necessarily. I did a sweep with my X-Ray vision. There's a hidden room behind that bookcase and there are ten P'rellians standing guard. LUNA If we go in there, they may destroy the book and the jewel. ULTRAWOMAN You're right. We need a plan. BIPPO THE CLOWN WAIT! Everyone jumps. BIPPO THE CLOWN I have... A long beat. Everyone leans in towards Bippo. BIPPO THE CLOWN (Whispers) ...a plan. Sea Man shivers. SEA MAN Anyone else just get a cold shiver up their spine? Everyone raises their hands... including Bippo. INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM There is a knock at the door. Two P'rellian guards run over to it and stand ready with their weapons. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 Halt! Who goes there!? BIPPO THE CLOWN (From outside) I'm already halted. I mean, there is a door in my way, you big silly. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 State your business! BIPPO THE CLOWN (From outside) Well, when I was a kid I had a paper route, then I became interested in journalism... P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 Dammit, who are you? BIPPO THE CLOWN (From outside) Who are any of us? That's the question that philosophers have been asking for centuries. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 Friend or foe? BIPPO THE CLOWN (From outside) Well, I'm foe free speech, freedom of religion, and freedom for Quebec. Viva Quebec! P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 (A beat) What do you want here and now with us in this room? BIPPO THE CLOWN (From outside) Uh... Benaraan sent me. The guards look at each other and nod. They open the door revealing a large figure. The figure staggers into the room and we see that it has Devour's head, Sea Man's arms, and Bippo's feet. Bippo's eyes can be seen at the navel. Bippo appears to have trouble walking under the weight. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 Good gods! What are you? BIPPO THE CLOWN Er... We're a... I mean, I'm uh... Bippo...Seaman...Devour...ian. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 Ah... The Bipposeamandevourians. Yes, I've heard of your kind. BIPPO THE CLOWN You have? P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 Yes, is it true that you all have no genitalia but, rather produce asexually? BIPPO THE CLOWN No, it's a filthy lie! INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE ROOM Nightflyer and Luna grab two guards and drag them behind some crates. We hear several punches. INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM Bippo, Sea Man, and Devour are still pulling off the ruse. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 So, what are you doing here? BIPPO THE CLOWN Benaraan told me to give you something. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 What? BIPPO THE CLOWN What? P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 What did Benaraan tell you to give us? BIPPO THE CLOWN (blank) Huh? INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE ROOM Two guards walk by. Capeman and Ultrawoman grab them and drag them behind some crates. More punching can be heard. INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM The ruse continues. BIPPO THE CLOWN (Nervous) Oh yes! Ha, ha! I was supposed to give you something. I'm sure it's down here in my pocket. Sea Man does nothing. BIPPO THE CLOWN (Yells) I said, the thing I was supposed to give them is in my pocket, dumbass! SEA MAN (Whispers) Oh, sorry. Sea Man reaches down into the pocket. BIPPO THE CLOWN (Laughing) Hey, hey! Watch the hands! Ha, ha! That tickles! Hey! Do that again and there'd better be a wedding ring attached! The guards look at each other. INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE ROOM A guard walks by. Cosmic Weasel grabs him and pulls him behind some crates. We hear punching sounds. The guard walks out from behind the crates dusting himself off. Wolfman grabs him and pulls him behind the crates again. We hear more punching. Wolfman walks out with Cosmic Weasel over his shoulder. COSMIC WEASEL (Woozy) Hey, buddy... I'm not finished with you. A guard sneaks up behind them and draws his weapon. Suddenly, he is hit upside the head with a clay pot. Wolfman turns around (smacking Cosmic Weasel's head into a crate) and sees a 12-year old RECTUMARIAN GIRL. WOLFMAN Who are you? RECTUMARIAN GIRL (Frantically speaks alien language) WOLFMAN Uh-huh. INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM Finally, Sea Man manages to pull something out of Bippo's pocket. It's the box that Bippo was looking at on the ship. BIPPO THE CLOWN Have we got it? Ah, yes... There we go. Guard #1 looks at the box. He opens it and marvels at the glow. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 What... What is it? BIPPO THE CLOWN It's a... Well, let's just call it a surprise! We hear a scream off camera. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 What was that? BIPPO THE CLOWN (Shrugs) What was what? Another scream. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 (O.C.) ARGH! SMACK! SMACK! Body fall. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 THAT! BIPPO THE CLOWN I didn't hear anything. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 There's someone else here. We've been found out! Go vaporize the treasures. BIPPO THE CLOWN Now wait just a damn... yipe! Bippo takes a step forward, but the weight finally proves too much for him. Bippo, Sea Man, and Devour topple forward and spill out in front of the P'rellian Guards. P'RELLIAN GUARD #1 What the...? Sea Man, Bippo, and Devour stand there caught and unsure of what to do. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 Hey, we were right! Asexual reproduction! He goes to tickle Devour's chin. P'RELLIAN GUARD #2 Aren't you the cutest little...? EXT. THE EMBASSY We hear a high-pitched shriek and Devour roaring. INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM Devour belches. Bippo and Sea Man look on in awe. BIPPO THE CLOWN Bitchin'! SEA MAN How did he do that without chewing? FADE TO: INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM All of Justice Squad is there including Donner and Ultra Baby. KARALACK, HEEHUCK, and MADAME FLARG are there as well with a contingent of guards and soldiers. The 12-year-old Rectumarian girl is being cared for by Luna. MADAME FLARG So, it was the P'rellians all the time. KARKALACK Yes, an ingenious plan. Make us fight and collect the spoils for themselves. MADAME FLARG Yes, much of the good and supplies in this room are from several systems we've waged war in. Those are Vegan spices, over there are several containers of Nuperi ale, and I'm sure those Butterfinger Bars are from Earth. ULTRAWOMAN Yes, well... we do still seem to have a problem. We can't find a book or a jewel anywhere in this room. HEEHUCK What do you mean, large-assed alien female? The book is over there. Heehuck points at a small stone structure that resembles a smaller version of the Parthenon. ULTRAWOMAN It's in that old rock building? KARKALACK It IS that old rock building. INT. THE BOOK OF FATES The inside of the rock structure is worn and weather beaten by centuries of time. Justice Squad and the Jennifer Hansonites walk inside. Madame Flarg follows. DONNER I don't get it. It looks like an old building to me. Karkalack points upwards. Everyone looks up. On the ceiling are chiselled hundreds of thousands of words in an alien language. COSMIC WEASEL The building is the book. KARKALACK Paper was not in high demand back then... and the skin we would peel from our enemies bodies would dry up and shrivel the ink. ULTRAWOMAN But that still leaves the Jewel of Rectumaria. Where could it be. MADAME FLARG Why, Ultrawoman... You've found that as well. Madame Flarg is holding the 12-year-old girl. MADAME FLARG This is my daughter, the princess of my people... The Jewel of Rectumaria. LUNA Could have told us that at the beginning. ULTRAWOMAN (Smiles) Well, then... We had an agreement, did we not? MADAME FLARG Indeed we did. (to Karkalack and Heehuck) Lord and Lady Karkalack... It appears that a great injustice has been