"This isn't real," I moaned into Seth's pillow. "This can't be happening!"

"Jason, please try to understand... I vould never lie to you, don't you know zat by now?"

"But you would do this?!" I screeched.

He was completely silent and taken aback for a moment, drawing his hand away from my flesh like it burned him. "Jason...! You don't sink zat I vould do zis, do you?" He appeared genuinely hurt, and I almost felt bad. Except for that part that I was still a vampire. And if Seth knew I was a vampire, and how to take care of a vampire--well, he'd probably managed to drink my blood at some point, and I'd probably just drank his and sealed the pact.

I just looked at him with an expression that voiced my thought, `Don't try to bullshit me. I know how this works,' though I didn't verbalize anything.

"Jason, I'm not lying to you, believe me. Zis isn't some silly Hollyvood movie--it doesn't vork zat vay. You're eezer born a vampire or you're not--it's zat simple. Nobody drank your blood, and zat vasn't mine in zat plastic bag."

He'd just countered my every mental accusation, and I hadn't said a word. That worried me--mentally.

And he knew it.

"Please don't be frightened of me. It's Seth, remember? Your good buddy Seth from the office? From the bar?" He grinned at me, using his ridiculous Texas accent again. And he knew what I was thinking. "Vell, I couldn't let people know about my true identity, you realize. Hence my pitiful attempt at American accent."

"How are you...doing that?"

"Vhat, ze accent?"

"You know what I'm thinking and I'm not saying a word!"

"Oh, you mean reading your zoughts?" He laughed lightly. "It's somesing ve can do, Jason. Give it a try."

He stared hard at me, obviously concentrating, but I didn't hear anything coming from his mind. "I can't," I muttered.

He just shrugged. "It vill come to you--in time. Like oszer sings. In zeh meantime--"

"In the meantime, I would like to get a shower," I interrupted, starting to sit up.

"NO!" he barked so suddenly I was afraid to breathe. As if it was necessary. "Jason, you can not touch vater," he said very, very seriously. "A few drops may only burn your skin, but if you get in ze showver..." He shook his head with a shudder.

"I smell like--death!" I retorted with a grimace.

"It vill pass," he promised. "Please don't do anysing foolish. Just let zis run its course."

"Oh." I was beyond disappointed. I remembered flashes of things--showering the morning before my surprising death, never thinking it would be the last time. All those summers spent relaxing at the pool, going to the Y with friends from work, and...and then there had been that night with Sharon--skinny dipping at the lake under the stars...

"Jason--please!" Seth looked upset again, all traces of amusement gone from his face and tone.

"Sorry," I said with a wry grin. "You understand, though, I'm sure." I laughed a little, my throat scratchy but getting somewhat back to normal, but he didn't seem to find it funny. "What? You've never been skinny dipping with a girl before?"

"No," he said immediately with indignation. Then he stood up.

"Wait--hey, man! I didn't mean to--"

He shrugged. "I'm not trying to deny you your precious memories," he said, his tone apologetic. "Just please vait until I'm out of zeh room before sinking about...sings of a...personal nature, okay?"

"So this psychic thing has limits, eh?" I asked with mild disappointment.

"Less that the distance across zis room," he nodded. "And it's only between vampires. Vell, I'll leave you to it."

"Don't go--!" I cried, suddenly very frightened again.

"Jason, it's almost dawn. Aren't you tired? Pleasant dreams!" He started to leave again.

And again I stayed him. "I'm in your bed, aren't I?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I can sleep on ze couch. Is no trouble."

"But..." I hesitated. How would he feel about my next question? Would he find it insulting?

"You're vondering if ve should be sleeping in coffins?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

I grinned a little, feeling the glide of elongated teeth along my upper lip. "Sorry?"

"You and your movies!" He laughed again, his eyes gleaming with...what? Sheer joy, it seemed. I'd never seen him so happy. "You make me happy," he murmured, still smiling.

I didn't get that at all, but I didn't say anything. He left me alone, but I didn't feel like thinking about Sharon any more. I had so many questions, but a sudden drowsiness came over me with the dawn, and I was asleep before I knew it.

"Guten morgen!" a voice chirped.

I opened my eyes and groaned in protest. "Where's my ten minute warning?" I whined.

"Vhat?" Seth laughed at me, then ripped the blankets away. "I gave you an extra two hours, so don't tell me 'ten more minutes,' my friend!"

The events of the night before rushed back at me in a wave of dizziness and I closed my eyes, pressing my face to the pillows.

"...Are you all right now?" Seth asked me after a few moments.

"...Dizzy," was all I could say.

"You're starving--so am I. Vhy don't you get dressed and I'll go get us somesing to eat, ja?"

"...Okay," I whispered, only because I couldn't fight the pain in my growling stomach, though I was afraid what he'd be bringing back for us "to eat".

I forced myself out of bed, doubled over with the pain of some fierce hunger, then staggered over to the bureau. I discovered after a quick search that he'd crammed all of his clothes--however neatly--into the bottom two drawers, and filled the top three with my personal effects.

Personal effects...

I had a flashing vision of him asking for my "personal effects" at the morgue when he went to visit me--no....identify my body....?

Sharon hadn't been there. She'd taken some things that belonged to me, nothing of value, just sentimental photographs and a sweater I liked. I knew these things as though I'd been witness to them, and felt the awful pain of the suffering my death had caused. And I couldn't deny that I was dead, after all.

I put on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved gray T-shirt (I thought I remembered it being another color, somehow), feeling a little stiff but otherwise fine. Oh, besides that insatiable lust for blood I'd suddenly acquired.

