Frederick threw open the doors to his new home. It was dark except for a lantern hanging from the ceiling. Stacks of hay sat in the corner, and the stuff was all under his feet.

"Well, at least there's free carpeting," he joked to himself. While whistling "Old McDonald", he unpacked what he needed. Then, when he couldn't stand it any longer, ran outside to do his business.

Hours later, Frederick was tired out and satisfied. His desk and bed were set up and his bookshelves stretched across one of the walls. It was as close to home as he could make it.

Terribly hungry, Frederick pulled an ear off of the cornstalk and bit it, then spit it out.

"Peh!" It tasted awful, of course. How he longed for food! But he couldn't risk getting lost in the corn.

Was he stuck here forever?

After a few attempts (okay, a lot more than a few), Frederick managed to start a fire. He roasted some corn and ate as he thought about what his new life would be like.

He wondered what Boris was doing right now. Probably blowing his top. After all, Frederick was a million-dollar hare. It was a big loss on Boris's part.

It would be an interesting time, alone and completely cut off from society. There would be tons of things to write about.

Then, when he was done with his first novel, he'd find his way back and get it published with his real name on the front cover. People would see him differently. It was a wonderful thought.

============

"WHERE IS HE???" Boris roared into the telephone. "I want to know! Now!" Stupid rabbit.

"Listen here mister," the policeman said calmly. "You're responsible for this rabbit. We've searched almost everywhere. If we can't find him, there isn't anything we can do."

"Yeah, there is! Search EVERYWHERE! Almost won't cut it!"

"Well, where else could we search then?"

"The next town! The next state! Go to Canada! We're talking about stolen property here!"

"Listen. We have no proof that he was kidnapped. And he isn't anyone's property. You have no rights to his life."
"Who says?"

"Sir, if I must remind you, you're speaking with the police here."

"Why should I care who you are? I'm his manager! He needs me!"

"If he needed you, you'd think he would've stayed instead of running off. Now stop bothering me. I have more important things to deal with." He hung up.

"CURSES!" Boris slammed the phone down. He would do whatever it took to find Fred, even if it cost him his life.

Okay, not really, but, you get the idea.

============

Frederick woke with a start. It was the middle of the night, and there were lights flashing about outside of the barn. He felt his dresser frantically for his glasses. Who could've possibly found him here?

Reaching for a candle and a match, he tripped on his shoes and fell back. He failed to light it in his haste, and forgetting about it, started grabbing things and stuffing them into an empty suitcase. In went his journals, books, pencils, everything that could fit in it. Tying his shoes tight, he was ready to run for it.

Sirens wailed and a large helicopter hovered above. Not stopping to wonder how in the world the police cars got here or who gave his secret away, he (literally) ran straight through the back wall, as we see all cartoons do, leaving a perfect outline of himself in the wood.

He ran faster than ever. It was now that Frederick was thankful for the diet Boris forced him on; he could fly through the cornfield if he wanted to, and he did just that.

Of course, he had no clue of where he was going. That was a bit of a problem. All he saw for miles and miles was corn, and the police didn't have a hard time catching up to him with their handy-dandy helicopter. Frederick took a chance by crouching down low and crawling past the rows of corn. When he was sure he had lost them, he stopped for a breath.

Then he had the most frightening experience of his life.

The next thing he knew, the enormous, round figure of his boss appeared in the air, blocking out the night sky. His mouth was wide open, his arms waving about as if he was trying to flap his wings (which, of course, he had none of). And he was yelling at the top of his lungs. Soon Frederick was too, but not for long.

Boris landed on top of him with a loud thump, and for a moment everything went black. When Boris got off of his face, he sat up. He thought he heard the chirping of little yellow birds circling his head, but decided it was his imagining. Before his unconsciousness was rid of however, Boris picked him up by his ears and swung him to his back like a sack of potatoes.

Frederick struggled uselessly until the little canaries flew away. It was then that his brain returned to his head, and he did what any brave and intelligent hare would do. Doing the calculations quickly, he aimed his powerful kick directly at the center of his boss's buttocks.

Boris let out an agonizing groan and keeled over, releasing his grip on Frederick's ears. Moving fast, he sped through the field, grabbing his suitcase along the way. A few minutes later he came to a railroad track at the edge of the field. It seemed an odd place for a train to come by, but Frederick didn't give a thought to it. As an old steam locomotive thundered past, he readied himself for the jump. It was to be timed precisely; he could not go too early, nor too late.

Ready, NOW! (Slow motion)

Frederick bent his knees for the jump and was slowed down by the yell heard behind him. He turned around to see Boris running toward him, puffing, his face the color of a ripe eggplant. He dove to get a hold of Frederick's feet.

"Nooooooooooooo!!!" Boris slowly fell to the ground, his arms still outstretched, hands clenched. (He missed, as you must know.) He watched as the train got farther and farther away with much anger.