done to both our peoples. In light of the revelation that the transgressions against both our races were not cause by either one of us, I humbly ask that all aggressions between our empires immediately cease. KARKALACK Agreed. (to communicator) All ships... Cease fire and return home. MADAME FLARG (To communicator) All ships, return home. The war is over. ULTRAWOMAN Well, I hope the two of you have learned a valuable lesson today. A beat. MADAME FLARG, KARKALACK, & HEEHUCK Nope. FADE TO: EXT. GATEWAY STATION Even more ships are surrounding the gigantic space station. INT. GATEWAY STATION In the large domed area, there is a huge celebration going on. A large banner draped over a building says "PEACE!". INT. THE DOME Ultrawoman, Quasar, Nightflyer, Luna, Cosmic Weasel, Devour, Sea Man, Blue Fairy, Wolfman, and Bippo the Clown are at a table of honor as the festivities continue. Wolfman is holding Ultra-Baby and bouncing her up and down. ULTRAWOMAN I know we haven't really had time to say it yet, Thad, but we're all glad you came back. WOLFMAN Well, I had some sense talked in to me by an old friend. Ultra-baby starts fussing. WOLFMAN Uh-oh. Baby's getting mad. Ultrawoman takes her. ULTRAWOMAN Hmm... She's not wet or hungry. I bet she wants her rattle. She starts searching for it. ULTRAWOMAN It's not here. (snaps fingers) I bet Donner's got it. BLUE FAIRY Is he still helping the Hansonites and the Rectumarians take an inventory of everything the P'rellians stole? ULTRAWOMAN Yeah, he says it's to further diplomatic ties, but that's bullcrap. He's just using it as an excuse to find alien technology to exploit. Ultra-baby starts to cry. ULTRAWOMAN I'd better go get her rattle. WOLFMAN Here, let me. You guys enjoy the party. Especially you, Ultrawoman. You're the reason these people are celebrating and not fighting. Wolfman takes the baby. ULTRAWOMAN Are you sure? WOLFMAN Positive. He walks off. An alien waiter walks up to Nightflyer with a large covered dish. ALIEN WAITER Excuse me, Mr. Nightflyer? NIGHTFLYER Yes? ALIEN WAITER This dish comes from Lord and Lady Karkalack. They wish to express their great appreciation for the manner in which you conducted yourself. NIGHTFLYER Oh no... NO! The alien waiter lifts the lid revealing a large pepperoni pizza. ALIEN WAITER I believe this is a dish native to your planet? NIGHTFLYER Oh sweet lord! Nightflyer starts stuffing his face. NIGHTFLYER It's delicious. ALIEN WAITER Yes, I was rather concerned about the taste, but thankfully the milk of the snot-sucking tit-mouse of Andoria makes a similar type of cheese to your motzerella. Just be sure to stop eating if you feel your toes go numb. Nightflyer falls backwards. Cosmic Weasel swoops by and devours the rest of the pizza. COSMIC WEASEL (To waiter) Got any more? INT. THE SECRET ROOM Donner, Karkalack, Heehuck, and Madame Flarg are there along with several other Jennifer Hansonite and Rectumarian workers. DONNER (Looking at pad) It looks like that machinery there goes back to Earth. HEEHUCK I shall make a note of it. MADAME FLARG I recognize this painting. It belongs to the Rimbor. Donner reaches down and picks up the box that Bippo gave the guard. He looks inside. Light shines in his face. DONNER Whoa. Anyone know what this is? Wolfman has entered with Ultra-Baby. WOLFMAN Cool! Karkalack and Heehuck walk over Madame Flarg joins them. MADAME FLARG I don't recognize it. KARKALACK Neither do I. I shall scan it. Karkalack scans it. The scanner beeps. KARKALACK Incredible! DONNER What? KARKALACK It's ten molecules of something I have never seen before... an explosive so powerful, it can destroy an entire planet! MADAME FLARG (Looks at scan) Looks like Zeta molecules... and they've somehow been merged on a quarkian level with Eta electrons with a ratio of 3 to 2 to 5. WOLFMAN Zeta... Eta? Hey, Zeta Eta 3-2-5! Everyone looks at Wolfman. KARKALACK What? WOLFMAN Zeta Eta 3-2-5. My team and I were taken to the 823rd century a little over a year ago where an evil robot tried to use Zeta Eta 3-2-5 to blow up the sun. DONNER