I heard Seth come back and mess around in the kitchen, and sat down on the bed for a moment to pretend he was making dinner--real dinner. It wasn't easy to picture. I understood now why he always said, "I'm watching my weight" even though he was as slim as could be; he was never hungry and never seemed to want to have dinner with anybody from the office. It all made perfect sense now, and never having seen him eat, it was impossible to picture him cooking now.

But what about the bar? The beer?

The beer I'd never seen him drink, but I'd gulped and then gotten deathly ill. And then died--can't forget that part.

Had Seth poisoned me? But for what purpose? If he was lonely, why not make some chick a vampire--or, if that was impossible like Seth had told me, why not wait for a cute little vamp to come along? Besides, how could he know I'd be a vampire, if it was some random selection as he'd explained.

Of course Seth didn't kill me, I thought, angry with myself. I should have been grateful, not suspicious. After all, if he hadn't realized what I had become, where would I be? Starving under the earth?

Speaking of which...

"Are you ready to eat?" Seth's voice sang to me.

"I'm coming!" I called back, but hurriedly made the bed and folded my dirty clothes before joining him in the kitchen. There was a strange bottle-shaped vase of a deep, red, delicious drink and two wine goblets sitting on the kitchen table. I licked my lips thirstily. "Is this going to hurt as much as yesterday?" I'd learned to talk pretty well already.

"Not quite so much, I don't sink," he smiled, eyeing me with a strange look. It was awkward to have him look at me with the same look I gave the blood--identifiable only as lust.

"Sit down," he offered, gesturing to a free chair. As I sat down and watched his graceful movements, he poured a glass for me and one for himself. After doin that, though, he kept watching me instead of having some himself. "Drink," he murmured. "But--do it slowly."

Somehow he made it sound as though it were all a show to pleasure himself and not a tutorial in vampirism. He smiled as I raised the glass to my lips and whispered, "Zat's right..." and I had to wonder if he was responding to my thoughts of a moment before or just complimenting my form. He did seem incredibly attractive in this new form I saw him in, like some beautiful and mysterious creauture of the night--which, I suppose, he is.

I tried to drink slowly--I really did. But once it touched my tongue, I started gulping the stuff down and couldn't stop, totally losing control. Blood ran over my chin and spilled all over my shirt and I was snarling as my tongue stretched to smack up those last juicy drops on the bottom of the glass.

"Okay, okay!" Seth cried, jerking the glass out of my reach. I bit his wrist, growling, and held on. I didn't, of course, break the elastic skin.

Before I could come to my senses and stop the madness from raging out of control, a horrible pain shuddered my body into agonized suffering, low in my stomach, and I let go of Seth and clutched at my lower gut. Then in an instant it was over. And I felt fantastic.

I looked up at Seth in happy surprise, then remembered I'd been chewing on him. I would have blushed if I could have. "I'm--I'm so sorry!" I cried in confusion, my eyes blurring pink.

He smiled and held up his sleeve, revealing his wrist and showing me that all was well.

The flow of my blood tears stopped instantly.

"Didn't hurt, Jason. But I can't take you anyvhere until you get zat under control, you realize."

"Is this...normal?" I asked quietly, still surprised by his gentle voice's thick German accent.

"In zeh beginning, yes," he nodded thoughtfully. "In a few veeks, perhaps ve'll try...dining out."

"You mean killing?"

He shook his head. "Don't sink of it zat vay..."

"How else am I supposed to think of it? Is that what you do, kill while I wait for you to bring home the goods? Until I'm experienced enough to murder on my own?"

He flinched visibly, his face twitching as though in pain. And I knew my words had stung. I saw through his eyes--two bodies...men...in the throes of passion, together, and then blood... God, so much blood...

A thick drop of red rolled from the corner of Seth's eye down the side of his cheek and to his chin. He wiped it away as though it was dirty, but I had wanted to taste it--almost smacking myself for the mere thought.

"You saw zat, didn't you?" he asked, too concerned with his own pain to worry about my sudden perverse idea.

"Sorry," I whispered, almost fearing retaliation.

But of course Seth would never hurt me. He didn't have to tell me that or even think it--I just knew.

"It vas...long ago, vhen I vas still very young..."

"That was you?!" I thought again of two men--they were both men, weren't they?--making love, moaning with intense desires, and then one of them--

"My lover, Jeremiah." He smiled sadly at the distant memory. "So long ago. But ze pain never leaves, Jason." He was staring down at his glass now. He poured me another, and then sat down to drink his. "Don't be uncomfortable," he pleaded. "Zhere's still so much ve don't know about each other; but ve have all ze time in ze vorld to learn."

I reached very timidly for the goblet he'd placed before me, trying not to think about the "killing" any more.

"Go ahead," he smiled dreamily. "Just remember--slow 'n steady." He said that last part with the Texas accent to make me laugh, and I did manage at least a smile.

He began to sip his...drink, his eyes slipping shut and a truly sensual look crossing his delicate features. It was almost turning me on to watch, and as I saw him smile through the quickly draining glass, I knew he knew I thought so.

To distract myself, I picked up my own glass again, and began to drink. I choked when I tried to stop drinking so fast, and gasped in desperation for more, like a drowning man being denied a breath of air, but managed to finish without spilling any more than a slight smear on my upper lip. When I was done, I set the glass down with a shaky hand and squeezed my eyes shut while my stomach turned over. But this was just a quick cramp, nothing too painful.

When I opened my eyes and looked up, Seth was staring at me again with that deep gaze.

"...What?" I asked awkwardly.

"Gut," he said. "Much better. I sink you'll be fine in a few more veeks. In ze meantime..."

"...In the meantime...?" I pressed.

"In ze meantime, perhaps you'd like to change again?"

I looked down and realized that my shirt was stained with the blood of my hard-learned lesson.