Frederick, on the other hand, was immensely relieved. Hanging by the top of the coach with one hand, he slid the door open with his other and swung in. There in front of him was the most interesting group of animals he had ever seen. They were arguing with one another and didn't seem to notice Frederick's arrival.

"Haven't ya heard the rumors? He hash new plans for ush," said the mouse quite loudly. He was a dark brownish color and unusually large for a rodent of his species.

"N-new plans? Like what?" the pig squeaked nervously. His eyes darted around the room.

"We don't know . . .yet."

The pig covered his face and began sobbing. The cow bent to hand a handkerchief to him.

"Oh, stop your crying. You are such a pitiful pig," the bird clucked, shaking its head. This made the pig's wails even louder.

"You don't understand!"

"What the child says is true," the cow said wisely. "We are merely farm animals. There is nothing we can do to change our miserable lives or our fate."

"Oh, shtop it you two," the mouse interrupted. "We're getting no where. What I shay is we jump out of thish train right now."

"You know it's locked, Bert," the porcupine in the corner spoke up. That was when they all looked towards the door and found it to be open, along with a big bunny next to it wearing glasses and a jacket, staring at them. The pig fainted in shock.

"It's open, shee. Just don't know who the bunny rabbit ish. Sho let's get out of-"

"Wait a minute. Who is this guy anyway?" the bird said, crossing his wings.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Bert stopped. "Who are you, and what's ya doin' here?"

"Please! Please, don't hurt me," the pig cowered in Frederick's shadow. He had been awakened by the porcupine, who had crawled over and poked him with her very useful body armor.

"I'm not going to hurt anyone," Frederick said, sitting down. "I apologize for coming in like this, but I needed to get away."

"He is going to hurt us! An escaped criminal," the pig whispered, shaking.

"No!" he said, alarmed. "No, I haven't committed any sort of crime, at least I think not. It's-it's a very long story. I'm . . .looking for a new life, is all."

"Oh child! We feel for you!" The cow gazed at him through her longish eyelashes, a look of pure sympathy.

"Well mister, it your lookin' for a better life, you've come to the wrong place," the bird said. The others had to agree with that one. They all nodded their heads vigorously. Bert ran up to him and said in his ear.

"If I wush you, I'd get out of here. And that's what we're all gonna do now."

"Bert! Where'll we get food? What if we end up getting lost? Or someone else catches us? You obviously haven't thought this out," the porcupine argued.

"The girl has a point there." The cow said sadly. "We're doomed either way." The pig broke down in sobs once more.

"Listen, I have no idea what you're all talking about," Frederick said, frustrated. "If someone would explain, I would appreciate it."

"Thash right. Have we all forgotten our manners?" Bert put his hands on his hips and held his head high. "I'm Camembert. Named after the smooth, creamy yellow cheese with a delicious white crust-"

"Oh, would you stop that?" The porcupine was getting annoyed. She turned to Frederick. "He's obsessed." Then she continued to the mouse, "Cheese is made from the fermentation of milk! It's called mold, Bert."

"Hey! At leasht I don't eat . . .what do you eat anway?"

"Pigs, probably," the bird muttered.

"That isn't funny!" The pig said angrily.
"My friends, we are forgetting the rabbit here," the cow reminded them. "I'm sorry, child. I'm Barbara."

"And I'm Sherry," the porcupine told him.

The strange creature that resembled a bird of some sort stepped up.

"My name is Mufasa, the father who meets his end at a cliff, decieved by his own brother . . .a noble character in the story based upon Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'." He swept his wing through the air and posed dramatically.

"He's out of his mind too," Sherry whispered to him. "The poor thing is the only one of his sort you'll ever see."

"It's true!" he cried. "My mother, a hen, died giving birth to me, while my rooster of a father abandoned me in the middle of a field. I am an outcast, a shame to both species." He lifted his head and continued. "And this little swine here is Porky, but we like to call him Bacon."

Porky crawled into a corner, hurt.

"Stop it, Mufasa." Sherry sighed. "Why do you always have to pick on him?"

"Yes, child," Barbara said. "We mustn't be cruel to one another."

"Okay, okay! I was only joking. He really goes by Georgie," he said to Frederick. "Happy?"

"Peoples!" Bert yelled, startling them. "We don't even know who he ish yet!" Frederick introduced himself. " . . .And I'm a hare, if you must know."
"All right! Someone else who is proud to be who he is!" Mufasa quacked. "We must be strong, brother." Sherry rolled her eyes.

This was when the train slowed to a stop. Footsteps could be heard from outside.

"Uh oh! He'sh coming!"

"Quickly! Hide over there, child." The cow gestured behind her. Frederick crawled over on his knees and covered himself in hay. He heard the door slide open.