But... What's it doing here in the 21st century? How did it get here? HEEHUCK And who's son were they trying to blow up? WOLFMAN Ours, of course. HEEHUCK Your's and Donner's? WOLFMAN Yep, our sun. KARKALACK I thought that the males could not reproduce together. Wolfman and Donner look at each other. DONNER Not son as in son. Sun as in the bright yellow hot thing in the sky, idiot! A beat. MADAME FLARG You mean a STAR!? This thing can blow up an entire SUN!? DONNER Dur! KARKALACK Blow up a sun, eh? Madame Flarg, this could be the answer to our P'rellian problem. DONNER Huh? MADAME FLARG Use this... Zeta Eta 3-2-5 to destroy those blasted P'rellians once and for all? KARKALACK Yes, vengeance! MADAME FLARG Sweet vengeance! We will depart to P'rellia immediately! Wolfman stops them. WOLFMAN Wait a minute! You can't wipe out all the P'rellians just because a few of them pissed you off! HEEHUCK (Shrugs) Why not? WOLFMAN Because... uh... Justice Squad will stop you! KARKALACK (Grins) How can they stop us when they don't know what we're doing? WOLFMAN What do you mean? DONNER Thad. WOLFMAN We'll tell them what you're doing. DONNER Thad, be quiet. WOLFMAN And then they'll kick your asses but good. DONNER Thad, put a sock in it. WOLFMAN Why? He looks. All the Rectumarian and Jennifer Hanson soldiers have guns pointed at them. WOLFMAN But... Aw, nutbunnies! The soldiers start walking out of the room, keeping their weapons pointed at Wolfman, Donner, and Ultra-baby. MADAME FLARG Very sorry about this, really. I like Justice Squad. You did both of our worlds a tremendous favor. KARKALACK But the P'rellian problem must be eliminated. When it is all over, you will understand. And if not... Well... tough titty! They shut the door, locking Donner, Ultra-Baby, and Wolfman inside the room. Wolfman runs to the door to open it, but can't budge it. WOLFMAN We're trapped! A beat. DONNER DOY! EXT. GATEWAY STATION The flagship Recumarian and Jennifer Hanson starships unberth and head out into space. INT. THE DOME COLOSSAL CHUNK watches the large ships fly by the dome. COLOSSAL CHUNK Why spacey-ships go bye-bye? LUNA Oh, who cares? I'm sure it's not important. COLOSSAL CHUNK But spacey-ships...? Cosmic Weasel shoves a spoon into Chunk's hand. COSMIC WEASEL Here, look at the shiny spoon. COLOSSAL CHUNK (In a daze) Shiny... INT. THE RECTUMARIAN SHIP Karkalack, Heehuck, and Madame Flarg are there. A Rectumarian scientist, Doctor Colon, is there working on a bomb. MADAME FLARG Are you ready, Doctor Colon? DOCTOR COLON Yes, Madame. This bomb is set on a ten minute countdown. It should give you ample time to get out of range. MADAME FLARG Good. KARKALACK In less than an hour, the P'rellians will be history. DOCTOR COLON Indeed they will. They laugh. Unseen by the others, Doctor Colon sticks a remote in his jacket. INT. A SHUTTLEBAY Doctor Colon walks by the camera towards a shuttle. He gets in and takes off. MUSIC STING! -------------------------------------------------------------- COMMERCIAL BREAK THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES. ANNOUNCER (Voice-over) In a world where evil comes in all shapes and sizes... We see RICH E. MOGUL spin around in a chair, hanging up a phone. ANNOUNCER (Voice-over) When a team up of epic proportions threatens the entire universe... We see SENESTRA MALEVOLOUS standing in front of him. SENESTRA Mr. Mogul... ANNOUNCER History itself will lie in the destiny of one man... A door opens, revealing LIAM SMITH. LIAM Well, hello... Where did you come from? CUT TO: DARKNESS. THAD (Voice-over) It's starting! CUT TO: Mozart's "O Fortuna" starts playing as we see the following clips of... - WOLFMAN running along the rooftop. - PROFESSOR ARTURO standing up behind a desk. - CAPEMAN using his heat vision. - DREW FANGTASTIC and TRIUMPH looking at each other. - SEA MAN falling through the air. - CHOCOLATE TREAT, ELVIS and BIPPO looking around - DEVOUR pulling out a cell phone. - MISTER HILTER pointing to something off camera. - LUNA leaping into the air. - THE COLOSSAL CHUNK ripping a tree out of