Chapter 7, Giving In

I was in my cell, listening to two distant prisoners discussing my condition. They heard my screams, the screams that the curtain could not smother, and they saw the blood that had soaked through the back of my robes, and they wondered about what I had said. I covered my head with my pillow to drown them out, but I could feel their eyes on me. In my head, I was yelling at them to be quiet, and that’s when I noticed something odd; the audience was no longer making noise, even though they were still there. They did not move, they did not make a sound heavier than soft breathing.

“When are you going to learn, Briar?” Toulouse asked.

So he had returned from Holy Hell alive. I pulled the pillow tighter.

“Briar, are you in there? Come on, say something, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Toulouse said.

“I am not in the mood, Toulouse.” I replied from under the pillow.

“Hey, I’m trying to help you. Do you know what is going to happen to you if you mouth of again?”

“No.”

“Well I do, and it isn’t good.”

“What is it? What do they do?”

“So now you want to talk to me?”

“Please, Toulouse, I was just beaten, and I did not mean to be sour with you.”

“Apology accepted. Now, if you don’t just give in to Father Isaac, he’s going to have you tortured in ways you can’t even imagine. He may be holy, but he isn’t afraid to cut off fingers, toes, hands, feet, and…well, that guy died right afterward, so he didn’t feel much pain. But really, I don’t want you to be tortured like that, so stop fighting Father Isaac, and start behaving and you won’t have to be hurt everyday.”

“I am supposed to give up my religious beliefs just because Father Isaac says so?”

“Worked for me, I mean, it wasn’t hard.”

I stopped talking. He gave up so easily, he gave in. But when it matters, those who are true to their faith are the ones who are weeded out from those who do not truly believe. Maybe the reason the audience was not talking was because I was losing faith in my ability to interest them, and the reason that the curtain was no longer secure for me was that I did not feel secure on my own. So it was then that I decided that I could only rely on myself if I wanted to get off of my stage. And it was then that a plan began to take shape in my mind. I would get out, and I would be taking everyone else with me.