A/N and Disclaimer: I don’t own the song Konstantine by Something Corporate and claim absolutely no right to it in anyway. I don’t intend any sort of infringement, I am not making money off of this, and I am not claiming it as my own work. Please note that all italicized text is not my own but the work of the previously named artist. Thank you.

Publish Date: 11/03\03

Title: Your Konstantine

The raw rain filled sky, scared with the dark clouds cutting across its vivid azure backdrop brought forth a swirling pattern of black and blue. The battered appearance of the sky-scape brought a bittersweet feeling of longing and loathing to the breast of those that surveyed it. The cool crystalline drops beat down against the gray pavement with a rhythmic melody, filling the void of silence with its sonorous song. The depth of perception faded into nothingness. Our reality was distorted by the free falling droplets, crashing into the earth with a gentle sound magnified a thousand fold by the repetition and duplication.

The angry white streaks of lightening slashed the sky, seeming to rip it apart to release the torrents upon the parched ground. The deafening roar of thunder reverberated across creation, brought forth by the silent shout of the bolt that had just pierced the sky. It was a fitting atmosphere for all that was occurring.

Your retreating silhouette against the cataclysmic backdrop brought forth a deep contrition within me. The material of your clothes clung to your soaked skin as your hair matted against your head. The sound of another clap of glorious thunder swallowed whatever I called after you in vain hopes that I could make amends. My silent scream swallowed by the eruption. Keeping me from any hopes that I could salvage whatever might have been left of our desperate situation.

The dripping fabric of my clothes stuck to my drenched skin in a chilling reminder of the reality of which I was still a part. My salty, crystalline tears mixing with the rain as they drizzled their lazy paths down my face. Their stinging heat prickling against my golden orbs as I watched your figure disappear into the mist that surrounded us.

The dreams we had lay shattered at my feet as I realized that there was nothing left on which to cling, as your retreat granted me the assurance that what we had was now gone. That there were too many holes and tears to patch in the flimsy fabric of our hearts to be mended. All the nights and afternoons spent in your living room were for naught. Nothing that we had, at some point, mattered anymore.

All I wanted was to be your everything.

Perhaps it was too much to ask, perhaps it was too much for which to hope, perhaps….

You had talked about her briefly, the one that got away. The girl that I never could be, the girl that you wanted me to be, the girl I wished that I could be. You know, I tried, don’t you? I had heard you speak her name in your sleep, I had heard you shout her name as your passion showered over me in bed. The orgiastic sensations weren’t enough to cloud the knowledge that you had called another’s name.

"Konstantine."

There was an insatiable hope in me that I might be able to make you forget her. It was never to be so. You lived in the past, never releasing her the way she had released you. The depth of your hurt rooted far beyond the simple goodbye she must have uttered, as I see your broad shoulders disappear in a rounded defeat. I never wanted you to hurt like that, I never would hurt you like she did. I’m terribly sorry that I couldn’t be everything that you wanted me to be. Everything that she had once been, you know I tried.

I wish that you had confided within me, that I had been able to know about the girl that I would never be able to replace. Reality was that you never actually confided a single word within me, beside this bittersweet goodbye. Everything else had been meaningless babble to fill the awkward silences. Nothing but empty conversations filled with empty words.

The powerful summer storm already fading into a memory as the torrents reduced to nothing by a sprinkle. The ardent, zealous passion that the downpour had held now nothing but a trickle as I remain frozen to the place where you left me. I would never change a moment, but I would if it meant you would keep me. The thought was melancholy and depressing, but through it all, I only have a single regret. I only want one thing.

I never got to be your star.

I never got to be your Konstantine.

A/N: Just a different take on a song that I really like – love. If you haven’t heard it, download it, now. As always, reviews welcomed, constructive criticism craved.