the ground. - An explosion!!! CUT TO: Darkness again. QUASAR (Voice-over) So far, I have to say, this mission rocks. Coming this summer... The Justice Squad... The Liam Smith Show... both in... "THE WRATH OF P.E.N.I.S.!" Written, directed and produced by Jason Gaston. Rated R! -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM Wolfman and Donner are looking around the room. Donner is holding Ultra-Baby. DONNER This is hopeless! There's no way out! WOLFMAN I can break through the walls. He punches a wall. We hear bones in his fist crunch. WOLFMAN Ow. DONNER No you can't. We scanned this place when we did our inventory! The walls are a five-foot think alloy that contains, among other things, traces of silver. I could break through these walls before you could! Donner slumps down. Unseen by him or Wolfman, a communicator appears in a transporter effect next to him. Ultra-Baby sees it and starts cooing and reaching for it. WOLFMAN What if we used smoke signals. DONNER And how are we going to make a fire? This is real life, not Survivor! Ultra-baby picks up the communicator and starts playing with it. WOLFMAN Maybe there are some weapons around here we can blast the door open with. They start looking. Ultra-baby still has the communicator. INT. THE DOME The celebration is still going on. Justice Squad watches happily from their table of honor. ULTRA-BABY (Over comm) Ooooooooog! A-goo! NIGHTFLYER Did you guys hear that? ULTRA-BABY (Over comm) A-bah bah-bah! BLUE FAIRY Sounds like Zy. ULTRAWOMAN But she went with... Ultrawoman looks under the table and retrieves a communicator identical to the one Ultra-baby has. ULTRAWOMAN Where'd this come from? INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM Wolfman and Donner are searching. Ultra-baby still has the communicator. ULTRAWOMAN (over com) Donner? DONNER Not now, Zy. Can't you see that daddy is... (a beat) Holy crap-buckets! Donner looks at Zy. DONNER (Smiling) Say something else for daddy! ULTRAWOMAN (over com) Donner, what the hell are you doing? DONNER I'm being VERY proud of my daughter, that's what! She a genius, Wolfman! She can talk! ULTRAWOMAN (over com) Donner, you idiot. WOLFMAN Wow, she really takes after her mom. ULTRAWOMAN (over com) Donner, take the communicator out of Zy's hands! Donner and Wolfman look down and see the communicator. Donner takes it. DONNER (over com) I knew it was there all the time, I was just screwing with you. ULTRAWOMAN Donner, what's going on up there? WOLFMAN (over com) Ultrawoman, the Hansonites and Rectumarians found some Zeta Eta 3 2-5 up here! INT. THE DOME The table goes silent. ULTRAWOMAN Zeta Eta 3-2-5? NIGHTFLYER How in the HELL did they get that? They only have that in the future! The only way someone could have it here was if someone came back from the future with some! Bippo looks around and sinks into his chair trying not to be noticed. WOLFMAN (Over com) Ultrawoman, they're going to use it to destroy the P'rellians! All of them! ULTRAWOMAN We're coming to get you! Where are you? WOLFMAN (Over com) There's no time! They left half an hour ago! QUASAR P'rellia is only a few light years away. They could already be there. ULTRAWOMAN Then let's go. (into Communicator) Donner, Wolfman, is Zy okay? INT. THE HIDDEN ROOM As before. DONNER She's fine. ULTRAWOMAN (Over com) Take care of her. DONNER Count on it. INT. THE DOME As before. Justice Squad stands. Ultrawoman presses a button on her Justice Squad communicator and they all disappear in a transporter effect. EXT. GATEWAY STATION Voyager flies away from the station and jumps to warp. EXT. SPACE A large black starship flies overhead. The shuttle that launched from the Rectumarian ship flies towards it. INT. THE BLACK SHIP - BRIDGE The bridge is dark, illuminated only by several control stations. The occupants look human, but no detail can be seen. DOCTOR COLON enters. He hands the remote detonator to the CAPTAIN sitting in the command chair. The captain looks at the detonator in his hand and holds onto it tightly. INT. THE SECRET ROOM Donner, Ultra-Baby, and