Again I turned over and buried my head in my pillow. Lately I just wasn't sleeping too well. . . you know how it goes. Suddenly I heard this odd echoey voice, calling my name.

"Mitchell. . . Mitchell. . ."

Apprehensively, I turned over and looked into the face of my grandfather. I shrieked and jumped to my feet. It was really incredibly creepy that my grandfather was sneaking into my room in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep, but the thing that was really scaring me was the fact that he'd been dead for three years.

"What the hell!?" I screamed, "You-you're dead!"

"No, really? I had no idea. I know I'm dead, boy. I'm paying you a little visit because I want to talk to you. I've been watching you, and I'm very dissapointed."

"WHAT!?"

"I've seen you with that girlfriend of yours, Mitch."

"Oh dear God. . . I'm so sorry!"

"You'd better be sorry. Will you just hurry up and get her pregnant already?"

"I'm sorry, I-wait, what!?"

"You haven't even gotten to second base yet. For the love of God, boy, you don't have forever!"

"WHAT!?"

"Listen, has it occurred to you that you're the last male left in our family besides your father? It's up to you to pass on the family name. So get crackin' boy."

"I'm not hearing this. . ."

"Harold?" said another distant voice, that I recognized as that of my dead Grandmother. She appeared next to her husband, fuzzy at first but then coming in clear. "Oh hello Mitchell."

"Grammy!?"

"Harold," she continued to Grampa, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm tryin' to talk to the boy about him and his girlfriend."

"Well it's about time." She turned to me. "You two need to do less yapping and more fornicating."

"GRAMMY! NO! GOD!"

"What? You don't want to procreate with her? She seems like a perfectly nice girl."

"Grammy, not from you! And besides, I'm only fifteen!"

"So? Your grandfather and I were going at it like rabbits when we were fifteen."

"NO! NO!"

"It's true," Grampa interjected, "We made your father, and he started with your mom in High School. . ."

I began to bang my head against the bedpost.

"So get off your lazy butt," he continued, "And father us a grandson!"

"We'd better go now," Grammy said, "It's time for shuffleboard. Remember to eat all your peas, you're a growing boy, and she's not gonna let you-"

"GRAMMY!"

"Sorry, sorry. Jeez, where'd he get all these hangups?"

"Your side of the family," Grampa sneered.

And with a pop they were gone. Well, guess there's another memory I'll try my damnedest to repress.