|Praying to Forget
Author: karmakaze PM
About a recent breakup of mine. Despite the word, "praying," this is one of my non-religious poems that, as mentioned earlier, deals with being cheated on, and rejected.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Words: 675 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-07-03 - id: 1441242
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(Based on a true story)
Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been
Swamped with schoolwork. Well, I'm back!
Sometimes I can be the greatest fool
And torn through my selfless fate
How dare you show me the negative?
Or the vengeful side of me
Why on Earth did I ever trust you?
Why did I ever meet you?
Put on the spot, ashamed beyond shame
Hurt as though I never cared
Something about you and who you were
Told me that you were okay
I believed you and I regret it
How is life better for me?
I've seen you with your so many girls
Did I mean a thing to you?
Was I just another of your girls?
Or did you feel something more?
Why, oh why did I do the nice thing?
And stay with you when you lied
When I saw you kiss another girl?
Admitting it shamelessly
The night before everything ended
I urgently spoke to you
I told you that you were hurting me
By never putting me first
You hung up quickly; you had to go
And I waited for the end
Wanting you here and wanting you gone
Leaving me depressed and lost
I would have waited for a while
I figured you might just stop
But I couldn't count on it
Rather I just mourned my loss
I read what you wrote me in my class
You want to just be my friend
Everyone turned to see my crying
Angry, laughing, burning tears
I saw you again and heard your voice
You pretended nothing changed
I pushed you away, for once and all
You tried to make me return
You couldn't hold me there and I ran
After telling you to leave
That you would not use me anymore
And you ignored every word
You pretend that we can still be friends
My pride tells me differently
I want to burn your image out of
My so aggravated mind
I wish you well, but I wish you gone
I want you out of my life
So I cannot ever think of you
And loathe your horrid presence
I never want to see you again
So why do I somehow miss you
And the person that you used to be
Why do tears fall from my eyes?
Free my tormented mind
From all memory of you
I will the bane emotion away
And the part of me that cares
In the smallest of places I care
And you never really left
You're still here, haunting my thoughts and dreams
If you truly cared, you'd leave
I have feelings for the image I see
When I close my eyes and know
The kindred soul I thought that you were
And I wish that you were back
When I see you in reality
Your laugh makes me want to cry
I am filled with rage and painful fear
What can I do as of now?
I feel so bad that I want to call you
And then the thought surfaces
That you are the reason that I cry
And that you hurt me so much
In an alternate reality
You never would have kissed her
You would only have had eyes for me
And I would be calling you
Not writing this poem in your name
I will never let you see
The reminiscence and memory
Before you showed me the truth
I know that what my friends say is true
I can do better than you
But somehow it's hard to accept that
I never wanted better
What did I ever demand from you?
Save loyalty and respect
I part with you for the final time
Praying that I will forget