Wolfman are still trapped. DONNER It's been fifteen minutes since we heard from them. Let's face it, Wolfie... They're long gone. We could be stuck in here a long time. WOLFMAN I feel so... USELESS! Wolfman kicks a crate. It hits against another pile of crates and knocks them down. DONNER Nice kick there, John Elway. Doesn't get us out of here any faster. (a beat) Say, if you get really hungry... You're not going to eat me, are you? WOLFMAN I don't eat junk food. Wolfman grimaces and looks off to the side. Something in the collapsed pile of crates catches his eye. WOLFMAN Donner, look! He runs over to the crates. Donner looks. DONNER Is... Is that what I think it is? Wolfman throws several of the crates out of the way revealing... MR. T's CUSTOM 1982 GMC VAN! DONNER I thought it was destroyed! WOLFMAN I guess the P'rellians pilfered it. Come on. DONNER Come on? Come on where? Wolfman gets in the driver's seat. DONNER You're kidding me. WOLFMAN This is the most helluva tough vehicle in the galaxy, Donner! If it can't get us out of here, nothing can! Now, get in! DONNER I'm going to regret this. Donner gets in the passenger seat and holds Ultra-baby. Wolfman checks all the controls and starts the van. The ground shakes from its power. WOLFMAN (Smiles) Cool! Grab onto your butt, Donner... We are outta here! Wolfman steps on the gas. The van suddenly jerks backwards and hits a wall. Donner looks at Wolfman. WOLFMAN Whoops. Donner and Thad look at each other and then frantically start buckling their seat belts. DONNER No more whoops! WOLFMAN Let's see, how does he...? Ah, here we go! EXT. THE VAN Two energy blasts come out of the van's headlights and obliterate the door. Wolfman steps on the gas and drives out of the room. INT. A CORRIDOR Jennifer Hanson and Rectumarian soldiers are shooting at the van. They run out of the way as the unstoppable van drives through the hallway. INT. THE VAN Donner and Wolfman are hanging on for dear life. Ultrababy is laughing. DONNER You know, this is a lot like Star Trek: Nemesis. WOLFMAN What are you talking about? There were no GMC vans in Star Trek: Nemesis! Wolfman honks the horn as several Jennifer Hanson, Rectumarian, and Reman soldiers. The van takes a hard left and we see a window coming towards them. The van heads right for it. Wolfman steps on the gas. DONNER (Goes white) Oh, sh-- EXT. THE EMBASSY The 1982 Custom GMC Van bursts out of the window and starts to fall towards the celebrating crowd below. INT. THE VAN Donner and Wolfman are hanging on as Ultrababy flies around them having the time of her life. DONNER (Screaming) Thad! Thad! Thaaaaaaaaaaad! WOLFMAN (Near panic) HOW DOES HE GET THIS THING TO FLY!? DONNER FIGURE IT OUT! WOLFMAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Wolfman honks his horn at the approaching ground. Ultra-Baby suddenly flies into Thad's lap and accidentally kicks a button on the dash. INT. THE DOME The Van is falling towards the unsuspecting celebrating crowds. Suddenly, at the last second, it swoops INTO THE AIR creating a gust of wind that knocks the celebrator's hats off. INT. THE DOME The Van flies towards the airlock and out into space. INT. THE VAN Donner and Wolfman are both staring wide-eyed straight ahead shivering slightly. Ultra-Baby is jumping up and down on Wolfman's lap. Donner and Wolfman slowly look at each other. There is a beeping noise. WOLFMAN I wasn't worried. Were you? DONNER What... What's that noise? They look around. Wolfman picks up a Justice Squad communicator. WOLFMAN This must be Mr. T's communicator. DONNER Why is it beeping? WOLFMAN It's a homing device. We can follow the signal all the way to Voyager! DONNER Great! Good! Wonderful! If you need me, I think SOMEONE needs a change. WOLFMAN Did Zy dirty her diaper? DONNER (A beat) Uh... Yes. EXT. SPACE The 1982 Custom GMC Van flies by. We hear a horn honk and then the van jumps to warp. EXT. SPACE Voyager falls out of warp inside a planetary system. A star can be seen in the background. INT. THE BRIDGE Ultrawoman is in the control chair, Capeman is in the other chair. Nightflyer is at helm, Bippo at weapons, Cosmic Weasel at Ops, Luna at engineering, and Chunk at the science station picking his nose. Blue Fairy and Quasar look on. ULTRAWOMAN Cos, are you scanning? COSMIC WEASEL Yeah, and I am picking up a massive energy signature a few hundred miles ahead of us and... (urgent) ...it's falling into the sun. ULTRAWOMAN How long? COSMIC WEASEL It's about six inches long, but only three inches around. Kind of small for something that could blow up a star! ULTRAWOMAN How long until it hits the P'rellian sun, dammit! COSMIC WEASEL One minute fifteen seconds. ULTRAWOMAN Nightflyer, get us there now! Blue Fairy, Quasar! Get to the science lab and get ready to disarm it! EXT. SPACE Voyager streaks towards the sun. INT. THE BRIDGE As before. Blue Fairy and Quasar are gone. COSMIC WEASEL Thirty seconds! LUNA We're in range! EXT. SPACE The small bomb tumbles towards the sun. Voyager swoops overhead and the bomb disappears in a transporter effect. INT. THE SCIENCE LAB Quasar and Blue Fairy are standing by as the bomb materializes. They rush towards it with tools in hand ready to disarm it. Blue Fairy opens the casing and starts working. BLUE FAIRY (Quickly) We've less than twenty seconds to disarm this thing. I've got to find the power source and disconnect it and then re-route the firing mechanism to compensate for the... Quasar reaches into the casing and flips a switch. COMPUTER Bomb disarmed. Blue Fairy looks at Quasar. QUASAR All you had to do was turn it off. INT. THE BRIDGE Ultrawoman and the others are holding their breath. BLUE FAIRY (Over com) Good news, everyone. We will not be blowing up today. Everyone cheers. Ultrawoman falls back in her seat. In relief. INT. THE RECTUMARIAN SHIP Karkalack, Heehuck, and Madame Flarg wait patiently. KARKALACK Where is the ka-boom? There was SUPPOSED to be an earth-shattering ka-boom! MADAME FLARG Oh, to hell with this. Let's just go drop a lot of nuclear bombs on the P'rellians and be done with it. The ship shakes. HEEHUCK What is that!? MADAME FLARG Bridge, report! RECTUMARIAN OFFICER (Over com) Madame Flarg! We appear to have been... grabbed! MADAME FLARG By what? A tractor beam? A tow cable? RECTUMARIAN OFFICER A... uh... Well... EXT. SPACE The Rectumarian ship is dwarfed by a GIGANTIC BLUE HAND holding on to it. The camera zooms out to reveal a several mile tall holographic BLUE FAIRY holding the ship. INT. THE RECTUMARIAN SHIP As before. The three aliens are shocked. EXT. SPACE As before. BLUE FAIRY I want everyone on this ship to understand me perfectly. The law abiding people of the P'rellian system are under MY protection! You will leave this area of space and never come back or I will destroy you. INT. THE RECTUMARIAN SHIP As before. KARKALACK How DARE you speak to us like... BLUE FAIRY HOW DARE I!? The ship shakes. EXT. SPACE As before. BLUE FAIRY How dare you!? How dare you thoughtlessly commit acts of genocide? How dare YOU try and kill an entire race! I am more powerful now than I have ever been and I am getting more powerful every day. I will say this one more time... Leave this system and NEVER RETURN! The giant Blue Fairy throws the Rectumarian ship into space. It tumbles off into the distance. INT. THE SCIENCE LAB Quasar and Blue Fairy are taking readings of the bomb. Blue Fairy smirks. QUASAR What's that smirk for? BLUE FAIRY Oh... Nothing. Let's just say that the Rectumarians and Jennifer Hansonites are going to have plenty of time to get to know each other on the way home. He smiles widely and goes back to work. He sees something in the bomb and frowns. BLUE FAIRY Bippo... INT. THE BRIDGE Ultrawoman, Capeman, Luna, Devour, Cosmic Weasel, Colossal Chunk, Sea Man, and Bippo are at various stations. Luna's panel beeps. LUNA We're being hailed. ULTRAWOMAN By who? The P'rellians? LUNA No, it looks like... DONNER (over com) Voyager, are you there? ULTRAWOMAN (Smiles) We're here. Crisis averted. Everyone's okay. Where are you? INT. THE VAN Donner is holding Ultra-Baby as Thad drives. DONNER We just entered the system. ULTRAWOMAN (over com) What? How? DONNER It's a long story. ULTRAWOMAN (over com) Is Zylika okay? DONNER She's fine. INT. THE BRIDGE As before. ULTRAWOMAN Keep her fine, Donner. DONNER (over com) Always. I know I'll feel better once I'm back on the ship and heading home. ULTRAWOMAN Don't worry. We'll all be home soon. INT. THE SCIENCE LAB Quasar and Blue Fairy are working on the bomb. Suddenly, a counter pops up out of the top and starts counting down. Quasar and Blue Fairy look at it. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... QUASAR Aw, fu-- The bomb explodes. EXT. VOYAGER The starship goes up like a star. INT. THE VAN Off in the distance, Thad and Donner see a large EXPLOSION. Suddenly, the van is rocked by shockwaves. EXT. THE VAN The van is buffeted by the blast's shockwaves. Debris hits up against them. INT. THE VAN The blast subsides. Donner and Thad pick themselves up. Ultra-Baby is crying. WOLFMAN What was... DONNER Oh no... Oh, God, no! EXT. THE VAN Voyager is gone... there is only an expanding field of dust and particles where it was. The P'rellian sun is still intact thanks to Voyager's distance from it, but a nearby rocky planet has been shattered. INT. THE VAN Wolfman and Donner are in shock. DONNER They... They couldn't have.... They... Wolfman starts scanning. DONNER Are... Are you picking up anything? Wolfman turns the scanner off. WOLFMAN No... DONNER We-We... They can't be. We have to scan more... We have to... We have to find them. We can't just leave. WOLFMAN We won't. We'll keep looking until we're sure. We'll keep looking. They can't be dead... They just can't. EXT. SPACE The van floats in front of the large dust cloud caused by the explosion. The camera moves out until the van is just a speck in the vast starfield. FADE TO: INT. THE BLACK SHIP BRIDGE Still cloaked in darkness, none of the crew-members faces can be seen. The captain sits back in his command chair. CAPTAIN Report. The camera angles to see DOCTOR COLON, the Rectumarian who worked on the bomb. DOCTOR COLON Captain, the Zeta-Eta 3-2-5 bomb was detonated one week ago. Our scans have since showed that are no survivors from their ship aside from three who have been combing the area for the last seven days obviously looking for any of their surviving comrades. CAPTAIN The three on the vessel? DOCTOR COLON Merely a normal human, an infant, and a Lychanthrope. They are not a concern. The captain leans back in his chair. CAPTAIN Did they suspect our involvement? DOCTOR COLON No... Not even when we had to nudge them along with the planted communicators. They never suspected that the P'rellians were working for us the whole time. Obviously, our plan to eliminate the army of Satan was a success far more than any of us had planned despite the P'rellian's miserable failure in the ice field. The Zeta Eta bomb was a happy blessing from God herself. CAPTAIN And you are certain the Satan is dead? DOCTOR COLON Nothing could have survived a blast of that magnitude. Plus, we found several instances of various organic matter... matching Human, metahuman, Xrax, Atlantean, and tiger DNA. The Satan and his army are quite dead. CAPTAIN Then there is no more need to hide ourselves. DOCTOR COLON Indeed. Doctor Colon starts taking off a LATEX MASK revealing that his is not a Rectumarian after all. The camera follows the captain gets up and walks towards the front of the bridge. Shadows still conceal his identity. CAPTAIN Ready the Phoenix Armada and tell them to set a course for Earth. Once we are there, we will wipe out everything and everyone on the surface. The Cradle of Satan will be cleansed and our people will start a new life there... He finally walks into the light revealing that he has blue skin and red eyes. He is a Xrax like Quasar. CAPTAIN ...and there will be no so-called Justice Squad to stop us. Doctor Colon steps in behind him revealing that he is Xrax as well. DOCTOR COLON Aye, captain. CUT TO BLACK: THE ENDRate and discuss this episode at the offical SPACE BLOWS DISCUSSION THREAD!
